I got a real dilema, this morning....

[Big Muddy]

I'm in my deer stand, and plan on staying here until around 1 pm....I forgot my wide-mouth pee jug, so I'm trying to figure out how to pee in this little Coke bottle. ;)

If my johnson was the size of Thump's, I'd just stick it "inside" the little neck of the bottle. ;)

[Thumper]

If it were the size of mine, it would reach the ground!

FWIW, I did a bit of research many years ago. I'd always carried a pee bottle with me, but at one point, I decided it was not worth the effort. One morning I pee'd out of my stand and it had zero effect on how the deer acted, except for the fact one little button buck and his little sister walked right by my tree and stopped to sniff the wet spot. It didn't seem to affect their behavior in any way. I killed a nice 7-point (plus a couple of stickers) that day and from that point forward, I just started peeing out of my stand.

[Captain]

Pocket knife, cut the top off from the bottle. Pour the pee out the window of the stand. A buck will be there shortly.

[Thumper]

Oh yeah, I forgot you hunt from condos. I was in a tree stand.

[BarryBobPosthole]

I heard once that human pee loses its scent quickly. No idea if that's true. I use a empty gatorade bottle.

BKB

[Big Muddy]

Condo won't matter....I'll just hang it out the window, close my eyes until I get an image of a nekkid Selena Gomez....it'll stiffen right up, then I can pee a straight line into that log pile over yonder about 50 feet. ;)

[Big Muddy]

Btw, ya'll remember those sweet taters that I "accidently" dropped near my deer stand???....the day'um coyotes ate every single one of them....the game camera caught them, chowing down on them at 3 am.

I know yotes love watermelons, but had no idea they like sweet taters, too. ;)

[quercus alba]

the protein in urine breaks down pretty quick, couple of hours at the most. I had a friend that used to hunt pipelines and he claimed you could scratch up the dirt with your boot toe then pee in it and every deer that came along would stop and check it out

[jb]

Never had a problem peeing on the ground next to my deer blind, kick some dirt and leaves over it and keep on hunting.
In my ladder stand by the time the pee reaches the ground it's spread over a 10 yard radius, then I just open a bottle of apple cider and let the wind do the same thing with a few drops of that.
This scent chit is just a way for some companies to take your hard earned $$

[Nandy]

as many mentioned, pee off your stand, it wont hurt a thing...

[LJ3]

What if you ate asparagus?

[Captain]

What if you ate asparagus?

Don't nobody eat that shit!

[Big Muddy]

Well, I guess ya'll are some smart fellers....this little gal came to visit my pee spot about 10 ft. from my deer stand, just a few minutes ago.

I'll fix the day'um pic, when I get home !!! Frigging iphone. ;)


8221


ROTATED AND CORRECTED THE MOFO !!!!! ;)

[Bwana]

BM, you want me to call my sister?

[BarryBobPosthole]

She's just on the trail of an old goat with a weak bladder.

BKB

[Chicken Dinner]

The thought of a guy your age being able to pee 10' is cracking me up. You'd be lucky to clear the window sill in the blind...


Well, I guess ya'll are some smart fellers....this little gal came to visit my pee spot about 10 ft. from my deer stand, just a few minutes ago.

I'll fix the day'um pic, when I get home !!! Frigging iphone. ;)


8220. ;)

[Big Muddy]

She's just on the trail of an old goat with a weak bladder.

BKB

Ha, yep, but it's consistent.....consistently dribbling !!! ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

What's that old joke about dribbling before you shoot?

I still wince every time I take a piss expecting some sort of extreme pain. I remember my Dad saying once when he was in his 70s that nothing felt better than a good strong piss. I kinda know what he meant now!

BKB

[Big Muddy]

Ha, Chick, I wish.... !!!....10 ft. is how far I tossed the pee can out the window. ;)

[Big Muddy]

BM, you want me to call my sister?

Bwana, I got this friggin' iphone set to correctly post my pics, but the day'um thing just don't like me. ;)

[Captain]

My dad says after you turn 80 you are doing one of two things.
Peeing, or looking for a place to Pee.

