Military funeral....

[Big Muddy]

I was a pall bearer at a WW2 vet's recent funeral....he was a 32nd degree Scottish Rites Mason, also....he was honored by having both ceremonies performed at the interment.

I've participated in several military funerals, but have never seen this happen:

The two soldiers folded the flag properly....then, the one who was holding the completed and folded flag, turned to the family, and said "Would the family member who is to receive this flag, please remain seated, while the rest of the family, please stand."....the oldest daughter remained seated.

The soldier approached the oldest son, and promptly handed him the flag....everyone was astonished.

I've googled this, but none of us old farts have been able to figure this out.

WTF ???

[LJ3]

I've seen dozens of full honor military funerals at Arlington Cemetery. That's standard procedure here.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Most of the ones I've been to they omit the 'everyone else please stand' part. Its typically done at the graveside and the only ones seated are close family members anyway. At my Dad's funeral they had everyone else stand, so it may be up to the person who's doing the ceremony.

BKB

[Big Muddy]

Ya'll didn't read my question closely.

The soldier did NOT give the flag to the daughter, who he just asked to remain seated and receive the flag....he gave it to the brother, who was standing.

My question is, why the hell did the soldier ask who was going to receive the flag, then NOT give it to them???

[LJ3]

Oh. Sounds like they fucked it up to me :) The Army Honor Guard does them here. They don't fuck it up. Maybe it was a planned surprise by the family?

[Thumper]

I may be wrong here, but I was always under the impression it went to the wife. If no wife, the next in line is the oldest SON. It's up to the son to present it to the daughter (sister) if those are the wishes of the family.

It "may" have been a misunderstanding all around ... the SON should have remained seated as he was the one to RECEIVE the flag ... that doesn't mean he can't pass it on to another family member.

Then again ... my memory of military funeral protocol may be flawed.

[Thumper]

Well, I had to Google it and it goes to the Primary Next of Kin (PNOK). You referred to her as "the OLDEST daughter". Was she older than the brother or just the oldest daughter? Even if she were older and the oldest brother "looked" close in age, they may have presented it to the brother unless they were informed of their ages. I really don't know for sure, but here's what I found:

The Primary Next of Kin (PNOK) line of succession is as follows:

(a) Spouse.
(b) Sons or daughters in the order of seniority.
(c) Oldest parent unless legal custody granted to another person.
(d) Blood or adoptive relative granted legal custody.
(e) Brothers or sisters in the order of seniority.
(f) Oldest grandparent.
(g) Other relative in accordance with laws of deceased's domicile.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Yep, not sure what the protocol is. for example, my Mom received the flag for my Uncle John's funeral and he had daughters at the funeral but they just told the person doing the ceremony who was to receive it. It could be they'd discussed it and when it came time the family just forgot and the wrong person remained seated.
BKB

[Thumper]

Yeah, my cousin received my grandfather's flag at his military funeral. We had arranged it with the funeral director beforehand and it was known up front who was to receive the flag.

[Big Muddy]

It was just a very odd situation, which I've never seen at a military funeral....btw, his wife was already deceased, so it was just the two daughters and one son, remaining....you could see the surprise on both the daughter's and son's faces, along with everyone else in attendance.

In their family situation, I think it would have been fine, no matter who ended up with the flag....it was just the surprise of the soldier asking who was to receive it, then, giving it to someone else.

Think I'll ask the funeral director, next time we cross paths.