Monday morning humor....The Grumpy Pharmacist.....

[Big Muddy]

The Grumpy Pharmacist

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this
morning on the phone.
I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the chemist and
demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, - - - -

"Just a minute, listen to my side of it.
This morning my alarm clock failed to go off, so I was late getting up.
I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that
I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to
break a window to get my keys."

"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket.
Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."

"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me
to open. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people,
all the time the darn phone was ringing."

He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor.
I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was
still ringing.
When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it.
Half of them hit the floor and broke."

"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.
It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer."

"Believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

[BarryBobPosthole]

Pharmacists are, as a rule, the biggest assholes in the universe. The one exception was our ‘family pharmacist’, Charlie Lyons, who ran Lyons Drug Store in my hometown. If any of us got sick, my parents never called a doctor, they called Charlie. And most of the times ran by his pharmacy to get whatever he’d prescribed for us.
And now a Thump story. When I was in third grade I almost died from the measles. My fever was hellish high and wouldn’t break for several days. I can still remember some of the hallucinations I had. Like the cuckoo clock turning into two roosters and fighting with itself. Strange and scary. My folks called Charlie Lyons and he diagnosed me over the phone. He said i had the measles and my fever wouldn’t break until the bumps popped out on me. Up to that point I had like two measle bumps. So he sent my baptist preacher step Dad to the liquor store for a half pint of whiskey and after they dosed me with two or three shots of it, they dumped me in a tub of steaming hot water and then ice cold water. In only a few hours I was covered with measles and my fever had broken.
Charlie also made a mean blt at his drug store counter.

True story.

BKb

[Big Muddy]

I got a new pharmacist who is a single, good-looking 28 year old young lady.....she's hotter than a peppered house cat !!!.....come to think of it, my new barber fits that same description. ;)

[Thumper]

Yep, when I was a kid, if any of us got sick, we'd call our family doctor (Dr. Townsend) and he'd show up at the front door with his black bag ... and I don't mean a back-woods country doctor, we lived in downtown Orlando. We had 4-digit phone numbers back then, in fact I still remember our home phone number (6292) and my grandparent's (mom's parents) number (3839). I can't recall my other grandparent's number, but if I think about it long enough, I'd probably remember. To make a long distance call, we had to call the operator. If it was a pay phone, the operator would tell us how much money (coins only) to insert to make the call. Each coin had a different "ding" when it dropped through so she could tell by the sound, how much we'd inserted. Speaking of, my mom was a telephone operator when I was a kid. My grandparents had a party line with two other people on the line. If ANY of the people on the party line received a phone call, it would ring in all three houses, but each ring was different . Example: Three shorts rings, one long ring and a short and one long ring. I think you could have up to 5-6 households on a party line ... all with different rings so you'd know who the call was meant for when the phone rang. As kids. we couldn't resist picking up the receiver and listening in on whomever was on the line at the time. ;)

Regarding the pharmacist, same with us. I can't remember his first name because it was always Mr. Thayer to me, but he had Thayer's Drug Store (there's a 3-4 story office building there now) and he'd handle most of the family's medical problems. We'd only call Dr. Townsend if things were a bit more serious. BTW, Thayer's was one block down from the theater where we'd walk to for the Saturday Afternoon Matinee ... we'd get in by "paying" with six RC Cola bottle caps (Mr. Schweitzer at the corner Sinclair gas station would save the caps for us when he'd clean out his nickel coke (soda) machine). As we'd leave the house, Mom would give us a dime for popcorn and a soft drink. I saw a LOT of cowboy and Alfred Hitchcock movies on those Saturday afternoons. That was the Vogue Theater back then, but there's a large Walgreen's Drug Store there now. :(