I Can't Do Anything Right

[BarryBobPosthole]

So my wife has been after me to give her some hints for a Christmas present for me. I don't really need anything, I don't really want anything, and to be honest I'd rather her blow it on some toy for the grands. Hopefully one that doen't make racket or need batteries or have sharp edges that I can step on in the dark. Basically that hasn't changed in 20 or so years.

So this year I told her I did have a wish for a Christmas present. I want a really cool steering wheel 'suicide' knob, sometimes known as a 'Brodie'. She looked at me like an angus bull at a white faced calf. WTF? After 20 years I finally ask for something and get blown off like its crazy.

BKB

[Chicken Dinner]

Just tell her to get you what she thinks you need if that's how it's going to be. I'm thinking that ought to go well.

My wife and I agreed not to get each other anything other than stocking stuffers and a gift from the kids as we broke the bank this year on our European vacation and redoing the basement. I'm a little nervous that she won't follow through and I'm going to get left standing there with my dick in my hand Christmas morning when she give me something. I've confirmed it with her again as late a last Friday, but every time she agrees to it I keep seeing this image in my mind of Admiral Ackbar saying, "It's trap!"

[LJ3]

So my wife has been after me to give her some hints for a Christmas present for me. I don't really need anything, I don't really want anything, and to be honest I'd rather her blow it on some toy for the grands. Hopefully one that doen't make racket or need batteries or have sharp edges that I can step on in the dark. Basically that hasn't changed in 20 or so years.

So this year I told her I did have a wish for a Christmas present. I want a really cool steering wheel 'suicide' knob, sometimes known as a 'Brodie'. She looked at me like an angus bull at a white faced calf. WTF? After 20 years I finally ask for something and get blown off like its crazy.

BKB

We used to have a very politically insensitive name for those knobs :)

They are illegal in VA now.

[quercus alba]

We used to have a very politically insensitive name for those knobs :)

They are illegal in VA now.

Like that narrows it down. Every thing is politically insensitive now.

My wife and I pick out what we want and let the other one give it to us. Works great

[LJ3]

I've heard them called African-american knobs.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Actually this kind of has a Thump story behind it. My truck will be three years old this April. I've driven it to Canada twice, once pulling my boat and now across the country to the Carolinas, all 1000mi+ trips. It has to be the sweetest road/highway ride I've ever had the pleasure of driving. My buddy Paul calls it the Millenium Falcon. It just might be.

One thing I noticed on the way home this last trip. I drive with my left elbow on the arm rest or window sill with the steering wheel between two fingers and thumb on my left hand. I noticed a little fatigue there after several hours and thought, you know a friggin' knob to just rest your hand on there would be perfect. And I could turn left or right with just one hand.

So I'm needing a knob.

BKB

[LJ3]

...So I'm needing a knob...BKB

That's what she said.

[BarryBobPosthole]

http://www.suicideknob.net/state_laws.html

[LJ3]

That's very innersting seeing as the person who told me they're illegal is a Va State Boy. Weird. Of course, he told me this on a night where we were having a competition on who could blow the highest BAC% on his meter :)

[BarryBobPosthole]

It could have changed since that was posted. Not sure why the anti-suicide knob lobby would consider it worthy of the legislature's time but when you consider the time spent on where we poop and pee I guess it makes perfect sense.

Bkb

[Bwana]

Around here we put those things on tractors, never seen one on a road vehicle before.

[LJ3]

They come in right handy when you're driving a boat and pulling inexperienced skiers behind you. Lots of fast U turns involved there.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Yup, I'm a gonna get one for my boat too.

BKB

[airbud7]

Dadburnit!...Now I want one...:banghead

[BarryBobPosthole]

I know! They're handy as a pocket on a shirt!

BKB

[Thumper]

As a kid growing up in the 50's (and early 60's I think), most everybody had one'a those brodie (brody?) knobs! They usually had a pic of some half-nekkid pin-up model in 'em.


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/3c/fb/f9/3cfbf9f0c58deb3527a68a7ad9eccc53.jpg

[Trav]

That's very innersting seeing as the person who told me they're illegal is a Va State Boy. Weird. Of course, he told me this on a night where we were having a competition on who could blow the highest BAC% on his meter :)

I hope that's not a euphemism for a rainbow themed night you two had.

[Thumper]

Does "highest BAC" mean "the most stoned, Bitch-Ass Cop"? ;)

[LJ3]

He had an unfair advantage. He goes about 6'9" and 330lbs. Takes a LOT to get that boy drunk!

And Bite me, Trav!

[Trav]

You lob up a softball about blowing on a guys meter and I am going to hit out of the park. I could have let it go but I couldn't live with myself.

[Thumper]

Meter??? I thought he just misspelled "meater". ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

Was it at a Cat Fanciers party?
BKB

[Trav]

A feline might be as close to pussy as those 2 fellas want to get from the sounds of it.

[Captain]

You NEED. A De-lier set of fishing scales so you can't pretend to catch the biggest fish by long-arming it...
I know now how Keith must feel....

[BarryBobPosthole]

Its your tiny little Trump hands that made your fish look bigger. BKB

[Captain]

I got your Trump hand right here.
8305

[Thumper]

Were you layin' on the couch? If not, I have a certain sister's phone number if you need it. ;)

[Captain]

Posting while drunk...