To the lovely lady in the Ford 3500 pickup

[Buckrub]

Ma'am!???

I realize that I only got a short glimpse of you, there just west of Memphis, a few hours ago. And I realize that I'm probably being overly judgmental, so forgive me that, but based on your proclivity for tattoos and your bouffant hair and your corpulent figure, I'm going to somehow divine that you probably had at least one, if not quite a few, learning disabilities in school. Based on that supposition, I can only imagine that you are not very familiar with the laws of physics, especially the one about two solid objects being unable to be in the same place at the same time.

I also realize that Arkansas is one of the most frustrating applicators of road maintenance in these wonderful United States, and that the right lane of I-40 in that area closely resembles most of the roads in Beirut after the latest takeover attempt.

And I know that you were in a hurry. I can surmise that by guessing, based on the inordinate amount of antennae extruding from your large Ford 1 ton pickup, that you are in fairly constant contact with most of the lovely truckers on America's interstates. No doubt, you were in a hurry to get to the next exit where you had no doubt arranged a lovely discussion and meeting with one or twelve of them. I get that. I'm sure you all had a lovely time.

But.........

THAT IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO LEAVE YOUR RUTTED RIGHT LANE AND RUN ME COMPLETELY INTO THE MEDIAN, WHILE BLITHELY GOING ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY, NEVER EVEN LOOKING BACK TO SEE IF YOU HAD KILLED ME AND MY WIFE!!!

If I had been able to see through the mud and grass my truck was dispersing violently, I would have called 911 and had you arrested. Since I did not get your plates, I did make a concerted effort to increase my speed to catch you so that I could fire multiple bullets into your undoubtedly massive brain and thus prohibit you from a possible destruction of a nice family of four at some future time. Sadly, I'm sure you had already exited said road in order to make the liaison with your Freeway Cowboy buddies.

Till next time, when I assure you, payback will not be pleasant.

[No-till Boss]

I love the use of the word corpulent !

[Thumper]

Curmudgeon.

[No-till Boss]

Curmudgeon.
Well I'll be damn, I finally looked curmudgeon up : An ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions.

[Thumper]

Yeah, I put that down after 90% of Bucky's posts.

It's been kind of a standard around this joint for many years. :D

[Buckrub]

And it still pisses me off, which is why they do it..........because it applies to them more than me, but whatever. They are just deflecting their own shortcomings, and I get it!!!

YOU get run off the flipping road and almost crash because of some bozo and see how YOU feel, dimwitted Florida cracker!!! :)

[Thumper]

Curmudgeon. ;)

[Buckrub]

Mirror faced ugly boy. Sticks and stones.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Man, I could have made this same rant almost Saturday morning. Had to run an errand down in Tulsa and headed in bright and ealry. Had a guy in a SUV come on the on ramp and I made to move over for him but there was a car coming on fast in the left hand lane. The guy in the on ramp came on and just headed right into me and I had nowhere to go. i managed to squeeze the guy to my left enough that he he got on around me but we made two lanes into three. The guy in the SUV never even acknowledged me. I did some swearing. Less than a mile later, a motorcyclisy, who we are constantly reminded we never give enough respect, swerved around my rear and front bumpers going at least 100 mph and continued doing the same until he was out of sight.
I don't know why all these crazy fuckers were on the road at 7:00 AM on a Saturday but they sure as hell perked me up!

BKB

[Thumper]

Youse dufes sound like a coupl'a grumpy old retired farts.

Have you boys had your Metamucil today? :D

[Buckrub]

No we don't. And yes I have, every day.

What is your problem? You on qualuudes? The world just peachy for you all the time? Or is it just YOUR curmudgeon posts that are acceptable? Do you drive any more? Do you get out much?? Are you alive? Awake?

Hello? Buehler?

[Captain]

Sounds to me you were in the left lane poking and she was passing in the right lane.
This would not happen if slower traffic got out of the fast lane.

[Buckrub]

No, I was in the left lane passing her. She was the slower vehicle. In the process of passing her, about at the point at which my front bumper was equal to her truck bed, she swerved into the left lane without watching. She WAS going through a very rough patch, and it was clear she changed lanes to avoid the rough spot. At the point at which she should have seen me and gotten back in right lane, she just kept coming. I suspect I was in her 'dead zone' in her mirror. That's still unacceptable. She clearly never knew I was coming even from before when I WAS in her mirror sight. She was gabbing with her buddy in the truck and not paying any attention. I don't think she ever knew she did it. We almost died.

