Elebbenty Something AnniversaryGoodhunting Limerick Contest [Archive]

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BarryBobPosthole

03-14-2013, 10:13 AM

We'll do a poll to judge the finalists.

BKB

Here's my first submission.....for a resident irishman no less

There once was a man named McGill,
Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,
He insisted on habits,
involving white rabbits,
and a bird with a flexible bill.

Buckrub

03-14-2013, 10:35 AM

A guy further west is named Posthole
Has awareness not unlike that of-a Mole
It's Civics he flunked
Smart guys he has punked
His politics are down in a deep hole

The other direction is a Thump
His face is like a nuclear dump
but trinkets he can find
by using only his mind
His income now gets quite the Bump

BarryBobPosthole

03-14-2013, 10:36 AM

There's a lot more words that rhyme with Bucky than there is with Posthole, there pal!

BKB

03-14-2013, 12:18 PM

Then there is this site we all read
Made up of Reb's, Yankees and half breeds
Though the discussions stay mild
They can get pretty wild
When Bucky and Posthole take lead

Here our stories are told
From great hunts to favorite fishing holes
But then we have Thump
An old man on a stump
Telling us tales of the junk he has sold.

LJ3

03-14-2013, 12:39 PM

Your souls should be scrubbed hard with Boron,
This, from the mouth of a moron,
You're quite reprehensible,
Quite indispensable,
I'm glad I got my Al Gore-on

Thumper

03-14-2013, 01:15 PM

There's an ugly old fart here named Bucky,
Who's got a big problem that's sucky,
We know he's a dufe,
Wimmins call him a goof,
So it's no wonder he never gets lucky!

LJ3

03-14-2013, 01:16 PM

^^^^ Fail :smash pay attention to the syllables, dufus :)

LJ3

03-14-2013, 01:21 PM

Pony tail quite long and hairy,
Without a shirt he's quite scary.
He ain't quite right,
But still very bright,
We know him and love him as Barry.

Thumper

03-14-2013, 01:23 PM

There's another old fart here named Barry,
Who's face needs to be shaved 'cause it's hairy,
He's as fugly as sin,
Okie dogs call him kin,
And what's worse is we know he's a fairy!

Thumper

03-14-2013, 01:41 PM

Then there's the dude we call Len,
Like Bucky he's fugly as sin,
He's a bass fishing yuppie,
But can't catch a guppy,
A fish-off he'd never win.

Thumper

03-14-2013, 01:55 PM

'Course there's always that ol' man JB,
Who's so tall Cappy comes to his knee,
If Southern he'd be super,
But we know he's a Yooper,
So all he should do is bite me!

Thumper

03-14-2013, 02:00 PM

^^^^ Fail :smash pay attention to the syllables, dufus :)

I have to assume you're talkin' to Bucky. (?)

LJ3

03-14-2013, 02:47 PM

It's pretty clear I'm in the lead here... far more clever than the rest a you dufes.

BarryBobPosthole

03-14-2013, 04:33 PM

There once was a farmer named Eddie
who used Sea Foam to make sure he was ready.
He ate it on his beans,
and put it in his machines,
and even on his wife's favorite teddy.

BKB

Thumper

03-14-2013, 05:40 PM

There's a super-dufe here we call Tic,
Who just loves to drive lickety-split.
He was stopped for a ticket,
Told the cop he could lick-it,
Then got hauled to the jailhouse right quick.

Niner

03-14-2013, 06:27 PM

GoodHunting needed a new home.
Across the ‘net we did roam.
We found a new place,
With gigabyte space
Now we post all day long with aplomb.

Sunshine

03-14-2013, 06:32 PM

Uuum. Niner playing with buttons again.
What's all that stuff? Lol :D

Niner

03-14-2013, 06:50 PM

What choo tawkin' 'bout????

Sunshine

03-14-2013, 07:01 PM

On my phone it shows all the HTML stuff and its about a gazillion lines long. Lol

Arty

03-14-2013, 07:03 PM

This forum has but only one girl
That seems to always be in a whirl
She loves using the comma
And voted for Obama
Poor punctuation makes Bill's hair curl

Sunshine

03-14-2013, 07:06 PM

Lol you are wrong about one thing!

I DID NOT VOTE FOR OBAMA AND NEVER WILL!!! :D

This is what I see with your post:

860

861

And it goes on and on!!!

Arty post is fine:

862

Niner

03-14-2013, 07:40 PM

ODD!!! I typed it up in Word and pasted it here. Looks normal on my confuser.

