Top 10 worst cars of all time..... [Archive]

Thumper

03-20-2014, 10:31 AM

This begs for a "Thump story" .... one I've touched on before but never really elaborated on and helps explain my ... well .... not hatred ... let's just say ... "unhappiness" with General Motors. It's ancient history actually and I've gotten over it, but it's a good example of how arrogant GM brass was back in the day (and may still be for all I know).

I started working in GM dealers as a kid (15 yrs. old) and eventually worked in every department there is in a dealership at one time or another (except the admin. dept. ... accountants/book keepers, etc). It's a career I had for 20 years until I got fed up with GM upper management arrogance and struck out on my own for a career change.

During my GM career, I migrated toward Cadillac and pretty much remained in the Service Department, working my way up through management. I was VERY tight with the factory (Detroit) big-wigs as well as a few of their top engineers. Even had dinner at some of their houses, attended social functions with some and even ended up partying in Vegas from time to time with some of them (on a personal basis, not business related). My relationship with the factory eventually developed to the point I was an "unofficial consultant" with them and if they had a dealership "in trouble" (low customer satisfaction), a few mucky-mucks with GM would actually "pressure" that particular dealer into hiring me to straighten out their mess. Although the factory could not "officially" get involved with the dealer's hiring/firing operations, they COULD threaten to pull their franchise if they didn't get things turned around, THEN drop my name and "suggest" they talk to me about working for them. ;)

So, basically, I spent most of my career in screwed up GM franchises. As soon as things got turned around and running smoothly, it would be "suggested" I talk with another dealer who was "in trouble". I was under constant stress because I was always working in a cesspool of sorts and never got a break. In the mid 70's I bought my first Japanese car and was impressed with the detail work. Open the hood and every wire and hose is neatly routed and secured ... little stuff like that impressed me. (open the hood of an American car from that era and it looks like someone threw a bowl of spaghetti on top of the engine and slammed the hood). Then, after a while, I started experiencing their reliability and taking mental notes. (I sold that car with close to 300,000 miles on it and NO major repairs)

I'd attend management meetings (on a National level) where many GM brass were in attendance. We'd hash out problems, talk about future products, industry trends, etc. The meetings were very informative and many problems were addressed, but I ended up being a bit of a "dark horse" in the "family" when I started making speeches about how if we (the American auto industry) didn't get off our lazy, arrogant asses ... the Japanese were going to kick our dicks in the dirt. Needless to say, my comments didn't go over very well and the message I always returned with (from GM brass) was, "We're the greatest and Americans will buy whatever we produce!" Over the years I'd get chastised for voicing my opinions and was being accused of "not being a company man and team player"!

In the late 70's, GM came out with the diesel engine. It was a frigging 350 cid Oldsmobile gas engine converted to diesel. WTF??? It had to be the biggest POS GM ever produced and was a total disaster. The average life expectancy was about 18,000 miles before they'd blow up. That's not even to mention the fuel delivery problems as well as the weak-assed 200 tranny they were hooked to. We actually had cars "stuck" on hillsides where they'd been parked and the cars were unable to back up to get out of the space! PURE CRAP ... and a Cadillac?

1981 was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. Cadillac had three engines available ... a POS 6-cylinder that could barely get a heavy Cadillac up the incline of one's driveway. We still had the diesel that would puke it's guts out before the tits were even worn off the tires. And then there was the final engine option ... the infamous Cadillac 8-6-4 which had the world's worst electronics and failed miserably. We were not allowed (by law) to disable the system, but I opened the hood for literally hundreds of customers and pointed to a connector that could be unplugged to disable the system. I'd explain it was illegal for me to do, but the owner could do anything he wants. (hint-hint) For the "problem customers" who complained they wanted what they bought to actually work, I had a "secret" box of electronic parts (resistors) that a GM engineer handed me one day, showed me where to install them, and said, "NOBODY knows where these came from, ok?" (wink-wink)

Again, that was 1981. In '82, Cadillac came out with their "European Buster"!! The Cadillac Cimmaron. Now tell me the GM brass didn't already know it was a POS when they introduced it. We weren't even supposed to call it a Cadillac ... the badge on the car actually read, "Cimmaron by Cadillac"! I shit you not, it was a dressed up Chevrolet Cavalier (a POS to begin with) with a "Cimmaron by Cadillac" badge stuck on it. Like they were ashamed to put the Cadillac crest on the thing, but expected people to buy it anyway because it was "American"! It was "supposed" to be in direct competition with the BMW 3-series. Again, GM had the arrogant impression, if GM builds it, America will buy it. I see it made #8 on your list.

#8: Cadillac Cimarron: The 1982 Cadillac Cimarron was a symbol of what was wrong with GM in the 1980s, an effort to compete with BMW by redecorating the front-drive, four-cylinder Chevrolet Cavalier and calling it a Cadillac.

Edmunds.com called it "a self-inflicted wound that nearly killed Cadillac."

Huffman said the Cimarron was a "cynical" endeavor, "a Chevrolet literally disguised as a Cadillac," produced at a time when "Cadillac thought it could make anything and people would buy it."

The Cimarron led consumers to conclude that "Cadillac didn't care anymore," Huffman said.

Ok, the highlighted area above is mine. Does that sound familiar? It's exactly what I'd been saying to GM for years and was horse-whipped for even thinking such a thing. When I told them what a POS their "Cimmaron by Cadillac" was ... I lost my Eldorado demo and was given a Cimmaron. I was told by Cadillac brass to "see if I can break it". Huh? They told me to take it out, abuse the hell out of it and "see if I could break it". Ok. I took it out on a large parking lot at a closed store on a Sunday afternoon and abused the hell out of it. I spun donuts, jammed gears (did I mention this "Cadillac" had a MANUAL TRANSMISSION!!?? ... "sporty" competition for the BMW!) When the brass got back with me and asked if I agreed the car was "bullet-proof", my reply was, "WTF am I going to break with 88 frigging horsepower?" (the actual advertised hp at the time if I remember correctly)

Oh, to add insult to injury, this is also the year I bought my first Toyota! I had a Cadillac demo (company car) of course, but my personal car was a Toyota. I became disenchanted with GM after this period of time and left the GM dealership business to work for a limo manufacturer in Beverly Hills. They hired me due to my strong connection with Cadillac and I continued to work with Cadillac brass on the limo projects. After 3 years of that, the Hollywood Caddie dealer contacted me and begged me to come back to work for them, which I did. But not much had changed as far as GM corporate attitudes and in '88 I considered myself as a victim of "career burn-out". I left the car business for good. I turned in my shiny Cadillac demo and started driving the first of the 20 or so Toyotas I've owned since that time.