Sad Day For My Kids

[LJ3]

One of my youngest's kids friends attempted suicide today at school. Went to school, overdosed himself and then hung himself in the school. Somehow he's in critical condition and it doesn't look good at all. Just got back from taking her to a prayer vigil at her school. I can't imagine a more sad thing to do.

Stay in touch with your chirren, make sure they're ok. My heart aches for his family.

I don't know any of the details but I damn sure know where I live puts way too much pressure on our children. They hardly ever get to just be dumbass kids enjoying life.

http://www.loudountribune.com/stone-bridge-student-in-critical-condition-after-suicide-attempt/

[LJ3]

And with that... he just died.

[Chicken Dinner]

I saw this on FB earlier today. Hugged my kids a little tighter this evening.


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[Trav]

That is terrible, my prayers go out to his family and your daughters. Both of my nieces who live with me have tried in the last 18 months and I struggle to understand it. I just try to make sure they know they are loved and that there is always a better way. Luckily aside from some scars for one they both seem to be physically healed with no lasting damage but emotionally they are still working through their issues.

[Thumper]

I'm speechless. My condolences to the family.

[airbud7]

Sad, Really Sad.

[Captain]

Dang LJ. That's tough duty for you all.
Thinking of your girls. Hug them up and let them talk through it.. tough time of year for such sadness.

[Arty]

That's really sad stuff. It immediately makes me thankful for my two boys. The wife and I have been underwhelmed with each of them in a couple of areas lately and hearing something like this just makes you thankful for healthy children. So sad. What a time of year to boot.


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[BarryBobPosthole]

I worked with a good friend whose son killed himself when he was 14 years old. It was just a terrible ordeal to watch him go through. And the plain and simple fact is, there aren't many answers for family and friends left that they can identify with. I've never had depression that I know of but it must be a terrible feeling.

BKB

[Thumper]

I had a 15 yr. old cousin kill herself (with her dad's handgun). She killed herself over the breakup with her boyfriend.

My younger brother's high school girlfriend hung herself after they broke up. She was 16.

That's a tough age and what are seemingly minor problems in life, can sometimes feel overwhelming.

[LJ3]

Not that it's about me at all but... When something like this happens you hear lots of people say "I can't imagine how that seemed like the thing to do" "How can someone do that?" "I could never do that, I'd be too scared" "I can't relate to being in that state of mind" and things like that.

I know a guy. He's been there. And the abyss you peer in to isn't scary at all. It's actually quite peaceful and inviting, a very pleasant thought and idea. Sweet relief, as it were. THAT, is the terrifying part.

[BarryBobPosthole]

When almost everything in our physical and mental nature is about surviving, all the way down to the reason arteries on on the inside and veins are on the outside, the thought of death being an inviting place seems to be just patently alien. Sure, I understand that it is a real thought people have, but what is it a product of?

BKB

[Thumper]

I "think" I'm picking up a message there Lenster, and I've been there also. It's tough, but the mind can really play games with you sometimes. Weird stuff held me back ... like I wanted to clean the house up a bit so the authorities didn't think I was a pig! Stupid things like that. I guess all that means is I didn't really have the balls ... thank goodness!

[Chicken Dinner]

I know it doesn't work this way. But, any one of you effers could call me any time. Seriously.

[Thumper]

Oh, I'm going back many years as far as my personal experience CD. I was a bit younger then. Let's see, my girlfriend got pregnant (she was supposedly on the pill), my wife found out and sued me for a divorce, I lost my job because the girlfriend also happened to be my boss' secretary, she bailed and sued me for child support, I'd just bought a house and was totally upside down in it since that was the early 80's when interest rates shot up so high you couldn't sell a house if you wanted to. Lemme see, the wife took the new car, my company took my demo and I was left driving my old beater that I hauled my motorcycle with when I had a race, but I had to quit racing and sell the bike to pay bills. Ummm, lemme see ... no job/income, sky-high house payment, alimony, child support, multiple attorney's fees, etc. etc. etc. It was a dark time for me! BUT ... I immediately found an even better job, mended fences with the wimmin folk, met Lynn and started a new life. Things have a way of working out no matter how bad they may seem at the time.

