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BarryBobPosthole
04-29-2017, 11:00 AM
I have to admit to embellishing some things, especially to youngsters in camp. I remember once my nephew was picking up daddy long legs and flipping them in the fire. I told him a big yarn (that an uncle once told me) that they were the most poisonous spiders in Oklahoma but they couldn't bite you because they don't have fangs. And I went on to tell him about wardens finding five dead hunters in their camp years ago and it was a big mystery until one of the investigators found three daddy long legs had crawled up in their coffeepot. Killed them all dead right where they were sitting.
Since our coffeepot was sitting on a rock by the fire, that stopped that shit in a hurry.

That one and the one about snakes crawling up in your sleeping bag to get warm always made them nervous.

BKB

Big Muddy
04-29-2017, 11:43 AM
There was a movie, years ago, about some researchers who were camped out in the jungle, and a viper slithered into one of their sleeping bags....the whole day'um movie was centered on the guy, just laying there in his sleeping bag, and the others just standing around, wringing their hands....boring as sheeit, and don't even remember how it ended.

airbud7
04-29-2017, 12:48 PM
I kissed an ugly girl and she give me cooties....good ass pussy though/.....Dam she was ugly though.

Big Muddy
04-29-2017, 12:59 PM
Ha, Abud, the ugly ones always do....they really appreciate the attention, more than the good-looking ones. ;)

Big Muddy
04-29-2017, 08:24 PM
.
Sorta like the girl on the right, here....I bet she was chubby kid. ;)



8881

Thumper
04-30-2017, 09:36 AM
Ha, Abud, the ugly ones always do....they really appreciate the attention, more than the good-looking ones. ;)

I wouldn't know! ;)

Thumper
04-30-2017, 09:43 AM
....good ass pussy though.....

Ummmm, what's "ass pussy"? You're not into donkey's are you?? ;)

BarryBobPosthole
04-30-2017, 09:59 AM
I guess politics and cussing are off limits but not this?

Another myth that existed when I was a kid was I think I had a rabbit's foot in my pocket from about age 5 until I was 8 or 9. Then I had one on my first key chain at 16. These days you'd prolly make the front page of CNN if you took a rabbits foot to school with you.

BKB

airbud7
04-30-2017, 10:11 AM
.
Sorta like the girl on the right, here....I bet she was chubby kid. ;)



8881

Hey...she looks familiar in that position...:D

Thumper
04-30-2017, 10:21 AM
That one and the one about snakes crawling up in your sleeping bag to get warm always made them nervous. BKB

That reminds me of a Thump story! My buddy who goes to the estate sales with me (we've been friends since we were 6-7 years old), used to camp in the backyard almost every weekend. We'd usually do a little fishing in the evening, get some sleep, then get back up around 5:00 am, grab our fishing gear and head back down to the lake for some more fishing. His dad was a huge practical joker and was always messing with us when he had a chance. The classic involved a ghost at deer camp ... but that's a whole 'nuther story. (my buddy says, to this day, that's the most scared he's been in his life!) Anyway, this particular night, we'd gone to do a little bit of fishing, then returned to camp to get some sleep before heading back out in the morning.

Now, my buddy has always been a bit of a slob (still is!), so it was just normal procedure when he climbed into his sleeping bag. (The only light we had, at that point, was the glow of the camp fire) He started to slip into his sleeping bag and after a foot or two, he felt something with his feet, pulled it out and it was a pair of old dirty socks. He throws them aside and slips in a little more. He felt something else, pulls it out with his toes and it's a candy wrapper or potato chip bag or sumpin'. He continues down and every foot or so, he'd pull out some piece of dirty clothing or trash. After he'd gotten his feet down to the bottom of the bag and was finally completely inside the thing, he felt something else. I remember it like it was just yesterday, he had this perplexed look on his face and said, "WTF is this?" He wriggled around a bit and said, "It feels cold .... and wet". After a few more seconds he screamed, "IT'S MOVING"!!!! At this point came my most vivid memory of that night. The last thing I saw was him RUNNING at approximately Mach 1.5, still fully engulfed by his sleeping bag! Now, mind you, to make matters worse, our sleeping bags were old military surplus mummy bags, so peeling one off while screaming like a little girl and running at full speed, was an almost impossible feat!

