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jb
07-17-2013, 10:23 AM
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
The young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?


When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.


St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.


The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.


'Yes,' he informs the couple. 'You can get married in Heaven.'


'Great!' said the couple, 'but we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'


'Holy Crap' says St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slamming his clipboard on the ground.


'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.

'OH, COME ON!' St. Peter shouted. 'It took me three months to find a Catholic priest up here. Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?'

Thumper
07-17-2013, 10:39 AM
No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by some of the best linguists in the world: Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clear winner.

His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.

Here is his astute answer: "When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!" :spank