Ok, I'm totally cornfuzzled! (Bucky would love this)

[Thumper]

WARNING!! Thump post follows

Alright, I had a shit-load of eBay sales over the weekend. Last night (very important you understand this was LAST NIGHT ... Saturday) I'm printing up the little personalized inserts I enclose with anything I ship ... then getting ready to start printing my shipping labels afterwards. Boom! My printer runs out of ink. No prob. ... I slip in a brand new HP ink cartridge. I go to print another insert and zilch ... my printer spits out a blank sheet of paper! Actually, it printed the note VERY lightly ... kind'a a gray color ... very faint. I print a test sheet and I get all my colors, just no black (which is all I REALLY need). I go through all the trouble-shooting suggestions ... align everything ... clean the heads ... etc. etc. No change. Ok, maybe I have a bad ink cartridge (expires Feb. 2015), so I replace it with ANOTHER new cartridge (Exp. May 2015) ... nada! So I call Hewlett Packard's help-line. I get a VERY nice young lady on the phone, but she has a heavy Indian accent and every 30-45 seconds I was saying, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" After an hour on the phone, following her directions, dumping my cookies, deleting all my history, re-booting, yada yada yada ... I still had no black print.

Ok, she turns my case over to their Engineering Department. Ooops, they closed at 10:30 PM (Central time) and it's now 11:00 PM (midnight for me!). She assures me they will call me first thing in the morning. I mention it will be Sunday and I'm informed they work 7 days per week ... they open at 8:30 am Central and will call me no later than 1 hour later (9:30 - 10:30 here). I go to bed. Sure enough, at 9:45 this morning (my time), the phone rings. It's the same girl. I mentioned she sure works crappy hours ... I was just talking to her at 11:00 pm last night and here it is 8:45 ("her time") in the morning and she's already back at work! She informed me she never left and and is getting off work in about a half hour. Ok. She said Engineering is open now and she wanted to follow up with me and transfer me to them before she left work. Wow! Now THAT'S good customer service! Great follow-up! She tells me to hold the line and she'd transfer me to the Engineering Dept. Ok, now I get the usual music with occasional interruptions letting me know they have a high call volume and apologize for the delay. After 5 mins. or so on hold, the same rep. comes back on the line and she too apologizes for the wait and tells me someone will be with me asap. I sit on hold listening to music for a couple more minutes and .... CLICK .... rrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I get cut off! Damn!

I call back, go through 10 minutes of "if you want this, push number whatever, etc etc etc". I finally get some dude (with an even heavier Indian accent) and now I'm saying, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" about every 10 seconds! I go through the whole story again ... he pulls up my earlier complaint on his computer and informs me, "The Engineering Department will not be open for another 4 hours!" Huh? What happened to 8:30 (Central). He again said, it would be 4 hours before Engineering is open and they will contact me right away. He says to make sure I'm near my computer when they call so that I can make any changes necessary to get the issue resolved. Now I realize I'm going to be stuck at home ALL day awaiting their call. Arrrgghhh! Oh well ... I HAVE to get it fixed today!

Fast forward to just a few minutes ago ... it's almost 8:00 pm here. I call HP Customer Service and go through all the b/s "push this for that" crap and FINALLY get through to a customer service rep. ANOTHER HEAVY Indian accent! I go back and repeat all my woes. He informs me they are aware of my problem and the Engineering Department will be calling me as soon as they open. "HUH!!! They're closed now?" He says, "Yes, it's 4:00 am here and they won't open for another 5 hours!"

"Wait a danged minute! Where ARE you?"

"I'm in India!"

"And where is your Engineering Department?"

"They are here and will be open in 5 hours ... they should be calling you shortly after they open as your case has been turned over to them."

"Are you NUCKING FUTZ? That will be 1:00 - 2:00 am here!!!!"

"Yes, they should be calling you soon after they open."

"Why didn't they call me today as promised?"

"The Engineering Department is closed Saturday and Sunday ... it's 4:00 am Monday morning ... they will call you after they open at 9:00."

ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! I SWEAR I'm not making this up! :banghead

[BarryBobPosthole]

Just checking the obvious, but did you tear that little piece of plastic film off that covers the ink port on your cartridge?
BKB

[Captain]

Leave it to Thumper to leave the condom on the ink cartridge. ;-)

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[quercus alba]

Where is Bucky btw

[Thumper]

It's off dufus ... in fact one of the trouble shooting procedures is to clear the "breather hole" with a pin or paper clip. The ink port itself has a big ol' bright orange hard plastic cover that you have to twist off. No way to install the cartridge with it left on.

After searching on-line ... it seems they've had this problem for a while. Many of the blogs were as far back as 2011, but there seems to be no cure offered in the blogs. Heck, this printer is only 8 mos. old ... seems like they'd have it corrected by now.

[Niner]

OK.....so did they call ya in the middle of the night???

OH! Which HP printer IS it that ya gots? Wanna make sure it ain't the one I've got!!

[Captain]

Where is Bucky btw
Last he posted he said he was headed to his hunt club for a few days and then to his farm for a few days after that. Lord only knows if he got lost or what?

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[Thumper]

Crow9, it's an HP Deskjet 3520 (wireless print/scan/copy).

But when I Googled "HP printer will not print black after cartridge replacement" (or something along those lines) ... I saw they've had the same problem on a zillion different models.

Oh ... and surprise, surprise ... so far no call. I'm planning to wait until about 10:00am (my time) and if I haven't heard from anyone by then ... I'll call and go ballistic on their friggin' haids!!

[LJ3]

It's easier to go buy another printer theses days. Less than hunnert bucks and a fraction of the time you've already wasted :)

[Thumper]

Screw that! I ain't no rich-ass Yuppie. ;)

Heck, this one is only 8 months old and still under warranty! Maybe they'll GIVE me another printer.

[Big Muddy]

Hitch up your YoYo and go exchange that sucker....you'll save yourself a lot of time and stress. ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

Are you SURE you took that clear plastic film off of the cartridge before you installed it? It's not some colored cover thingy I'm talking about. If you look on the bottom of a B&W HP ink cartridge (mine uses a HP 60 cartidge by the way), there is a pull tab attached to a little strip of clear plastic on the bottom. If you forget to tear that off it gets no ink.

BKB

[Thumper]

Ha! I just called Customer Service and was told I'm scheduled for a call-back from "Engineering" at 11:30 AM (Eastern ... 35 mins. from now). THIS Customer Service dude was MUCH easier to understand, so I asked where he was located. He said the Philippines! ARRRGHHH! I asked who would be calling me back and where are they located. He said, "HP Engineering Dept. in Bangladesh!" :banghead

Well, at least we had a nice conversation about the Philippines and some of my old stomping grounds. I spent quite a bit of time there "back in the day". Heck, for all I know ... I may have been talking to one of my kids ... or GRANDkid! :D

[Thumper]

Are you SURE you took that clear plastic film off of the cartridge before you installed it? It's not some colored cover thingy I'm talking about. If you look on the bottom of a B&W HP ink cartridge (mine uses a HP 60 cartidge by the way), there is a pull tab attached to a little strip of clear plastic on the bottom. If you forget to tear that off it gets no ink.

BKB

Dude! Contrary to popular belief ... I'm a PUMPHEAD ... not a total idiot! ;)

Yep, I promise you the plastic has been removed. Duh! It's not a little strip over the contacts (I even cleaned the contacts) ... it's a full cover.

Here ya' go ... 3-color cart covers and 1-black ... plus a 2nd black to make sure the first one wasn't defective. (mine uses HP564 carts)

1878

[BarryBobPosthole]

What does it look like after you take those blue condom like looking things off of them?

BKB

[Thumper]

What does it look like after you take those blue condom like looking things off of them?

BKB

Like this .. other than a hard orange plastic doohickey that covers the ink port (removed in the photo). The contacts are clean and shiny brass ... (they look dark in the pic for some reason)

1879

Remember, at first I replaced all the carts ... 3-color and 1-black. They are all persactly the same except the black is a bit wider as it has more volume. All the colors work ... the black does not. The problem is pretty well documented on the net ... there's just no solution offered. Hopefully that's what Engineering will do.