Once he finally managed to extricate himself, we cautiously dumped the terror causing culprit out of the bag. We found out later, while we were down by the lake fishing, his dad tip-toed into our camp and slipped a big ol' live bullfrog into my buddy's sleeping bag! Ha ha ha ha! To this day, I still bring that up from time to time and it STILL gives him the willies! :D

DeputyDog
04-30-2017, 10:22 AM
I wouldn't know! ;)

Because that's what the wimmens said about you. ;)


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Thumper
04-30-2017, 10:34 AM
I guess politics and cussing are off limits but not this?

Another myth that existed when I was a kid was I think I had a rabbit's foot in my pocket from about age 5 until I was 8 or 9. Then I had one on my first key chain at 16. These days you'd prolly make the front page of CNN if you took a rabbits foot to school with you. BKB

Ha! I'd forgotten about my old rabbit's foot! Heck, I think I had 2-3 of them actually, all different colors! That's is odd and something i never really thought about. Nowadays, if you walked into your local hardware store (that's where I bought mine) and they had a rack of rabbit's feet on the counter, PETA would be all over their ass!

I wonder if kids these days even know the significance of a rabbit's foot key-chain in your pocket?

BarryBobPosthole
04-30-2017, 10:39 AM
Ha! I'd forgotten about my old rabbit's foot! Heck, I think I had 2-3 of them actually, all different colors! That's is odd and something i never really thought about. Nowadays, if you walked into your local hardware store (that's where I bought mine) and they had a rack of rabbit's feet on the counter, PETA would be all over their ass!

I wonder if kids these days even know the significance of a rabbit's foot key-chain in your pocket?

My grandson JJ just got his first rabbits foot. His Mom won't let him take it to school though.
BKB

BarryBobPosthole
04-30-2017, 10:42 AM
That reminds me of a Thump story! My buddy who goes to the estate sales with me (we've been friends since we were 6-7 years old), used to camp in the backyard almost every weekend. We'd usually do a little fishing in the evening, get some sleep, then get back up around 5:00 am, grab our fishing gear and head back down to the lake for some more fishing. His dad was a huge practical joker and was always messing with us when he had a chance. The classic involved a ghost at deer camp ... but that's a whole 'nuther story. (my buddy says, to this day, that's the most scared he's been in his life!) Anyway, this particular night, we'd gone to do a little bit of fishing, then returned to camp to get some sleep before heading back out in the morning.

Now, my buddy has always been a bit of a slob (still is!), so it was just normal procedure when he climbed into his sleeping bag. (The only light we had, at that point, was the glow of the camp fire) He started to slip into his sleeping bag and after a foot or two, he felt something with his feet, pulled it out and it was an pair of old dirty socks. He throws them aside and slips in a little more. He felt something else, pulls it out with his toes and it's a candy wrapper or potato chip bag or sumpin'. He continues down and every foot or so, he'd pull out some piece of dirty clothing or trash. After he'd gotten his feet down to the bottom of the bag and was finally completely inside the thing, he felt something else. I remember it like it was just yesterday, he had this perplexed look on his face and said, "WTF is this?" He wriggled around a bit and said, "It feels cold .... and wet". After a few more seconds he screamed, "IT'S MOVING"!!!! At this point came my most vivid memory of that night. The last thing I saw was him RUNNING at approximately Mach 1.5, still fully engulfed by his sleeping bag! Now, mind you, to make matters worse, our sleeping bags were old military surplus mummy bags, so peeling one off while screaming like a little girl and running at full speed, was an almost impossible feat!

Once he finally managed to extricate himself, we cautiously dumped the terror causing culprit out of the bag. We found out later, while we were down by the lake fishing, his dad tip-toed into our camp and slipped a big ol' live bullfrog into my buddy's sleeping bag! Ha ha ha ha! To this day, I still bring that up from time to time and it STILL gives him the willies! :D

Hahahaha, my step grandpa was the same kind of practical joker. Good one!

BKb

airbud7
04-30-2017, 10:48 AM
yea hahaha good one Thumper! :D

Thumper
04-30-2017, 06:11 PM
My buddy's dad (mentioned above) could be a real ass at times, but other times he was pretty cool. He LOVED Halloween and would always dress up like a monster of some sort. He'd then hide in the bushes somewhere close to the house and jump out to scare all the kids in the neighborhood as they walked down the sidewalk. I think there were many, many little Halloween costumes that had to have the crap cleaned out of them after he did that.