[Nandy]

OK, can't take it any longer, will someone let me in the inside joke of "call bwana Sister"?

[Big Muddy]

Ha, Cap, I think I've told this story previously, but when my Dad was in assisted-living with that day'um dementia, a nurse would come by once a month to pick up his urine sample, which he would leave in a bottle in the bathroom for her....in the later stages of his condition, the nurse called me, one morning, and said that he didn't leave any pee in the bottle for her, and that Dad had gotten a little testy with her about it.

I dropped by for my daily visit with him, and asked him why there was no pee sample....he said, in no uncertain terms, that it was in the bathroom....I checked, but there was no pee in the bottle....I showed him the empty bottle, and he asked, "What's, that???---that's not my pee bottle, it's the other bottle."

I looked around, and found his dentures container was slap full of yellow, NOT blue, dentures cleanser....I rinsed it out, then walked back into the room, holding the container...he glanced over and said, "Told ya.";);)

While it can sometimes lead to humorous situations, that day'um disease is just sheeity, for an otherwise healthy individual..

[BarryBobPosthole]

Hahahaha, good story Eddie.

[Captain]

Dang Muddy, that just ain't right!

[Nandy]

My grandpaw in my mother side worked in construction amongst other things. His foreman helmet was his pride. I was told that while i was a toddler on one occasion I received hiM on the door, took his helmet from him and proceed to pee in it... He did not touch me, I am named after him.

[Big Muddy]

i think I told ya'll this one, too....one of the worst beatings (yes, beating !!!), I ever got was when I was about 6 yrs, old, from my Dad at our old deer camp back in the '50s....sleepy-eyed, I got up in the middle of the night to pee, and just walked out on the porch of the old shotgun house, which everyone bunked in, back then.

How was I to know that the old black camp cook had come in early to start breakfast, and was sitting on the steps, right below the porch, smoking a cigarette???....he squalled like a panther, and woke up everybody.

Two things I remember--- my Dad grabbing me by my pajama tops, and dragging me behind the old out-house, and the sight of the old camp cook, standing there with his old greasy hat dripping, and that soaked cigarette, hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

My butt got whooped good, and I couldn't sit down for a week....I deserved it, too. !!!

[BarryBobPosthole]

These stories remind me of the Patrick McManus story about Pat and his buddy Crazy Eddie Muldoon peeing in the jars in the attic of the garage.

BKB

[Big Muddy]

My g'kids tell me to write a book....no way !!!....all my childhood buddies would sue the sheeit outta me. ;)

[quercus alba]

I see Posthole and I have similar taste in literature. The title of that story is called The Experiment. I particularly remember the part where crazy Eddie's (wonder if it was our Eddie) dad had a six foot switch warming it up on a fence post

[Big Muddy]

Heck, QA, I woulda welcomed only a 6 ft. switch....my Dad kept a cattle slapper under his truck seat....shoulda called it an Eddie slapper....I bet Cap knows what I'm talking about, since he's got cattle. ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

I have a long road trip tomorrow and part of Thursday and I just downloaded 'Kerplunk, and other Stories' to listen to in the truck. I've read all of his books (except the murder mystery ones) and keep a small stack of two or three of them on my nightstand. My wife always knows what I'm reading because I'm laughing so much.

As I was packing for my own hunting trip, it made me think of another McManus story, QA, about when he went to deer camp. When he got home from deer camp, he told Bun he'd thought she'd packed his underwear for him and she said she did, she packed them in his gun case.

BKB

[Chicken Dinner]

That right there is funny.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Big Muddy]

Ha, Postie, that answered at least two questions about ole Pat's hunting trip....and, I'm sure Bun had a few more questions for ole Pat. ;)

1. He never changed drawers

2. He didn't kill sheeit. ;)

[Nandy]

He didn't kill sheeit. ;)

If he did not changed im sure that is HOW he smell!!!

[quercus alba]

don't waste your time on his murder mystery stuff. Great humor writer, horrible mystery writer