A Hole in My Heart

[Buckrub]

I am NOT going to go into details here........ but I have a huge hole in my heart right now.

The 'new grandson' is not going to work out. We worked weeks with my daughter and grandson to try and help them acclimate him and get him to do better. Let's just say that he has WAY more problems, some very very serious, than she was ever let on about.......and he is not going to work out. He is going to go back to his previous foster parents in Tenn., who are coming later tonight to get him and take him back. He does not know yet, so tonight will be tough on my daughter, grandson, and wife who is still there. Very tough. They could use your prayers.

It is such a shame that someone tries so hard to do good for a needy person.....and it doesn't work. He would never function in a single mother environment, and needs a very strong father figure to ride herd constantly. He has more issues, understandable if you knew his background, than anyone dreamed of. I pray he gets somewhere that will be what he needs.

Lots of things have happened in my family this year, but this is the toughest so far.

I am ok with it because I agree with the decision. But emotionally, it's very tough.

And that's that.

Thanks to all of you for all your support of my issues lately. Thanks so much to Captain for what he did, which cannot be measured.

Thanks.

Bill

[BarryBobPosthole]

I'm sorry that that child isn't going to get the golden opportunity of coming into a family like yours and having a chance in life. And I'm sorry too that your family has lost the chance to give that kind of love and support. Its a bad deal all around. Like most losses of this nature, about the only thing you can do is walk away from it and try not to look back too often.

BKB

[Bwana]

So sorry to hear things didn't work out.

[Big Skyz]

Sorry to hear this Buckrub.

[Sunshine]

Sorry Bucky, but you know in your heart, you guys tried your hardest to give this child a better life. Its just not meant to be. Fill bad for the child too, because he can't find any happiness till he really wants it. :(
Not good anyway you look at it

[Niner]

I could not have said it any better than Barry did.

[LW]

That is pure pain with no bright side for anybody involved. Very sorry. I cant imagine having to make that decision.

[Big Muddy]

Kids....some are tough to train, but you still gotta love 'em.

[Arty]

Still praying for you and the family.

[River1]

That is tough duty Buckrub. I pray for Gods will to be done in all of this. That the boy is able to find healing wherever he ends up and that a new "grandchild" can be found that will be the perfect fit for your family.

[LJ3]

Sorry Bucky, you and your family are good people and do good things. I'm sorry this didn't work out for all involved but it certainly wasn't from lack of trying to do right.

[Tightline]

I sure do hate to hear that Bucky. The fishing trip with Cappy, I thought was a great way to start with him. You just never know.

[Captain]

So sorry to hear this Bucky, I do know your daughter could have given this boy the love and direction he needed...... IF she had gotten him earlier. To be honest I was slightly worried about your Daughter in all this. It's so hard to know what goes on in the minds of someone with this child's background. I was more worried about what would happen when he got older.
Ill pray for your family and pray for this child to get the path he needs...
I'm sure you are all going to second guess this for awhile. Find comfort in each other.
Take Care, Captain

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

[Buckrub]

Well, Silver lining..........

He was excited to see his previous Foster Father last night when he came to get him, and he went willingly. He apparently was unhappy more than he let on at my daughter's. They checked with them today and he's been happy since he's been there and playing with their little one and smiling. He has not sucked his thumb since last night, and he did that nonstop at my daughter's.

The Case Workers agreed they had misread him, and that he needs a Strong Father Figure. They said that the placement with my daughter was wrong for him, and they messed up. They are changing his routine and medicine, and trying to get him into a 4th grade Male teacher. They said he needs to be placed close to this foster family and not so far off, too.

Daughter and Wife are ok, and are out doing "shopping therapy". I believe they will be fine.

So, all has turned out well, or at least better than I had imagined. If nothing else, it has served to change his 'program' for the better, in a way he needs. They have agreed to be more aggressive with this, and he is "on their radar" now.

So......all things apparently do happen for a reason. Everyone is sad to miss the little guy, but glad he is getting more of what he needs. I did not see a good ending to this, but this is as good as it could be, I think.

FYI. Thank all of you for your concern. It is appreciated more than you know.

[FooBang]

That's a tough situation, Bucky. Especially after investing your hearts so.. I dunno if it comes down to having a father figure or not. I'm not a psychologist, but some kids are set in their ways, through no fault of their own, and there is nothing anyone can do about it; truly heartbreaking. I'm sure your daughter is an awesome parent, with lots of love to share..

--Foo