If you could only choose one

[quercus alba]

person to taze and it couldn't be a politician, who would it be and why?

I would have to say Micheal Martin Murphy for singing "Wildfire". I've had that song stuck in my head for three days. Why don't that happen with songs I like.

Right now I'd like to pepper spray him AFTER I tazed him 5 or 6 times.

[BarryBobPosthole]

George RR Martin, and I'd do it so he'd wake the heck up and finish this next book.

BKB

[Thumper]

Obama's mama ... for poppin' that little bastard out in the first place!

(Ya' think NSA monitors this site?) :hair

[LJ3]

Scott Carrol. Redneck who beat me up once a week for what seemed like an eternity.

Taze him long enough to chain him up to the back of my truck.

Whoah.... bitter? party of one? my table is ready.

[Thumper]

Ha ha! I had one'a those experiences Ticboy. I don't even remember what his name was ... I called him "Knuckles"! I was in like the 5th grade and he was a "big kid" in Jr. H/S. He'd hide somewhere and kick my ass as I walked home. No clue why ... I didn't even know who he was or where he went to school. I finally got tired of getting my ass kicked every other day and told the school principle who tracked him down somehow. No idea whatever happened, but I never saw him again.

(But I sure wouldn't mind tazing him and chaining him to the back of your truck alongside Scott Carrol.) :D

[Big Muddy]

Obama's mama ... for poppin' that little bastard out in the first place!

(Ya' think NSA monitors this site?) :hair



Don't worry about the NSA....the Rooskies have all your info., now, and they coming for your ebay stash. ;)

Headline: NY Times: 8-6-14

"""Russian Hackers Have Reportedly Stolen More Than a Billion Usernames and Passwords"""

[Sunshine]

Didn't need a tazer. I used a baseball bat.

In elementary school, there was a girl that was constantly bullying or hitting me.

My mom always said, I'd be the better person just walking away.
Did that till my dad came home, from being overseas.

Told him what was happening and when I told him the girl was bigger then me, he said and I quote:" pick up something that will make you the same size and hit her!" Then she will leave you alone.
So off I went to school, with a plan.

During gym, we were playing softball.

She comes over and pushes me to the ground, so I reach over and grab a baseball bat and took a swing at her!!!
Knocked her ass on the ground and bloodied her nose!!
Stood up and told her if she ever messed with me again, she'd get worst.

By then the teacher arrives and I'm in big trouble.

Was sent to principle office to get a swat!!
She ended up going to the hospital.

Sitting in principles office, I'm listening to my hysterical teacher explaining what I had done to the other girl.

Principal comes out and tells me to go into his office.
I knew I was in for some pain.

When he entered the room, I looked straight at him and told him he better not touch me with that paddle, because my dad said I could hit her.

He was shocked. He called my dad to come down to his office.

As he walks in, he looks at me with the " what the hell did you do look?"

Principle asked my dad if he gave me permission to hit the girl with a baseball bat?

He says well no! I told my daughter if the bully was bigger then her to pick up something that would make her the same size and hit her.

I said:" see it told you!!"
Principle was furious, but I didn't get a swat.

Once we got out to the car, my dad asked what happen.
Told him and he smiled. Said:" I'll bet she never messed with you again!"

We both smiled and went home.

She NEVER messed with me again!!

Don't need a tazer. Need a baseball bat! :)

[BarryBobPosthole]

Hell hath no fury..........

BKB

[LW]

Oprah

[BaseballCoach (Rev A)]

My current boss. Bipolar lesbian....

[Captain]

Anyone with an OBummer bumper sticker....

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

[LW]

My current boss. Bipolar lesbian....
I would have to see a picture of her first...

[BaseballCoach (Rev A)]

Bipolar butch lesbian. Her GF goes over 300 lbs, you don't want to see that.

[LW]

Yep. She rides the lightning.

[Arty]

The asshole that stole my wallet and both mine and my wife's cell phone on vacation about 9 years ago.
I had ALL of our spending cash in it (about 800$) plus debit and credit cards. Oh- and the drivers license that I needed to board a plane with to fly back home.

I hate a thief.

[Thumper]

Dang Arty ... I'd forfeit my one allowable taze and let you use it on that a-hole! What a way to ruin a vacation. How's about you tell us the whole story ... or would it raise your blood pressure too much? I'm with you though ... I don't think there's anything on earth I hate more than a thief ... 'cept maybe a rapist or child molester. I always hope I never catch someone stealing from me because I'm sure I'd end up in jail for ... ummmm ... overkill.

[johnboy]

I'm thinking of a particular insurance adjuster. A little zap or two or maybe three might help focus his attention.

[Arty]

Dang Arty ... I'd forfeit my one allowable taze and let you use it on that a-hole! What a way to ruin a vacation. How's about you tell us the whole story ... or would it raise your blood pressure too much? I'm with you though ... I don't think there's anything on earth I hate more than a thief ... 'cept maybe a rapist or child molester. I always hope I never catch someone stealing from me because I'm sure I'd end up in jail for ... ummmm ... overkill.


2005 my wife and I were in Oahu, staying at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. I actually won the whole trip, airfare, hotel, rental car, on the RADIO. (But that's a different story)

My wife was down on the beach. I was in the room. She texts me and tells me to come down to the beach because she wants a beach chair and they only take cash. Can't put it on the room.
So, I head down to the beach WITH my wallet. (Which I NEVER carry to the beach).
So I stop at the little shack/shed and get the chairs, and the guy asks my room number. I tell him, and he tells me how much, I pay, he grabs the chairs and follows me. I wasn't planning on staying at the beach, but the chairs are rented by the pair, so I sit down with my wife for a few minutes.
She decided it was time to look for some sea shells to bring back home and convinces me to walk to the edge of he water.
For some unknown dumbass reason, when I go to put my cell phone in the beach bag (didn't want it to get wet since we would be wading in the water)..... I put my wallet in there too.

We walk literally 60 feet to the water, start looking around, we'd been standing there no longer than 2 minutes (hadn't even found a damn shell yet) and my wife says "you think our phones are ok by the chairs?" I say wellllll "I put my wallet in there too.... But were right here, there's the chairs, there's no one around".... She says "well I'm going to go get the bag anyway just in case and we can put shells in it". She gets up to the chairs, circles them, looks up and me and starts screaming "it's gone!"
We were literally not 60 feet away, and only away from it 3 minutes at most.
Long story short, we call cops, tell hotel staff, etc. Cop said it was probably the guy at the chair shack, and then it hits me that he only wanted cash, but also wanted room number. He also saw my wallet when I paid him, and also knew exactly where we were sitting because he brought the chairs over.
Cop goes and questions him. He says he never left shack. Cop tells me he's probably telling the truth.... That he just called a buddy who was also casing the beach.

THANKFULLY my FIL wired us a bunch of cash.
I was able to get on the plane on the way back with a notarized police report that said I had my ID stolen. Airline took that, and my previous boarding pass (I guess to verify that I had infact flown there) and let me on.

Talk about a kick in the balls. I was sick. And as much as I blamed myself for leaving my wallet JUST out of reach....only a professional thief would do something like that.

Makes me more sick, than mad. To this day that's the first thing I think of when I think about our "once in a lifetime" trip to Hawaii.

[Thumper]

Dude! That story has major suck factor! Sorry to hear it. Have a similar story myself and it makes me sick to my stomach every time I think about it. Yep, sounds like the chair rental guy had a scam partner close by just waiting for the right time. Man that sucks. Sorry I twisted your arm to re-live it. :(

[Chicken Dinner]

I think you should have beat that guy's ass just for the satisfaction.