Thanks for the offer though. I still kick myself in the ass for not helping my cousin. We were very close and she talked about things with me that she couldn't discuss with her dad (her mom was long gone). She was in Atlanta and I was here, but we emailed and talked on the phone regularly. We talked about the break-up with her boyfriend and she was really distraught, but I had no clue she was suicidal. We talked one night and I assured her all would work out and one day she'd be able to look back and realize it wasn't anything close to as bad as it seems. I got the news she'd shot herself in the head the next day. I blamed myself for a long time because I assured her she could talk to me about ANYTHING, and it wouldn't go past me. I should have broken my promise I guess. :(

[Chicken Dinner]

I think it's particularly difficult for young people to have the perspective that today's problems/challenges aren't insurmountable and that better days will come.

[Arty]

I think it's particularly difficult for young people to have the perspective that today's problems/challenges aren't insurmountable and that better days will come.

I think you hit a big issue square on the head with this statement.



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[Hombre]

I think it's particularly difficult for young people to have the perspective that today's problems/challenges aren't insurmountable and that better days will come.

I think you're right and the fact that they are going through all kinds of developmental hormone changes, what is rational isn't always easy for them to see. At least as a parent that's what I tell myself.

[Nandy]

That is some stuff stuff there Len, I feel for your kids and the most for that family that is left behind with all the pain, questions and hurt.
Human brain dont really reach adulthood until close to 30 if I recall right, teens with their hormones ravaging cant even at time contain themselves from incorrect behavior. Sometimes it seems nothing will help...
Im glad my daughter is way past teen and reaching that age of better mental health and adulthood...

[BarryBobPosthole]

Its not just youngsters that are susceptible. I had worked and drank and socialized and was damn good friends with a guy close to my age since 1980. Three years ago this past September he sat in a closet in his front room and blew his brains out with a shotgun. He was in debt, he was going through a divorce, and he was takiing anti depressants when he felt like he needed them.
I was so pissed at him at his funeral when his 12 year old grand daughter got up to speak that I didn't think I'd ever forgive him. It only took a few months to get that straight in my dayum head.

So before I say something heartless I'll shut up, but it ain't all somebody else or something else's fault. Sometimes it is a flaw in character. So flame me all yoiu want but I ain't saying its always that, just sometimes. And sometimes you have to accept that your very best friends and loved ones are flawed, simple as that.

BKB

[Arty]

Barry I think you are 100% correct in your statements. I do NOT think that applies to 100% of the cases, but whole heartedly agree with your opinion. I really think that some people are, well, "wired wrong from the factory". I don't say that light hearted or as a joke. I think some are born with a propensity to head in that direction at the drop of a hat.
That said, I do not remember the cases of teenagers committing suicide when I was growing up. I'll be 40 in April, and it seems the last 7-10 years is when you really started hearing about this kind of stuff. Maybe the internet has brought it more to the forefront. I mean hell 25 years ago this incident wouldn't have been known past Loudon county other than through the gossip mill.

Or- maybe we've got something else going on in society that we haven't figured out yet. I don't know.

I do know a LOT of unhappy and depressed kids. I hear about them every day from my boys.
It saddens me, and quite honestly it worries me. I lose sleep over this kind of stuff, I really do. I hope and pray my boys turn out OK. Seems nowadays any child regardless of race, class, or gender can turn to the dark side rather quickly.
I just hug them a lot more every time I hear about something like this. Because I don't know what else to do.


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[BarryBobPosthole]

I believe with all my heart that depression is at times over diagnosed. Either that or the treatment for it is bungled and we do almost as much harm with anti depressants as we do fixing people. Its the rise of that class of antidepressants that has paralleled the rise of suicides in all age groups. And it never ceases to amaze me how fast parents are to drug their kids to try to fix issues that need to be dealt with by love and care. In short, better living through modern chemistry is bullshit.

