PDA

View Full Version : Anatomy of a fucked up day!



Thumper
04-16-2021, 05:20 PM
Well, I woke up this morning ready to head to the beach for a nice 3-day weekend. Time to clear my head. BUT, I get a message this morning that a package that was supposed to arrive next week, is being delivered today! No biggie, I'll print out a note and tape it to the door instructing the driver to deliver it to my next door neighbor. Ok, we get the car loaded up, we're ready to go and I get a text that the package has been delivered! HUH?? Ummmm, I've been in the driveway loading the car ... I haven't seen a FedEx truck and there's no package here. I know it didn't go to my neighbor because we're on a cul-de-sac and there's no way I'd miss the truck. I'm on my phone trying to find the number to call FedEx and I see a FedEx truck drive by the main entrance on the way out of the subdivision. On a hunch, I hop in the car and cruise down the street until I spot a package on a neighbor's porch. I park, sneak up the walkway and glance at the address sticker. It's MY frigging package! I snagged it and headed home ... all the time hoping they don't have a Ring Camera and think I'm stealing a package off their porch. I would have knocked, but I know these people work.

Ok, I'm back home, we're loaded up and I decide to pee before hitting the road. I flush the toilet and it doesn't go down the drain! WTF ... I didn't take a dump so I blamed Lynn! ;) I grab the plunger and plungeplungeplunge! Nada ... still plugged. WTF? I plunge a bazillion more times ... still plugged. This is getting weird. I'm thinking maybe the main drain line from the house plugged up somehow. I turn on the bathtub water full blast ... it drains fine. It HAS to be the toilet. I go to the garage and grab my snake. I try stuffing it down the drain and it'll only go about a foot in. It's a newer, low volume toilet and it looks like it has so many sharp gooseneck type curves, the snake just won't bend enough to negotiate the bends. I plunge some more ... flush ... nada ... it ain't going nowhere! Now this wouldn't be so bad, because we still have the upstairs bathroom, BUT ..... I'm installing a new toilet up there and they (Lowes) had to order a new one. I bought the replacement and when they brought it to me, it was cracked. No biggie, we have the "back-up downstairs". I've already sent the old toilet to the dump, so we just have the drain covered awaiting the replacement. Ok, F-it! We're headed for the beach! I'll deal with this when I get home Sunday night. (prolly a bad idea, but I was tired of f-ing with it and we're REALLY running late now).

We jump in the car and head for Ft. Myers. About 30 miles out of town (in the middle of nowhere), I hear an odd "rumbling" noise in the rear of the car .... then I notice the low tire light come on on the dash. Shit, shit, shit, shit! I haven't had a frigging flat in probably 50 years (except when I was driving a semi). I pull over next to a dang cow pasture and sure enough, the RR tire is flat! I check it out and there's a huge chunk of rubber and a big cut right in the center of the tread! That tire is junk! I never saw anything, but obviously ran over something. Ok, I have to empty the cooler, suitcases, laptop, CPAP machine and a pile of little crap onto the side of the road and try to figure out where the spare, jack and all related b/s is located. I find it, but then find out you have to be an Engineering graduate to figure out how to operate all that mess! Ha! It took me a while to find the spare, THEN I couldn't figure out how to get it out of it's hidey-hole! Ridiculous. I finally found the release was hidden behind a snap-in cover in the rear floorboard. What a PITA. Then I thought, "F" this! I have roadside coverage through AmEx, I'll just call them and take a nap while waiting. I called AmEx roadside coverage (which comes with my membership) and received a message that their Roadside Service was discontinued in January 2020! Double WTF??!! I've been a member since nineteen frigging eighty-four and never once needed it ... now that I do ... it's discontinued! F-it! I'll do it myself, we'll continue on our trip and I'll get the tire replaced when we get back. WRONG! I pull the spare and it's a frigging donut! I've got 300 miles of running around planned this weekend (much of it Interstate) ... I ain't gonna do it on a dang donut!

Sooo, I called the hotel to reschedule the reservations for NEXT week ... they're booked solid. DAMN! Ok, they got us in for the weekend of the 30th, so we'll just wait. Oh, I got home and called for the price of the tire ... out the door will be $336.55! Someone just shoot me! Just call me Bucky from now on. :banghead

BarryBobPosthole
04-16-2021, 05:39 PM
Bad luck runs in threes. You oughta be safe to resuyme normal activities now.

BKB

DeputyDog
04-16-2021, 06:05 PM
But he’s back at home with no toilet.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

BarryBobPosthole
04-16-2021, 06:15 PM
I’m sure he’s squatted over a benjo ditch. He can hit the hole in the floor if he needs to.

BKB

Thumper
04-16-2021, 06:23 PM
Got home, did a test flush and it works fine. I guess there was a big ‘ol lump of coal in there that dissolved with time. Who knows? Just another source of my high blood pressure.

Arty
04-16-2021, 09:21 PM
But he’s back at home with no toilet.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

And he left out the part where he ate 4 octopi at the sushi place on the way home. He’s crowning!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk