This Can't Possibly Be True

[BarryBobPosthole]

Because any time there's something I really like to eat, some asshole doctor says its bad for you.

BKB

http://www.livescience.com/51743-spicy-food-linked-with-longer-life.html

[Buckrub]

A) My wife may die by Saturday, then
B) I love it, but can't eat it. I don't know who is responsible for my design, but my mouth and my stomach are not made by the same company, and are not compatible.
C) When you are 130 years old and typing here, remember me sometimes.

[BarryBobPosthole]

I can wave the cap of the cayenne pepper jar over something and my wife accuses me of over-spicing it.

I used to have an Aunt Ruth who lived with her family in a little burg in North Texas called Howe, Texas. Its down by Tom Bean and Val Alstyne and Bonham and a lot of other little Mayberry towns in one of the prettiest parts of the world. Yeah, I said something nice about Texas. When I was a young stud and lived in that area for a while I used to go visit her and one of her favorite things to do was to feed me like I was In serious need of fattening up (it worked). My favorite memory of her is sitting in her kitchen eating her fried chicken and pickled jalapeno peppers. It was the first time I'd ever really tried peppers with anything. I still can't eat fried chicken without a pepper. But it also set me on a path of exploring all manners of spicy food.
I still have some sealed containers of the dried pepper mix that put Cliffie on the bathroom floor by the way. Travis knows about it. He put some on some chili once and couldn't finish the bowl and he's a fellow brother of the chili lovers guild.

BKB

[Buckrub]

I won't get into the reasons, but it isn't about taste. She can't eat anything, not even black pepper, not mustard, nothing.

I'm not that bad, but even jalapenos tear me up. If the little duck came down and gave me one wish, it would be to 'fix' my stomach problems and be normal even if for a little while, and not my heart problems.

[LJ3]

Before we have to read a jimmy post about eating thai elephant penises that could actually melt metal....

I love me some spicy food. The older I get, the less it likes me on the way out but I still love it. I have 3 of 4 kids pulling the hot sauce out at many meals so I consider mine, a life well spent.

[BarryBobPosthole]

My peppers, like most everything else in my garden, did jack doodley squat this year. I'm starting some in pots that I'll overwinter in the house that I guess I'll use for pepper sauce. I'm out of the batch that I sent to Eddie.

I've had a thing for habanero-ginger-mango sauce on wings. You have to be careful not to burn it but its good stuff maynard.

My oldest son and I are going to an event down in Tulsa this weekend called Wingapalooza. I may take a bib.

BKB

[HideHunter]

I buy cayenne and chipotle pepper by the pound

[Thumper]

Well since Ticboy quashed the elephant penis story, I'll simply go on record to say Lynn and I both eat stuff that would melt metal. It's a good mix ... especially when she cooks, as we don't have to make two separate batches. ;)

[Arty]

I've read other articles that spivey food does things like lower blood pressure, better digestion (go figure) lowers cholesterol, etc. so maybe it is true.

If it is, I'll live to 100. There's not much out there that I call "too hot"

[Buckrub]

I've read other articles that spivey food does things like lower blood pressure, better digestion (go figure) lowers cholesterol, etc. so maybe it is true.

If it is, I'll live to 100. There's not much out there that I call "too hot"

Clearly so, from your avatar picture.

[Big Muddy]

Hahaha....I keep that hot stuff Phole sent me in the cabinet, in a sealed container marked "Corrosive-Battery Acid", so nobody except me will even touch it....I spilled a drop of it on our granite countertop, and it ate a hole in it....I don't need a gun for intruders, I'll just throw that sheeit at 'em. ;););)

[Captain]

Before we have to read a jimmy post about eating thai elephant penises that could actually melt metal.....

That is some funny Sheit' right there. :D

[BarryBobPosthole]

Its interesting what can upset our stomachs. I eat peppers, pepper sauce, and other stuff regularly that really bothers some people but it never has caused me a problem. Other than needing an ice cream cone in the shitter. (have you checked our shitters, Honey?)
Lately I've woke up with heartburn in the night and have to get up and chew on a couple of Tums. The cause? Gatorade. G2 to be specific. Been on a binge where I would deink three or so 12 oz bottles of it a day, basically just keep a cup on ice going all day. I switched over to water and boom, heartburn stopped.
Strange.

bKB

[Thumper]

That is some funny Sheit' right there. :D

Would you happen to have your stool with you? (just trying to save you some time)

[No-till Boss]

Its interesting what can upset our stomachs. I eat peppers, pepper sauce, and other stuff regularly that really bothers some people but it never has caused me a problem. Other than needing an ice cream cone in the shitter. (have you checked our shitters, Honey?)
Lately I've woke up with heartburn in the night and have to get up and chew on a couple of Tums. The cause? Gatorade. G2 to be specific. Been on a binge where I would deink three or so 12 oz bottles of it a day, basically just keep a cup on ice going all day. I switched over to water and boom, heartburn stopped.
Strange.

bKB

Heartburn is usually the first sign of heart problems...

[Thumper]

Heartburn is usually the first sign of heart problems...

Ummm, not really. Heartburn can be a symptom of a heart attack, but actual heartburn (acid reflux/GERD) ain't from heart problems.

[BarryBobPosthole]

That's what mine is. I belch up a little liquid that burns like the dickens. Maybe heartburn is the wrong way to describe it.
BKB

[No-till Boss]

Ummm, not really. Heartburn can be a symptom of a heart attack, but actual heartburn (acid reflux/GERD) ain't from heart problems.

Maybe, but everyone I know that starts eating rolaids or tums end up with stints in their chest.

[Thumper]

Well heck, ya' made me look it up!

http://www.healthline.com/symptom/heartburn

Here's the first sentence: Heartburn is a symptom that rarely has anything to do with your heart.

[No-till Boss]

Well heck, ya' made me look it up!

http://www.healthline.com/symptom/heartburn

Here's the first sentence: Heartburn is a symptom that rarely has anything to do with your heart.

That's horseshit, i can get you about 20 testimonials that after their stints they don't have heartburn anymore.

[BarryBobPosthole]

I do know people that had heart attacks that initially thought they had heartburn. I wonder if its them mistaking the symptoms or if its actually heartburn being a precursor.

BKB

[LJ3]

Here ya go Jimmy! You can send one of these to a few people around here. Theyknowwhotheyare.

5310

[LJ3]

Another digestive issue that comes with age that makes me sad. I used to cook my steaks medium rare. Warms red center. Now that will destroy my stomach for 24 hours. Had to go to medium now and it makes me sad.

[Thumper]

Maybe, but everyone I know that starts eating rolaids or tums end up with stints in their chest.

Maybe that's because heartburn seems to increase with age. I NEVER, EVER had heartburn when I was younger. I remember my dad always complained of it and drank Pepto-Bismol like water! I reached a certain age where it really started bothering me. I could eat certain foods or drink certain liquids and I could tell you with 100% certainty I'd suffer heartburn later (usually that night). I ate Tums like candy until I started taking Omeprazole on a daily basis after being prescribed by my doctor. (It's generic Prilosec)

[Thumper]

That's horseshit, i can get you about 20 testimonials that after their stints they don't have heartburn anymore.

Okay ... nevermind Dr. Notill. ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

Its not like mine was chronic. (I use Chronic for other stuff) maybe one or two nights a week and that went on for a couple weeks before I started trying to figure out the cause.

Hasn't returned since I quit the G2.
BKB

[Thumper]

For me it started as an occassional thing. Then it got to the point I'd have it if I ate anything spicy (almost a daily occurrence). Cucumbers were REALLY bad. Tomato sauces like spaghetti or lasagna, etc. Chocolate or anything high in caffeine. Citrus juices and especially any alcoholic drink. It started out as an "every once in a while" thing, but as I got older, it progressed to the point I could tell you for a fact I would have heartburn that night. The Prilosec ended that (been on it for 4-5 years now) and I couldn't tell you the last time I had heartburn/acid reflux.

[No-till Boss]

Its not like mine was chronic. (I use Chronic for other stuff) maybe one or two nights a week and that went on for a couple weeks before I started trying to figure out the cause.

Hasn't returned since I quit the G2.
BKB

Gatorade contains a lot citric acid which could be the problem as well.

[No-till Boss]

For me it started as an occassional thing. Then it got to the point I'd have it if I ate anything spicy (almost a daily occurrence). Cucumbers were REALLY bad. Tomato sauces like spaghetti or lasagna, etc. Chocolate or anything high in caffeine. Citrus juices and especially any alcoholic drink. It started out as an "every once in a while" thing, but as I got older, it progressed to the point I could tell you for a fact I would have heartburn that night. The Prilosec ended that (been on it for 4-5 years now) and I couldn't tell you the last time I had heartburn/acid reflux.

I can eat broken glass without a problem, but even the smallest piece of cucumber hiding in a salad will hurt me. I can still do spicy, but not at the level of years ago, and I'm hoping that don't get any worse ......

[Buckrub]

NTB, you are FOS. Up to your brownie nose.

I have both conditions worse than anyone you know, worse than anyone on here, period. I survived an L.A.D M.I. I have microscopic colitis so badly that it really need surgery that I won't do.

I have two stints.

I woke up about 2 hours after I ate last night with bile in my throat so badly I was about 10 seconds from choking to death. What did I eat? A salad! With honey dijon dressing! That's it. I have acid reflux to the max. The only thing that fixes it, even remotely, is taking TWO Protonix twice a day, and about 4-6 Intacourts during flareups. But I can't, at least not for 1/2 the year........cause I'm in the donut hole and I can't afford that much Protonix and Budesonide (about $2,000 a month) AND my Crestor 20 (about $400 a month) AND my Lisinopril (cheap). I hit the donut hole last month and I'm in a pickle till January. SO I just have bile and reflux and live with it. I also have to inhale one Asmanex daily ($300 a month) and keep ProAir rescue inhalers with me at all times and go through a lot of those. I got an 'ologist' for everything, and I have become a reluctant but high quality expert on this stuff!

Ain't NO connection to my heart. None. Any connection is in the minds of you and your 20 fine friends.

That's a FACT, it ain't validly arguable, and that's that.

[No-till Boss]

Heartburn or heart attack: When to worry
Severe heartburn and heart attack can be hard to tell apart. Understand how they typically differ, and learn when to get immediate help.

By Mayo Clinic Staff
You've just eaten a big meal and feel a burning sensation in your chest. Heartburn, right? Probably, but there's a chance the chest pain is caused by reduced blood flow to your heart (angina) or an actual heart attack.

[Thumper]

And I go back to my original statememnt:


Ummm, not really. Heartburn can be a symptom of a heart attack, but actual heartburn (acid reflux/GERD) ain't from heart problems.

You bring up your 20 examples like if you have heartburn, you have heart problems. That's not correct. A headache is a symptom of a dang brain aneurism, that does NOT mean you have an aneurism if you have a headache. Big difference.

[BarryBobPosthole]

I'm saving this thread for the next time anyone on here calls me hard headed.

BKB

[Buckrub]

Heartburn or heart attack: When to worry
Severe heartburn and heart attack can be hard to tell apart. Understand how they typically differ, and learn when to get immediate help.

By Mayo Clinic Staff
You've just eaten a big meal and feel a burning sensation in your chest. Heartburn, right? Probably, but there's a chance the chest pain is caused by reduced blood flow to your heart (angina) or an actual heart attack.

What?

There is NOTHING in that whatsoever that implies in any way that the two are linked physiologically. Just that we're too stupid to tell the symptoms apart!!!!

[Thumper]

Whom are you calling hard-headed? ;)

[Buckrub]

I'm saving this thread for the next time anyone on here calls me hard headed.

BKB

There can't be two????

[Thumper]

Heartburn or heart attack: When to worry
Severe heartburn and heart attack can be hard to tell apart. Understand how they typically differ, and learn when to get immediate help.

By Mayo Clinic Staff
You've just eaten a big meal and feel a burning sensation in your chest. Heartburn, right? Probably, but there's a chance the chest pain is caused by reduced blood flow to your heart (angina) or an actual heart attack.

Actually, if you READ that ... even YOUR quote says they are not the same thing.

[No-till Boss]

What?

There is NOTHING in that whatsoever that implies in any way that the two are linked physiologically. Just that we're too stupid to tell the symptoms apart!!!!

You do see that's from Mayo don't you ?

[Buckrub]

Yes, and Mayo's quote that you are MISREADING is proving you wrong.

Read it better.

It is saying that the symptoms of both FEEL like acid reflux/indigestion, but they are NOT RELATED and NOT THE SAME and so don't think that something is 'only' indigestion since it MIGHT be something entirely UNRELATED such as angina!!

You DID go to ASU, right?? :)

[Thumper]

Also from the Mayo Clinic: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heartburn/basics/definition/con-20019545

Definition
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Heartburn is a burning pain in your chest, just behind your breastbone. The pain is often worse when lying down or bending over.

Occasional heartburn is common and no cause for alarm. Most people can manage the discomfort of heartburn on their own with lifestyle changes and over-the-counter medications.

[No-till Boss]

Actually, if you READ that ... even YOUR quote says they are not the same thing.

Maybe it's different in y'all part of the country. Do you think I'm making this up ? Hell I don't have any problems, but I've took my dad TWICE to the ER having heart-attacks. Both times, he was eating rolaids by the handfuls months prior to. Every person I personally know who has had heart problems had what they thought was heart-burn first.

[No-till Boss]

Yes, and Mayo's quote that you are MISREADING is proving you wrong.

Read it better.

It is saying that the symptoms of both FEEL like acid reflux/indigestion, but they are NOT RELATED and NOT THE SAME and so don't think that something is 'only' indigestion since it MIGHT be something entirely UNRELATED such as angina!!

You DID go to ASU, right?? :)

You want me to put my dad on the phone and let him explain it to you ? He's had a lot more heart problems than you !

[Thumper]

Well, here ya' go! (in black and white)

http://www.webmd.com/heartburn-gerd/guide/understanding-heartburn-basics

What Is Heartburn?

Despite its name, heartburn has nothing to do with the heart. Some of the symptoms, however, are similar to those of a heart attack or heart disease.