Let's try 'er again.....

GoodHunting needed a new home.
Across the 'net we did roam.
We found a new place,
With gigabyte space.
Now we post all day with aplomb.

Can ya sees that normal-like Sunny??????

Niner

03-14-2013, 07:42 PM

AND I GOTS NOOOOO IDEA WHAT THEM SMILIES ARE DOING ON MY POST.

Buckrub

03-14-2013, 08:38 PM

Posthole's one about Ed is ahead
Course he's smart, though politically dead
his brain works like silk
if you favor his ilk
But for me, I'm headed to bed

Captain

03-14-2013, 09:26 PM

I see the same thing Sunny is talking about Niner... I noticed it the other day on another thread you did too but did not comment on it.
It is a LONG buncha' stuff
Take Care, Captain

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

Thumper

03-14-2013, 09:34 PM

It's pretty clear I'm in the lead here... far more clever than the rest a you dufes.

While Ticboy dreams of the lead,
I think brain cells he must need,
He believes he's so clever,
With this simple endeavor,
He's clearly been smokin' weed.

Sunshine

03-14-2013, 09:51 PM

865

Yep it's fine!

Niner

03-14-2013, 10:01 PM

Odd. Must be an Apple iPhone thing. I check it on my confuser with Firefox and IE and see no strangeness. I also looked at it with my Droid...all looked normal there too.

That danged George Bush....er I mean Steve Jobs.

Thumper

03-14-2013, 10:02 PM

There's also a dufbutt named Ed,
Who's pecker is totally dead.
Oh he loves Jessie Jackson,
And his cohort Al Sharpton,
Even studies their books in bed.

Thumper

03-14-2013, 10:44 PM

We all know that Tarheel called Larke,
Who now is an old has-been Narc.
He's a real little runt,
And he thinks he can hunt,
But it's rarely he hits his mark.

Buckrub

03-14-2013, 10:55 PM

I'm thinking Thump never played the drums.

Just a wild guess.

Thumper

03-14-2013, 10:58 PM

There is an ol' gal named Sunny,
Who is a sweet little honey,
And she hangs out with us,
Even though we may cuss,
'Cause she thinks we're kinda funny.

Thumper

03-14-2013, 11:00 PM

I'm thinking Thump never played the drums.

Just a wild guess.

I can't help it if you can't find the rhythm. ;)

Buckrub

03-14-2013, 11:02 PM

Oh, I play drums very well, good sir.

Thumper

03-14-2013, 11:10 PM

Don't you mean the skin flute? :D

Later dufe ... I'm hittin' the rack.

BarryBobPosthole

03-14-2013, 11:33 PM

I was starting to worry about what you were goingto rhyme with runt.

BKB

LJ3

03-15-2013, 07:10 AM

I guess we should give Jimmy what is called an MME in the limerick world. Morphine margin of error.

Thumper

03-15-2013, 01:45 PM

Syllables Schmyllables ... I'm the PumPHeAd SysOP ... I can make my own rules! ;)

HideHunter

03-15-2013, 02:15 PM

Thumper and eddie have fits
getting our girl-folks to show us her tits.
But she says "keep your hands
off my mammary glands"
or I'll blacken your eyes with my fists.

Sunshine

03-15-2013, 02:19 PM

Lol good one HideHunter!!
So you musta seen that pic!!

ROTFLMAO

Thumper

03-15-2013, 02:31 PM

Ha ha HH! GOOD one! :D

Gunther

03-15-2013, 03:39 PM

There once was a man named Gus.

He has a really big dick and can drive wimmin wild.

Game, set and match.

LJ3

03-15-2013, 03:47 PM

Dude, No Haiku allowed!

HideHunter

03-15-2013, 03:53 PM

Gunth.. made me laugh out loud.. Good one..

Trav

03-15-2013, 04:34 PM

There was an old man names Gus
a delusional and ornery cus
From behind his horse he drove like a sled
Even though his horse, it was quite dead
And now his pecker is full of pus

Arty

03-15-2013, 05:40 PM

Beer is the liquid of kings
It is the finest of things!
I went two and a months
Without the first sip
But ive been drinking since 4 so fuck it

Buckrub

03-15-2013, 06:00 PM

Do Arty and Trav have the same mother?

Just curious.