[Chicken Dinner]

Oh, wait. If you cleaned the contacts, that voids the warranty...

[Captain]

Well did that call you or not?

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[Thumper]

Not a peep from HP yet and I have a stack of shit that has to be mailed today. It's time to get on the horn to India ... or the Philippines ... or Bumfuck, Egypt ... wherever it is those cock-suckers call home and go ballistic. This is the FOURTH frigging time they told me they would call at a specific time and to stay close to my computer so we could get this worked out. As it is, I've already missed mail pick-up and will have to make a special trip to the Post Office. BASTARDS! :pissed

[Captain]

Just get on eBay and buy another printer... ;-)

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[Thumper]

Ohhhh boy! I'm on hold now. This just got REAL nasty. So nasty I'm "almost" ashamed of myself. :)AR

[Niner]

Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo.....Go Jimbo...Go Jimbo!!!!!

[Thumper]

I think I'm losing it with this Indian bitch who BARELY speaks English. This is going downhill fast! :banghead

[BarryBobPosthole]

Reinstall windows. Or if all else fails......format c:

BKB

[Thumper]

That did NOT end well. AGAIN, I'm awaiting a call-back from "Engineering". BASTARDS! :rocket

[Thumper]

Well, 'splain this one to me Lucy. While reading all the blogs on the net regarding this same problem, I saw two different entries that sounded goofy. One guy said he had the same problem after a cartridge change, but after 24 hours, his started printing black again. On a totally different blog, a guy said he changed black cartridges and it did not print ... but the next day it was fine.

Well, after that last shouting match with HP Customer Service, on a whim, I decided to try printing another test sheet ... for about the 10th frigging time! NOW the printer is working fine! No problem what-so-ever! It wouldn't print (black) all Saturday night and it was no better yesterday. I finally decided to quit wasting paper and didn't even give it a shot today ... heck, I'd been told HP Engineering would be calling first thing this morning anyway.

Well, guess what? I STILL haven't heard from anybody. But, I have a plan ... when .... no, IF they ever call, I'm gonna tell 'em I gave up and bought another printer ... and it is NOT, and never will be ... another Hewlett Packard! Thank-you very much for nothing you Indian mother-fuckers! :thwak

[LJ3]

You're gonna single handedly bring down the HP Empire!

[Thumper]

Hey! One step at a time Ticboy! One step at a time! ;)

[Captain]

Well it sounds like some dried ink was clogging the tips and it sat there long enough for some fresh liquid to get to it and soften it up and allow flow. Don't sound like you are the only one that has had this happen to either.
That's what the support people note sheets tells them to do... Stall any dufus that calls with this problem and in 24 hours it will fix itself... ;-)
Glad you are up and running Bucky.... Ah Thumper. :D
Take Care, Captain

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[Thumper]

Bof'a youse .... AND HP can Bite Me! ;)

All the zillions of blogs I read ONLY address the black cartridges. My printer has 4 carts. ... three color and a black ... only the black didn't work. I replaced the new cart with a second new one and even IT did not work. I have no clue what the problem is. What you say might or might not make sense ... not sure why they'd dry up if they're new and sealed. Heck, even the print port has a cover on it which is double sealed with plastic. I never saw one complaint about the same happening with the color carts ... only the black. What I'm dreading is the NEXT cartridge change!

[LJ3]

PLease hold, we're fowarding you to Engineering.

[BarryBobPosthole]

I hope you'll complete this survey about how delighted you were with our customer service.
Thanks you very much.

BKB

[Niner]

Maybe there's a Quality Assurance issue in the manufacturing process of the black ink carts.

[Captain]

Ding, ding, ding!!!! Conine hit the nail on the head!
I'm sure they will be contacting ol' Thumper for a survey on just how helpful they were.

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[BarryBobPosthole]

"came clear while testing"

I've had a few thousand of those kinds of troubles.