There were tons of folks driving slow in the left lane. Some people were about to go postal on one little car with two girls in it. It was clear that they knew and didn't care. They were flipping off folks who honked at them to move. I just backed off and let 'em do whatever.........

[Thumper]

Yep, our "fast lane" is plastered full'o Arkie plates down here. The NERVE of those old farts driving in the left lane doing 70 in a 70mph zone!! ;)

[Buckrub]

Arkansas drivers, about 50% of them, are some of the worst in the world, I admit.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Speaking of blind spots, I think the blind spot sensors in my truck are about the handiest damned thing since pockets on shirts. I still look to verify, but the little lights that come on in your mirrors telling you there is someone in your blind spot is just the cats ass.

BKB

[Buckrub]

And most motorcycles on the freeway are doing 90-110, easily. There are few old guys on Harley's doing 60........... both cause a lot of problems.

The biggest problem with freeway driving is traffic flow. It only works when all vehicles are going about same speed, or the traffic is light enough to let folks pass. But there are three kinds of drivers on the road, and they are all three mutually exclusive. One is the Meemaw/Papaw driver, going about 40 (and I'm not exaggerating, there were at least 4 of these on my trip yesterday), another is the guys doing 90+ (probably 1/4 of the traffic), and the guys going a bit over the speed limit.

Then the big trucks get stuck.........they encounter the first guy and try to pass, but can't do it fast. Then you have a mess. Truthfully, driving slow on the freeway is MUCH worse than driving too fast.

[Buckrub]

Speaking of blind spots, I think the blind spot sensors in my truck are about the handiest damned thing since pockets on shirts. I still look to verify, but the little lights that come on in your mirrors telling you there is someone in your blind spot is just the cats ass.

BKB

That is cool. The sensors on vehicles today are amazing. I think Jimbo was talking about this the other day, about how the "old days" are NOT for him, especially when it comes to cars. The new ones blow my mind.

[Thumper]

Believe it or not P-hole, ours saved my ass just last Friday. I was backing out of a parking space, looked right, looked left, then started backing out. That thing went off and I just about got creamed by a FedEx truck that came blasting around the blind corner I was parked on. Scared the bejeebers out'ta me. Those things are the cat's meow.

Lynn texted me and said it saved her a bit of embarrassment just this morning. It's POURING rain here right now and as she was backing out of the driveway this morning she couldn't see much of anything. She about took out the trash can I had at the end of the driveway but caught it in the back-up camera when the sensors went off. (today is trash day)

[BarryBobPosthole]

And the backup camera makes backing a trailer ball right under the hitch a snap too! First time every time!bKB

[Big Muddy]

Ya'll don't have a monopoly on idiot drivers....we were coming home from the lake house, last night about 10pm, and a democrat in a black Escalade was sitting dead still in the middle of the right lane....no safety blinkers, no nothing, just parked there, with his tail lights on....he was walking back to the vehicle with a hubcap in his hand....I saw him in plenty of time to avoid him, but the 18 wheeler behind me, nearly splattered his fat azz, when he opened the door to get in.

[DeputyDog]

Hey Lumpy, how did you like it when all those little "4 wheelers" cut you off when you were driving the big truck?

[LJ3]

Dang Bucky, glad you were able to come out unscathed! Probably better you didn't catch up to her.

And hello? This site is about 80% curmudgeons.

[Buckrub]

I'd say 90%, and I'd say I rank way down the list, but hey............I ain't the big dog here. I don't do the tellin', I get told........

[LJ3]

I'll go as high as 84% but that's it.

[Thumper]

Hey Lumpy, how did you like it when all those little "4 wheelers" cut you off when you were driving the big truck?

Ha ha! Don't even get me started. I could end up typing all day!

[Buckrub]

I'll go as high as 84% but that's it.

I defer to those smarter'n me.

[Buckrub]

Ha ha! Don't even get me started. I could end up typing all day!

Curmudgeon.