Every Christmas morning, he'd call all the houses in the neighborhood who had young kids and pretend to be Santa Clause. He'd talk about how tired he was from delivering presents all night and ask the kids if they were happy with what he gave them. I was the oldest and knew what was going on, but my little brothers and sisters were always totally amazed that they got a phone call from the North Pole on Christmas morning!

HideHunter
05-01-2017, 10:27 AM
All my adult life, I have carried a buckeye in my pocket.. because my great-grandfather did. Said it was good for his rheumatism.. Works, too - I don't have any.. just a little arthritis.. ;)

LJ3
05-01-2017, 10:32 AM
I guess politics and cussing are off limits but not this?
BKB

NOTHING... and I mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G is off limits on this site. That's kinda the whole purpose of this site.

My $.02, anyhoo.

BarryBobPosthole
05-01-2017, 10:48 AM
All my adult life, I have carried a buckeye in my pocket.. because my great-grandfather did. Said it was good for his rheumatism.. Works, too - I don't have any.. just a little arthritis.. ;)

I don't carry one in my pocket, but I've kept one on my desk for many years.

BKB

8885

LJ3
05-01-2017, 10:54 AM
Capo, pocket knife, guitar polish, superglue, arrowheads and a gay ass kinkaid painting. That right there is what we call an eclectic mix of stuff.

HideHunter
05-01-2017, 10:57 AM
The buckeyes always get a real once-over in airports.. had several ask what it was..

BarryBobPosthole
05-01-2017, 11:02 AM
Capo, pocket knife, guitar polish, superglue, arrowheads and a gay ass kinkaid painting. That right there is what we call an eclectic mix of stuff.

I'm a complicated kind of guy.

And I'll have you know my wife got me that Kincaid for my work desk back when we were going through the Bernie bankruptcy. At the time, our entire retirement plan was wipedout. It was her way of remind me of what wewere working so hard for. So yeah, it has some sentimental value. Now do you feel like a turd?

BKB

Thumper
05-01-2017, 11:11 AM
What keeps that stuff from sliding off your desk? ;)

quercus alba
05-01-2017, 11:18 AM
I carried a buckeye for luck. Went two years without pulling the trigger. Threw it away and killed an eight point the next morning. Deer musta not known it was me without the buckeye

LJ3
05-01-2017, 02:08 PM
I'm a complicated kind of guy.

And I'll have you know my wife got me that Kincaid for my work desk back when we were going through the Bernie bankruptcy. At the time, our entire retirement plan was wipedout. It was her way of remind me of what wewere working so hard for. So yeah, it has some sentimental value. Now do you feel like a turd?

BKB

No and it still makes you a little gay. A little LESS gay than before, more like just an occasional wrist angle problem.

DeputyDog
05-01-2017, 10:11 PM
Capo, pocket knife, guitar polish, superglue, arrowheads and a gay ass kinkaid painting. That right there is what we call an eclectic mix of stuff.

And that handy dandy spring he's saving just in case he ever needs a good one.


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Captain
05-02-2017, 08:05 AM
And that handy dandy spring he's saving just in case he ever needs a good one.
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He's gonna use that spring on his new grease strainer.

BarryBobPosthole
05-03-2017, 08:41 AM
I think that spring came from an old fashioned double bottom defecator.

BKB

Thumper
05-03-2017, 08:54 AM
I think that spring came from an old fashioned double bottom defecator. BKB

Do you use cane or beets? Wouldn't the juice come out as a super thick syrup without the spring? ;)

airbud7
05-03-2017, 09:03 AM
thats a spring from a modulator muffler bearing.

Thumper
05-03-2017, 09:20 AM
thats a spring from a modulator muffler bearing.

Sorry A/B, you STILL need some work on your noticer abilities. Take a closer look at that spring. If you were an expert noticer, you could plainly see that particular spring is for a dual exhaust system and will fit ONLY a LEFT side muffler bearing modulator. You need to be more specific to acquire full G/H Noticer Status. ;)

HideHunter
05-03-2017, 09:55 AM
If you had an old hen you could make a spring chicken..

BarryBobPosthole
05-03-2017, 10:31 AM
If you had an old hen you could make a spring chicken..

As a lover of puns, this is outstanding.

BKB

airbud7
05-03-2017, 11:44 AM
Spring is just around the corner
http://www.dailyfailcentral.com/sites/default/files/fail/aNn97L6_700b_v1.jpg