Heartburn is an irritation of the esophagus that is caused by stomach acid. This can create a burning discomfort in the upper abdomen or below the breast bone.

[Buckrub]

No you are NOT making it up! I am sure you are sincere.

I am also 100% sure you are mistaken, and misguided.

Listen closely, open your mind, grasshopper. Stop assuming anything and just listen.

The FEELING of heartburn could be related to stomach/esophagus OR it could not. If it is not, it MIGHT be angina.

The feeling to the person was/is the same many times. Thus, since they BELIEVE (wrongly) that they are having indigestion, they eat Rolaids, Ranitidine, something...........which does nothing because that's not the issue.......the two are not physiologically related, so taking antacids does nothing of course.

You made the comment that folks that have stints no longer have heartburn. Dude!! That's what we're arguing with. The two are not related, and heart stints will NOT fix hietal hernias! Or indigestion! Or acid reflux!! I KNOW FOR A FACT. Ask any doctor if you don't believe me.

The quote you are using backs up what I'm saying 100%.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Maybe it was just the spicy giant Thai elephant penises.
What does Nayo say about that?
BKb

[Thumper]

And I thought I was stubborn! Sheeeesh! ;)

Screw the stints, you could have a dang heart transplant and it wouldn't cure your "heartburn".

[Buckrub]

And I thought I was stubborn! Sheeeesh! ;)


Again...........there can be two!!!

[BarryBobPosthole]

I think you guys are being dismissive of NoTill's opinions here.

BKB

[Thumper]

I think you guys are being dismissive of NoTill's opinions here.

BKB

SD'er! :D

[Buckrub]

But not of NTB. Just of his wrong opinions, not the right ones!!!

[No-till Boss]

Digestion Issues
Not every digestive problem can be attributed to a heart issue, but changes in your digestion or appetite can be an indicator of heart failure. And your digestion can be a warning sign for an impending heart attack if you’re experiencing terrible heartburn with nausea and vomiting. When your heart isn’t working properly, your stomach and other digestive organs don’t receive enough blood, which interrupts the digestion process. You could feel full after only a small amount of food or feel nausea after you eat because your stomach doesn’t have the blood it needs to digest your food.
Also, if your heart isn’t pumping enough blood and fluid is getting built up in your lungs, they will swell and cause pressure on your digestive system, resulting in a feeling of fullness or nausea. If you’ve had heart problems in the past, or you have other symptoms, these digestive issues could be a clue that you’re on the road to heart trouble.


Read More: Warning Signs That You Are Headed For Heart Trouble | http://totalnewswire.com/heart-trouble-warning-signs/?trackback=tsmclip

[BarryBobPosthole]

Can we just get back to lion shaming someone?

BKB

[Buckrub]

Digestion Issues
Not every digestive problem can be attributed to a heart issue, but changes in your digestion or appetite can be an indicator of heart failure. And your digestion can be a warning sign for an impending heart attack if you’re experiencing terrible heartburn with nausea and vomiting. When your heart isn’t working properly, your stomach and other digestive organs don’t receive enough blood, which interrupts the digestion process. You could feel full after only a small amount of food or feel nausea after you eat because your stomach doesn’t have the blood it needs to digest your food.
Also, if your heart isn’t pumping enough blood and fluid is getting built up in your lungs, they will swell and cause pressure on your digestive system, resulting in a feeling of fullness or nausea. If you’ve had heart problems in the past, or you have other symptoms, these digestive issues could be a clue that you’re on the road to heart trouble.


Read More: Warning Signs That You Are Headed For Heart Trouble | http://totalnewswire.com/heart-trouble-warning-signs/?trackback=tsmclip

My last:

But you said the OPPOSITE Of that. You said that if a man gets stints in his heart, he'll stop having indigestion. That's balderdash.

I'm done.

[BarryBobPosthole]

My last

I'm done.


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahahaha haHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHahahaha hahaHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHahaha hahaha

[No-till Boss]

My last:

But you said the OPPOSITE Of that. You said that if a man gets stints in his heart, he'll stop having indigestion. That's balderdash.

I'm done.

That has happened to my dad twice, the second time he had bypass and has never had a rolaid since.

[Thumper]

I give up. What was the question? ;)

[LJ3]

Do lion burgers cause heartburn?

[Chicken Dinner]

I thought George Bush caused heartburn?

[BarryBobPosthole]

Oh he did. He for sure did.

BKB

[Buckrub]

Because he was such a Lion.

[Big Muddy]

Okay, so I gotta quershun....if Bucky gets the screaming sheeits, does that mean his neighbor is gonna die of a heart attack??? ;)

[FooBang]

If this article is true, I'm gonna live to eleventy!

[DeputyDog]

My wife had a lot of problems with heartburn and her doctor told her to reduce the amount of caffiene and chocolate. She did and it took care of the problem.