Buckrub
06-27-2013, 12:52 PM
I have a very big announcement. I've been sitting on this one for a long, long time.
Lots of things happening in my family. Not all are good. But this one is.
I'm gonna be a Grandpa again!!!! WOO HOO
But not in the conventional way.
My daughter in South Carolina........who moved to Charlotte area several years ago, and who found a house and a job because of Captain (and who I still owe big time).........and who had her husband tell her she was not sexy enough, and he left her for another woman..........has been adjusting to her new life and living with my oldest grandson (just turned 20, amazingly!!...who is an EMT there). Well, she is my 'good child' and said that she just had way more room in her heart than she needed (her words) and felt like she needed to do something, so she put in to adopt a developmentally disabled (my words) boy. She had strict criteria as to age (she didn't want a baby or toddler, etc...but no teenagers either). She has had NO hits for a long time and I was getting discouraged. I don't know if she was, if so she hid it well. She said she just kept praying, and trying to follow the rules.
Well she found one. Or the system found her. Whichever.
A ten year old boy.......who was in his 3rd foster home....biological mother a doper, lived on street. He has other natural siblings but hasn't seen them in a while. The foster family he has now is wonderful, but has told him clearly they are not going to be permanent.
Sharon started off with all the mounds of paperwork, background checks, all that......took forever. Absolutely beyond words what you go through. More on that later. But she passed, and she started off driving over to see the boy on weekends. Quite a drive.
Sidebar: I'm not going to get into where he is........or his name..........just yet. I have been through this enough to know that sometimes things backfire........and I don't want someone to make a connection based on an internet chat site, and throw some crazy monkey wrench into the deal. So, as badly as I hate it because I want to shout it all out......I am going to withhold pertinent info for a while yet till this is all final. Sorry.
Anyway, things progressed and Sharon and Michael kept visiting the boy and doing things with him, and finally they told him. He is a little slow in school, behind a bit........but alert and bright and I think will end up somewhat closer to grade-level in his new environment, but it'll take a lot of years. He gets along fine with adults and small kids. He is smitten with Sharon and Michael and all is going well.
Right now, he is scheduled to come live with Sharon and Michael permanently starting sometime in middle or end of July. Those two are coming to visit next week, and if all works out perfectly, they will go get him after that, and he will live with them. Final adoption is months down the road....only after being an official 'foster mom' for x months. This is normal. She has already painted his bedroom, and there are no obvious snags left. There are things left to do, and they are doing them.....paperwork wise.
She got a new teaching job closer to her condo, so she can take him to that school district and be close. It is more rural, smaller, and closer than where she was teaching. So she has a lot of changes in her life now.
It is probably best that the boy get in his new environment and stay..........meaning, better that we go visit him than for him to uproot and drive 14 hours to come see us. He has never been in a car that long, either. So, sometime in probably August we can go see them, and meet him.
There are a lot, a LOT, of things that can cause hiccups along the way, and this schedule be changed. Nothing is in concrete. BUT, it looks like it's going to happen, and I've told my friends and other family, so I thought I'd tell this family too.
Number Six.
WOOO HOOOOO
Now a comment..............
I know about adoption. My parents knew about it first hand. I know about it first hand. Two of my children know about it first hand. This family knows about adoption. We understand what it means to be a parent, and know that it has nothing to do with DNA or 5 minutes of sex. It has to do with commitment. We get it, as much as any family you will encounter, most likely.
And because of that, there is absolutely no single thing on earth that gets my dander up more than the system that makes it so hard to adopt a child. There are ads on TV admonishing us to all go adopt a kid (as if it were like the puppy pound), because there are so many that need it. There are letters and comments from the pro-abortion group about "Well, if you don't like abortion, you need to go adopt some kids". YEAH!!! You're right. AND I'D LOVE TO MAN! But you can't. So many are not adoptable. They are in foster care, or institutions, but their families won't give them up because they are money in the bank. Or other reasons. So they are in permanent limbo.
Then if you do find one that is eligible, it takes an Act of Congress to get him or her. I understand that you have to prove you're not a meth head. I get that. But that should take a week, not 3 years!!!! And the 'system' is manned and staffed with those "Human Services" state employees that I worked with for 20 years..........the ones that can barely find their way home at night, who hate working at all, and do all they can to postpone work, and spend way more effort trying to avoid work than their work would actually be if they did it. Those are the scourges of the earth, and it sickens me. But even past that, the System is truly the one at fault. They make it far harder than it needs to be, for about 2 good reasons, and about 2,000 bad ones. Get out of the way, and things will happen. Government is awful in about everything, but in this they are Satan's Spawns.
and that's my rant.
