Thumper
02-24-2017, 03:54 PM
CAPTAIN AND THE GORILLA
A small zoo in North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keepers thought of Larke Plyler, better known as Captain, a redneck, ex-COP. Captain, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species (or so he says). The Zoo Keepers thought they might have a solution.
Captain was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Captain showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
"First", Captain said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Head Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The Head Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", he said, "you can't never tell nobody about this." Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
And last, Captain said,
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"I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00." :D
A small zoo in North Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keepers thought of Larke Plyler, better known as Captain, a redneck, ex-COP. Captain, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species (or so he says). The Zoo Keepers thought they might have a solution.
Captain was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Captain showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
"First", Captain said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Head Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The Head Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
"Third", he said, "you can't never tell nobody about this." Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
And last, Captain said,
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
"I'm gonna need another week to come up with the $500.00." :D