BKB

[Thumper]

Yep, Engineering called at 8:30 tonight. I told them I gave up on them ever contacting me and I had important work to do, so I shit-canned my 8 month old HP, then bought a new Canon and couldn't be happier with it! They said if I'd hook it back up, they'd run me through the process of diagnosing the problem and I may need a replacement. I told 'em "thanks, but no thanks," I'm happy with my Canon. Jack-asses!

[BarryBobPosthole]

P.S. They don't care. 'engineering' is likely not even an HP employ. Tell me a contractor gives two shits bout a company's service when they don't even get paid by them. Biggest farce in American business history. We ought to buy foreign just to provethe point. Pisses me off.

BKB

[Big Muddy]

Thump, I've had sheeit like that happen, too....aggravating as h3ll....just wondering, instead of missing you postal pickup, why not just print your shipping labels in a dark color, since those carts. were working???

[Thumper]

You're prolly right P-hole ... I know what I said did not phase anyone at HP ... the only satisfaction gained was "self-satisfaction". When you're helpless and totally dependent on someone else, sometimes it feels good to at least THINK you finally gained a bit of power over them. Don't burst my bubble. (I DO hope they send me a survey though) :D

Eddie, good point and I honestly didn't think of it. Not sure how dark I could get with pink (Magenta), yellow and light blue, but it might have been worth a shot. The only real negative is I'd prolly shoot through one o'those skinny little color cartridges in about a week and they're pretty pricey. The black cart on the other hand is a big ol' honker. I do a TON of printing and go through an extra-capacity black cartridge in about 6 weeks.

[Captain]

Something about Pink mailing labels and Thumper just go together.... :-)

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[Thumper]

Smart-ass ... make that "magenta" then! ;)

[Thumper]

The dumb-asses just sent me their Customer Service survey. I feel SO much better now! ;)

[Buckrub]

Silly man.

NOBODY's Engineers speak English.

and my HP 7520 works like a champ. Occasionally loses contact with my router, but I am sure that's my router acting up.

You want my old Kodak Printer? It's shiny!!! It's also black. Their Engineers are in India too. Everyone's are. Welcome to Earth, The One World Society, and All That. Merry Christmas.

P.S.
Get next one at Best Buy, and buy their warranty.

[Big Muddy]

The dumb-asses just sent me their Customer Service survey. I feel SO much better now! ;)

To piss 'em off real good, answer all the survey questions in Spanish, or even better, in pig latin. ;)

[Thumper]

I see Smart-ass Bucky made it home! ;)

Actually, it's working fine now. To be honest, all I've ever owned since my very first computer has been HP. I have a whole spare bedroom full of the damn things. They're like the old cell phone chargers ... get a new cell phone ... none of your old chargers work! (they're FINALLY changing that)

With all my printers, I'd get a new computer and the old printers wouldn't work with the new OS. I bet I have 10 of them here!

[Buckrub]

Well...........some of "they" is finally changing that!! There is a noticeable recalcitrant manufacturer.

If you have that many printers, try one of them. No reason a printer wouldn't work with an OS...???...???....??? So go try the latest one of those. Or sell them ALL on Ebay and buy ONE working one with a guarantee.

You're welcome.

[Thumper]

Already tried ... that's why they were replaced with new ones. Some would last through a couple of operating systems ... others were useless and couldn't be updated. Try selling a used printer with an old OS these days. They're not even worth the gas money to drive them across town ... much less to ship. Walk into any thrift store ... old printers are a dime a dozen. This one is working fine ... I have no clue what the glitch is when changing cartridges. It sure was aggravating though.

[Buckrub]

Jim, this is a secret. DO NOT LET this out!

(all home printers do this. No one knows why)

[jb]

Secret is don't change your OS. I bought a new puter 2 years ago but had them reinstall XP Pro. I have to run 3 different printers off my system ( Kodak ESP-7, HP Deskjet 1220C, and HP Designjet 500) and didn't want to fart around with a new OS. Hell, half the world still uses XP Pro.

[Thumper]

Jim, this is a secret. DO NOT LET this out!

(all home printers do this. No one knows why)

Not sure what you're talking about. I've never, EVER had a printer that wouldn't print after installing a new cartridge.