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View Full Version : Monday, ummmmm ... funny(?)



Thumper
09-17-2018, 08:16 AM
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.

One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."

The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys How did you come up with such a high figure? ”

"The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked. ;)

Chicken Dinner
09-17-2018, 09:52 AM
My contribution to the Monday blahs...

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20180917/c85d3bcd30fd8168407a86a7747dc11f.jpg


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

quercus alba
09-17-2018, 10:44 AM
10244

Thumper
09-17-2018, 12:31 PM
10246

quercus alba
09-18-2018, 09:22 AM
10247


How many of you sci-fi geeks get this?

johnboy
09-18-2018, 10:45 AM
It was in an episode of the original Star Trek.

LJ3
09-18-2018, 11:08 AM
IN WINTER!!!

quercus alba
09-18-2018, 11:23 AM
Next generation with Picard. Kirk wouldn't have figured it out. He have jump kicked a couple of guys then had sex with a beautiful alien woman

I knew I could count on Len

johnboy
09-18-2018, 01:30 PM
Yeah, Picard. I remember it as pretty hokey so I automatically thought of Kirk.

BarryBobPosthole
09-18-2018, 02:44 PM
Any thoughts on Star Trek Discovery?

BKB

quercus alba
09-18-2018, 03:32 PM
I've never heard of it till you mentioned it just now. I'm kinda OCD about things like that, I like things orderly. All these prequels and sequels don't do it for me.

johnboy
09-19-2018, 12:05 AM
I tried a few episodes when it first came out but never got into it and quit watching. Seemed kind 'forced', if you know what I mean.

BarryBobPosthole
09-19-2018, 09:33 AM
I watched it until CBS moved it over to their streaming app, then took a break from it as they got a lot of neeve charging for broadcast tv. Found it on my jailbroke stuff and watched the whole series. It got better as the characters got more developed but never got to ‘great’ at any time in the season. The series does have some promise but I have no idea if it got renewed or not. I’ll prolly watch it if they do but I wouldn’t pay for it.
The sci fi series that I think is the best to come along in a long time is The Expanse. Its moving to Amazon for its season 4 and I think it’ll be even better. I’m so disappointed in the sci fi channel. may as well be the teen horror channel because that’s about all they show. Even Krypton, which had promise, sucks.

BKB

johnboy
09-19-2018, 02:39 PM
One you might try, if you haven't already, is 'Altered Carbon' on Netflix. Loved it.