Okay, I'll try again.....Tuesday funny.....

[Big Muddy]

"""The coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand what co-operation is? What a team is?"
"Yes sir, Coach", replied the boy.
"Do you understand that what matters is we win or lose as a team?"
The boy nodded in yes.
The coach continued, "I'm sure you know that when an out is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head, dickhead or asshole. Do you understand all that?"
Again, the young player nodded yes.
"And, when I take you out of the game so that another boy gets a chance to play too, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach a Dumbass or a Shithead, is it?"
"NO SIR, Coach."
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all of that to your Grandmother!!"""

[DeputyDog]

A young boy went to his dad and asked him if he knew the difference between theory and reality. The dad says, "I sure do. Go ask your mom if she would sleep with a random stranger for 1 million dollars." The boy goes and asks the mom.

He comes back and tells his dad that mom said that she would. The dad then tells him to ask his sister the same thing. He does and comes back with the same answer.

Dad tells him, "In theory we are sitting on two million dollars, in reality, we live with a couple of whores."


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[Big Muddy]

Good 'urn, Ddog. ;)

[LJ3]

Much better Eddie! And that is pretty dang funny DDawg.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Its better, but.....


BKB

[BarryBobPosthole]

Now THIS is funny.

BKB

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'
His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'
A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'
After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'
Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'
Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.
He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'
The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides
��

[HideHunter]

Prostitute thought "easy money" when the 90 year old man walked into her room. An hour later she had experienced the greatest ride of her life. She asked the old timer if he thought maybe he could do that again?

"I can," he said.. but I'll need a 20 minute nap and you'll have to hold my balls up off the sheet." Dutifully, she complied and was once again rewarded with the best sex ever.

When the man reached to pay, she said "Forget the money, Sir.. but I have to know. I can understand the nap - but why did I have to hold your balls up off the sheet?"

"Because", he said, "I didn't want some two-bit whore going though my pockets while I slept."

[Big Muddy]

Bingo, kudos to Hide !!!.....give that man a ceegar !!! ;)

[Thumper]

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend and she was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200 mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

As he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, he lost control, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried.

"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The proprietor looked down at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do ma'am ... he's in way too far." :huh

[Big Muddy]

Pretty good one, too....I'll give you 2nd place, behind Hide. ;)

[airbud7]

Y'all were on a good roll yesterday....My vote goes to Barry, that was a funny ass football game!