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View Full Version : Got Vise-Grips???......



Big Muddy
08-18-2014, 09:50 AM
Did any of ya'll see this???....Jimmie Johnson's gear shift lever broke off, during yesterday's race....when he pitted, his crew chief handed him a pair of Vise-Grips, which he clamped on the broken lever stub to use as a handle....they appeared to work just fine. ;)



I may have told ya'll this before, but it reminded me of a Big Muddy event(bloody accident), when I was a kid....my buddies and I had thrown together a rag-tag go kart, using the motor off of our old Yazoo lawnmower....there was a steering stud up front, but we didn't have a steering wheel, so we clamped a pair of old Vise-Grips onto the steering stud....the Vise-Grips wouldn't make that final " really-clamped-shut" feeling, that a pair of good ones make, but we just made do with them.

I was the guinea pig....the go kart had to be pushed-off to crank it because there was no clutch on it....we had it direct-driven with a bicycle chain to the old Yazoo motor that was the type engine that used a cranking handle....recoil rope cranking hadn't been invented, yet. ;)

To make matters worse, there wasn't a throttle cable, either....we just set the throttle lever to wide-open, and the only way to stop the thing was to turn around in the wooden seat(which came off of an old dairy milking stool), and yank off the spark plug wire.

My Dad had been a flight instructor, during WW2, and had given me one of his old leather flight caps, so I was ready and rearing to go!!!....my buddies push-started it for me, and down the gravel road I was really flying....I mean, that thing was apeing-ass, when the Vise-Grips turned loose....it began zig-zagging across the loose gravel, so I turned around to yank off the spark plug wire.

My weight shifted, and that day'um thing flipped about a dozen times, then I skidded on my back about 100 feet in the middle of the gravel road, with the go kart on top of me....when it finally came to a stop, the gas tank had ruptured, and gasoline was pouring down my, now, meat-less back.

There wasn't a single square inch of skin left on my little skinny ass, except for the top of my head, where the leather flight cap had protected my noggin....my entire body was one big bloody, gasoline-soaked mess.

After my buddies got thru laughing their asses off at me, they picked me up, and threw me in a wheel barrow, and hauled me the half mile down the gravel road to our house....when my folks saw them, hauling me up the driveway in the wheel barrow, they jokingly said later, they thought I'd been run over by a herd of our neighbors dairy cows. ;)

My Mom picked as much gravel, as possible, outta my hide, washed me up, gave me a couple of baby aspirins, wrapped me up in a bed sheet, and made me a pallet on the floor....I found out later, she didn't want all the blood and hanging skin to ruin the mattress. ;)

Next morning, the bed sheet was stuck to my entire oozing body....I remember my Dad, lifted me off the pallet, and sat me in the bath tub, so the bed sheet could soak off me....talk about hurting....day'um !!!!

School started that next week, and I remember all my friends, calling me Frankenstein....I couldn't much blame them....I was one ugly-looking-bloody-mess for about a month. ;)

Captain
08-18-2014, 10:09 AM
Damn that hurt to read about.... I bet you know how Thumper feels?

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Niner
08-18-2014, 10:21 AM
Back when I was in the Navy and "heathen biker trash" a bunch of my buds and I were out for a ride down Florida's A1A from Jacksonville to Daytona. One of my buds was riding an old Triumph, and somewhere along the way his darned shifter fell off.

I opened up the tool kit on my ol' Harley and pulled out a set of vise-grips. We snapped them onto the shifting stud (where the lever used to be), and were again on our merry way. He picked up a new shifter lever the following week, and returned my vise-grips. I did advise him to invest in a tube of Locktite.

LJ3
08-18-2014, 11:49 AM
Dang Eddie... I could play your story like a move in my haid. That was funny. It's amazing what seems like a good idea when we think we're invincible!

Thumper
08-18-2014, 12:43 PM
I couldn't tell you how many emergency pit repairs were accomplished with a pair of Vice-Grips back in the day. It's a "pit box standard"! ;)

Love the go-kart story ... I gots a zillion of 'em with similar outcomes. I don't really know how I lived through being a kid! One comes to mind. I had a Schwinn Stingray and had a shoe box stuffed beneath the banana seat. I'd taken a plastic shower curtain, tied strings onto each corner of the plastic sheet (with a marble in the corner to give the string something to "grip") and tied it all onto the back of my seat. I'd fold the contraption up, stuff it in the shoe box, put the whole works under my seat and haul ass down the big hill by our house. At the bottom of the hill you had to either turn 90 degrees left or right as there was a house at the bottom of the hill (the house backed up to a large lake).

I'd get at the top of the hill, pedal as fast as I could, then reach down and knock the shoe box out from under my seat. The shower curtain (my homemade parachute) would unfurl, fill with air and it would slow me down enough to make that turn at the bottom with some heavy braking on my part. Well, on one pass, I was hauling ass down that hill peddling as fast as humanly possible when my chain came off. I managed to "save it" without busting my ass, but I had NO BRAKES!! No prob. ... I had a PARACHUTE! I kicked the box out, the parachute inflated and as I was approaching the bottom of the hill I was still doing about Mach 1.5! Right when I had visions of busting through the front door of the house at the bottom, flying through their livingroom, blasting out the back door and ending up in the lake ... a frigging bread truck came across the road from my right. I slammed into the side of that dang thing and did a face implant right into the painted loaf of Merita Bread on the side of the box! I'm not really sure what the best alternative was ... the truck or the house ... but I didn't have much say in the matter!

Once I recovered, I commenced to start construction of a homemade glider (before hang gliders were even invented) and had visions of duplicating a Wright Brothers demonstration off the top of our two-story house. (that one didn't end well either!) :(

Buckrub
08-18-2014, 12:46 PM
Needle nosed vice grips
Duct Tape and Elec tape
WD-40
Two screwdrivers
One regular pliers

Should be able to rip into most anything!!!

Thumper
08-18-2014, 12:49 PM
Needle nosed vice grips
Duct Tape and Elec tape
WD-40
Two screwdrivers
One regular pliers

Should be able to rip into most anything!!!

Sounds like Bucky installing a scope on his deer rifle! (you forgot to mention the hammer) :D

Buckrub
08-18-2014, 12:50 PM
Sold mine.