This is all just observation. I've know three suicides now in my close circle where the person was taking antidepressants.

BKB

[Arty]

Two comments on this.
1) we strongly considered ADD medication for my oldest son when he was younger. He was wild, not bad - just wild. He had (maybe even has) some slight symptoms of either ADD or Aspergers). Never had him tested. My wife was and is in the field of education and she basically said, "if we have him tested, they will recommend medication. Even if they aren't sure. Medication will be the answer". So - The only reason we did not.... was fear of what the medication may bring later on in life. Good decision? We'll see. He's a good kid. And that's what we focus on.


2) Someone I'm very close to, let's just say I love him like a "brother", and that I've known him since I was born. He just recently (6 months ago) went through a LOT of shit. He ended up seeing a doctor who gave him 2 different meds to deal with his depression and anxiety. It worried me, also relieved me. He was in a dark place, and rightfully so. About 2 months in on the medication I start getting texts at 2AM-3AM-4AM from him. Usually they'd be short, like "I love you". Or "just wanted to say you're my best friend". Weird shit like that. I'd call him early the next morning and he would act fine. If I mentioned the text from the night before he would just say he couldn't sleep and he would brush it off.
He told me last month when we were together that he stopped taking his meds and he feels better. I asked him why. He said that the anti-depressants actually made him think about suicide. He said he would sit in his chair in his living room and have real thoughts like (these are his words!) "my life and everyone's life would be great if I shoved a .45 in my mouth". And he would actually think of other ways in his mind to end it all.
My jaw hit the floor when he told me that. Prior to seeing a doctor he was depressed, had anxiety, was sad... but never truly had suicidal thoughts. That FUCKING medicine COULD have been the end for him.

I think modern medicine in the mental health world has its place, but everyone's mind is different. And if you put the wrong combo together, it can be baaaaad stuff.




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[BarryBobPosthole]

Its (antidepressants) probably something that could be effective with real controlled application. Unfortunately, life ain't very controlled.

BKB

[LJ3]

I don't take any exceptions to your thoughts, BBP. From my experience, anti-depressants make people generally not give a shit about anything. The science behind most of them is so inexact it should frighten us all.

Some suicides are part of a flaw in the person. Sometimes it's a real life mental illness that's as real as any physical ailment. In any case all it does is hurt and anger people that love you

[Thumper]

Well, I guess there's a flip side to every scenario. I haven't talked about it much here, but I think I mentioned all the meetings with the shrinks at the VA back in August when I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. Since that time, I've been on anti-depressants. They started out with a super low dose, then monitored my progress very closely as they made adjustments on the dosage. Things have pretty much stabilized and I have another appointment with my main shrink on Friday (12/23) to see where I'm at. According to Lynn, I'm a different person now ... (in a GOOD way). I have noticed that not many things bother me anymore ... things that before, I'd normally stress out about.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Good! Just take them when you're supposed to and don't ever stop taking them unless they tell you to and how. The people I knew hated taking them and only took them until they felt better and then stopped. I think it was the way they were using them as much as what they were that caused their problems.

My wife says I'm turning into an old curmudgeon. Wonder how long till she has me on pills?

BKB

[airbud7]

Don't worry Barry...one good day of fishing and your good to go again!...you don't need no stinking pills!


Edit: in fact I would bet if these young folk today would get out to the great outdoors and hunt/fish/camp out over night instead of worrying about what's on social media they would be a lot better off mentally and physically.

[LJ3]

Good! Just take them when you're supposed to and don't ever stop taking them unless they tell you to and how. The people I knew hated taking them and only took them until they felt better and then stopped. I think it was the way they were using them as much as what they were that caused their problems.

My wife says I'm turning into an old curmudgeon. Wonder how long till she has me on pills?

BKB

Check your breakfast more closely. She may already have you on them.

[HideHunter]

Tough deal. Little gal who used to work for me just went through a scare with one of her kids. He takes some prescription medicine so haven't heard yet if the od was accidental.