Lots of things happening in my family. Not all are good. But this one is.
I'm gonna be a Grandpa again!!!! WOO HOO
But not in the conventional way.
My daughter in South Carolina........who moved to Charlotte area several years ago, and who found a house and a job because of Captain (and who I still owe big time).........and who had her husband tell her she was not sexy enough, and he left her for another woman..........has been adjusting to her new life and living with my oldest grandson (just turned 20, amazingly!!...who is an EMT there). Well, she is my 'good child' and said that she just had way more room in her heart than she needed (her words) and felt like she needed to do something, so she put in to adopt a developmentally disabled (my words) boy. She had strict criteria as to age (she didn't want a baby or toddler, etc...but no teenagers either). She has had NO hits for a long time and I was getting discouraged. I don't know if she was, if so she hid it well. She said she just kept praying, and trying to follow the rules.
Well she found one. Or the system found her. Whichever.
A ten year old boy.......who was in his 3rd foster home....biological mother a doper, lived on street. He has other natural siblings but hasn't seen them in a while. The foster family he has now is wonderful, but has told him clearly they are not going to be permanent.
Sharon started off with all the mounds of paperwork, background checks, all that......took forever. Absolutely beyond words what you go through. More on that later. But she passed, and she started off driving over to see the boy on weekends. Quite a drive.
Sidebar: I'm not going to get into where he is........or his name..........just yet. I have been through this enough to know that sometimes things backfire........and I don't want someone to make a connection based on an internet chat site, and throw some crazy monkey wrench into the deal. So, as badly as I hate it because I want to shout it all out......I am going to withhold pertinent info for a while yet till this is all final. Sorry.
Anyway, things progressed and Sharon and Michael kept visiting the boy and doing things with him, and finally they told him. He is a little slow in school, behind a bit........but alert and bright and I think will end up somewhat closer to grade-level in his new environment, but it'll take a lot of years. He gets along fine with adults and small kids. He is smitten with Sharon and Michael and all is going well.
Right now, he is scheduled to come live with Sharon and Michael permanently starting sometime in middle or end of July. Those two are coming to visit next week, and if all works out perfectly, they will go get him after that, and he will live with them. Final adoption is months down the road....only after being an official 'foster mom' for x months. This is normal. She has already painted his bedroom, and there are no obvious snags left. There are things left to do, and they are doing them.....paperwork wise.
She got a new teaching job closer to her condo, so she can take him to that school district and be close. It is more rural, smaller, and closer than where she was teaching. So she has a lot of changes in her life now.
It is probably best that the boy get in his new environment and stay..........meaning, better that we go visit him than for him to uproot and drive 14 hours to come see us. He has never been in a car that long, either. So, sometime in probably August we can go see them, and meet him.
There are a lot, a LOT, of things that can cause hiccups along the way, and this schedule be changed. Nothing is in concrete. BUT, it looks like it's going to happen, and I've told my friends and other family, so I thought I'd tell this family too.
Number Six.
WOOO HOOOOO
Now a comment..............
I know about adoption. My parents knew about it first hand. I know about it first hand. Two of my children know about it first hand. This family knows about adoption. We understand what it means to be a parent, and know that it has nothing to do with DNA or 5 minutes of sex. It has to do with commitment. We get it, as much as any family you will encounter, most likely.
And because of that, there is absolutely no single thing on earth that gets my dander up more than the system that makes it so hard to adopt a child. There are ads on TV admonishing us to all go adopt a kid (as if it were like the puppy pound), because there are so many that need it. There are letters and comments from the pro-abortion group about "Well, if you don't like abortion, you need to go adopt some kids". YEAH!!! You're right. AND I'D LOVE TO MAN! But you can't. So many are not adoptable. They are in foster care, or institutions, but their families won't give them up because they are money in the bank. Or other reasons. So they are in permanent limbo.
Then if you do find one that is eligible, it takes an Act of Congress to get him or her. I understand that you have to prove you're not a meth head. I get that. But that should take a week, not 3 years!!!! And the 'system' is manned and staffed with those "Human Services" state employees that I worked with for 20 years..........the ones that can barely find their way home at night, who hate working at all, and do all they can to postpone work, and spend way more effort trying to avoid work than their work would actually be if they did it. Those are the scourges of the earth, and it sickens me. But even past that, the System is truly the one at fault. They make it far harder than it needs to be, for about 2 good reasons, and about 2,000 bad ones. Get out of the way, and things will happen. Government is awful in about everything, but in this they are Satan's Spawns.
and that's my rant.