Weekend humor

[DeputyDog]

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[BarryBobPosthole]

I love Calvin and Hobbes. I used to buy my son a C&H book every birthday and Christmas for a long time. One of the first books he read himself!
I wonder if....

BKB

[quercus alba]

this is a Postholer classic. Probably more relevant to us today than when it was first posted


A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor
comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you
probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway.
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your
penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I
understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is
something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before
and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher
before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be
disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?"
"Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor
"We're getting granite counter tops."