Buckrub

03-15-2013, 06:03 PM

I went fishing for 3 days in a row
And I took neither gun nor a bow
but the total is 2
and I'm bluer than blue
For Ed's spots I simply don't know

quercus alba

03-15-2013, 06:50 PM

There once was a feller named Gus
who's dog got mashed by a bus
He said tis a pity
but I've still got my kitty
whom I prefer, so what's the big fuss

quercus alba

03-15-2013, 06:54 PM

There's an okie round here we call Barry
whose girlfriend was both fat and hairy
he broke out his razor
and proceeded to shave her
and discovered she really was Larry

03-15-2013, 07:44 PM

Bucky wanted a 257 on his team
but funds were a little lean
he spoke of his plite
but mama wouldn't bite
so it remains only a dream

03-15-2013, 07:51 PM

We have a guy named fast eddie
and he posts here fairly steady
he's crude as can be
cause off his deck he does pee
but should look before he's ready

BarryBobPosthole

03-15-2013, 09:52 PM

Good one, QA! One of the pitfalls of having an easy name to rhyme.
BKB

quercus alba

03-15-2013, 10:01 PM

Our resident pumphead is named Thumper
if a woman is around he will jump her
between eight and eighty
blind, crippled or crazy
in his dreams he'll still try to hump her

BarryBobPosthole

03-15-2013, 10:02 PM

Best. one. yet.

BKB

quercus alba

03-15-2013, 10:17 PM

Now Larke is well known on this site
and his bark is as big as his bite
but his bark's kinda small
cause he ain't very tall
but we'd never make fun of his height

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 12:03 AM

Now Ed's like his ole buddy Thump
who occasionally gets in a slump
but Eddie's no dope
he's got a goat on a rope
tied up right next to a stump

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 12:06 AM

Now len is much of a man
or so he tells us whenever he can
but on a dark night
a ghost gave him a fright
now he keeps his watch cat close at hand

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 12:20 AM

Now Bucky's an unfortunate chap
he gets lost while reading his map
His lease is all bare
not a feather nor hair
so he went home and took him a nap

that last one was kinda weak, think my creativity has gone south. maybe tomorrow

BarryBobPosthole

03-16-2013, 01:47 AM

I'm about ready to declare QA the champ, poll or no poll.

BKB

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 08:09 AM

Ole Tee Dub's a pretty good guy
but his farts will bring tears to your eye
he once dropped his smoke
and this ain't no joke
he singed all the hair off his thigh

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 08:19 AM

The tundra called out Postholes name
come up here and hunt some big game
before he was thru
he shot the balls off a boo
the boo thought that sure was a shame

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 08:28 AM

Big Sky is a stone cold killer
if a coyote comes by he will driller
but the flu laid him low
and now he can't go
he's laid up in bed on a pillow

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 10:21 AM

Hanks grilled treats really are kicking
bodaciously good finger licking
Sitting there on his rear
with a cold case of beer
it was Hank drunk instead of the chicken

Buckrub

03-16-2013, 10:42 AM

I had NO idea, Vince.

I bow before you. You make want to quit trying.

(Can you fish too??):beer

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 10:48 AM

A handsome young lad, this QA
quite a hit with the ladies they say
with his body so buff
he was really hot stuff
it was hard to keep the women at bay

Buckrub

03-16-2013, 10:54 AM

The Limerick King is QA
He lives way down in L.A.
his memory is shot
his bragging is not
But he pumps 'em out all the day

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 10:55 AM

I do tolerable well fishing, Bucky. Just don't have the time. With a 95 year old dad to care for with his yard and my yard, working full time, teaching two bible classes and trying to squeeze in some time for mama and the boys, don't leave much me time. Right now, I sitting here listening for dad to get up (baby monitor) so I can run over there before he falls. Independant ole cuss. I think I've been three times in the last two years

Buckrub

03-16-2013, 11:08 AM

I understand. I've been over next door to explain to my 85 y/o mother what the letters mean that she gets in the mail.........and to fix her TV........and her phone..........and try to find her another car!!

I went three times this week, out of sheer orneryness. I hadn't been since October. I caught 2 fish, in 3 trips. Boat is put up for now. Life just gets in the way.

BUT.........that was pure sarcasm! I meant, if you can hunt, and cook, and successfully chase women, AND write great Limericks.............I just wondered if you could fish too??!!!!!!

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 11:16 AM

I used to tournament fish a little. Won some lost some, got on a jig fishing kick for a while but my true love is panfishing with a flyrod. Never cared much for trot lines or yoyos or nets

quercus alba

03-16-2013, 11:31 AM

Hidehunter lives up to his name
killing varmints is his acclaim
be it rifle or rod
they all bite the sod
and that is his claim to fame