Well, wish me luck ...

[Thumper]

I'm headed over to Tampa for a meeting with the head shrink to determine if I'm a nutcase or not. Actually, in the shuffle, I don't even remember why I'm seeing him. I think it has something to do with my memory ... or lack thereof ... or something like that ... (I don't remember persactly). Anyway, I have an appointment first thing this morning, then Lynn and I will hit one of our favorite places for lunch, then maybe a few thrift stores for eBay junk before returning home after a full day. Youse guys have fun and try to play nice! ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

You probably shouldn't mention your 111 cats.

And best of luck! We love ya just like you are, so no personality changes please!

BKB

[Big Muddy]

Good luck, Thump....prolly a good idea to not tell them you are transgender, ;)

[airbud7]

agree^...a transgender with 111 cats don't look good ;)

Good luck Thumper

[Chicken Dinner]

I thought he was just a cross-dresser with 111 cats?

[quercus alba]

cross dresser, 111 cats, throw in a little minority blood line and a democrat voting registration= government check

[Sunshine]

"Luck!" Don't wear your pink pants or you're a goner! :)

[Thumper]

Having lunch with Lynn now. The shrink was damn good at her job. Within the first 5 minutes, she had me crying. I can't believe she found the "button" so fast. Turns out to be PTSD. I've kept it hidden for 40+ years, but she saw through it and after just a couple questions, I cracked and used half a box of tissues from her desk. Now she's getting the ball rolling with the powers that be to verify the diagnosis and get me into the "service related disability" bracket. BUT, I foresee a major stumbling block. I KNOW where the PTSD came from, but there's no official record. There were only three of us on this particular "mission". We were all in Intel. One has since died and I have no clue where the other is. I don't even remember his name or rank (Captain at the time I think). The last I heard, he was in Hawaii. My SEAL buddy had the same problem. He has a MAJOR case of PTSD, but there is no record of 90% of his missions. How do you go about telling the U. S. military about an event that nobody knows about and there is no written record of? I see an uphill battle in my immediate future. :-(

[LJ3]

I'm glad she'll be able to help you, man. There's plenty of creative ways for her to move things forward. She doesn't have to know all the details or have to prove which specific incidents were the catalyst in order to move treatment forward.

You got this my bruvva!

[BarryBobPosthole]

You may see things differently than I do, but I think I'd value her diagnosis more than getting disability from VA. That don't mean I think you don't deservie it or need it, I didn't say that. But as your friend, I'd rather see you get treatment that can hopefully solve or improve the problem rather than get a few bucks from Uncle. Fuck, I hope you get both. I think you know what I mean.
Sounds like real progress was made today!

BKB

[airbud7]

Love You Thump! Forever!

[Bwana]

Hope they can make it work for you buddy.

[Thumper]

Oh, to be honest, I wasn't even thinking of any sort of financial benefit. I'm not even sure if there is any. The only real benefit I'd realize is to receive what I was promised in the first place. FREE VA care for life. Congress, in their infinite wisdom, took that away in 1998 (I believe) and came up with a copay system based on income. That's a major reason Lynn and I can't marry, I'd lose a major portion of my benefits due to an income ceiling. In '98, I figured they'd grand-father in the Vets already in the system and start the program with new Vets from that point forward. Once service connected, the copay goes away, plus I'm covered anywhere in the world, not just where I can find a VA hospital. In the states, I'm covered for emergencies (car wreck, accident, heart attack, whatever). The VA will pick up the tab and then transport me to a VA facility if possible. What I would enjoy is that same coverage if I happen to be traveling out of the country and have a medical issue. That's the peace of mind I'd enjoy. Naaa, I'm not looking for any monetary (cash) compensation. Actually, I wasn't "looking" for anything. This all came out during the diagnosis. I was kind of railroaded. I didn't bring it up, the doctor led me down the path, then popped the question out of the blue. I was busted, then the emotions flooded out once I was "found out". She (the doc) is GOOD at her job and read me like a book.

[airbud7]

Read every bit of that Thump^.......Your mind is sound....your IQ is high Bro....

[LJ3]

Your mind is sound....your IQ is high Bro....

Let's not get carried away here FFS!

[Captain]

Damn man sorry to hear this on one hand and glad to hear it on the other. Glad for the fact they were able to discover the issue and hopefully will give you longer/better quality of life!
Let me know if you need some Carolina mud or moonshine. I think that would hep'ya......

[Thumper]

Well, the group of shrinks all put their heads together and pooled their notes ... I guess the result is, between the PTSD, the economy crashing and taking my business with it, THEN the aneurysm thing and the resulting major medical problems, not to mention the financial ramifications of losing my business and having an extended hospital stay/recovery and numerous subsequent surgeries, being forced to retire ... well, I guess I'm a mess ... and according to them, understandably so. Heck, I thought I was handling it pretty well if I do say so myself ... but will admit my age and physical problems play pretty heavily on me at times. The PTSD? I've always done a good job of hiding that, but it really surprised me how fast I crashed and burned once the doc started doing her thing. Then Lynn had to pipe in and mention the recurring nightmares to back it up. I feel like a frigging sissy. :(

This may sound kinda asinine, but one of my main concerns is my CCW. I'm getting close to renewal time and it's been so long I don't remember persactly, but I believe there were questions on the application such as: "Have you ever been diagnosed with depression?" ... "Have you been prescribed any anti-depressants?" That sort of stuff. I've never had any suicidal tendencies ... which I believe was another question. I'm sure there were other related questions I can't recall at this time ... but I think if they pulled my CCW, I WOULD feel depressed! I'm not sure I know where this is headed. Today I was given additional testing and a Rx for anti-depressants and sleeping pills (I've NEVER been a good sleeper and they say that can be a contributing factor). Heck, I have no clue what's going on, I'm just following doctor's orders and going with the flow to see what happens. I'd MUCH rather just take a couple of heavy bong hits every night ... who the hell could be depressed after that? ;)

I guess I'm learning that you don't necessarily have to FEEL depressed, or ACT depressed, to BE depressed. Huh?

[Captain]

When Reading your post above, the CCW and gun ownership was the first thing that came to my mind. I started to mention it in my first reply but thought I better not bring it up, but it would appear you are already thinking about it.
What you are going through can effect that status I certainly hope not but I've see. It MANY times.

[LJ3]

Well, the group of shrinks all put their heads together and pooled their notes ... I guess the result is, between the PTSD, the economy crashing and taking my business with it, THEN the aneurysm thing and the resulting major medical problems, not to mention the financial ramifications of losing my business and having an extended hospital stay/recovery and numerous subsequent surgeries, being forced to retire ... well, I guess I'm a mess ... and according to them, understandably so. Heck, I thought I was handling it pretty well if I do say so myself ... but will admit my age and physical problems play pretty heavily on me at times. The PTSD? I've always done a good job of hiding that, but it really surprised me how fast I crashed and burned once the doc started doing her thing. Then Lynn had to pipe in and mention the recurring nightmares to back it up. I feel like a frigging sissy. :(

This may sound kinda asinine, but one of my main concerns is my CCW. I'm getting close to renewal time and it's been so long I don't remember persactly, but I believe there were questions on the application such as: "Have you ever been diagnosed with depression?" ... "Have you been prescribed any anti-depressants?" That sort of stuff. I've never had any suicidal tendencies ... which I believe was another question. I'm sure there were other related questions I can't recall at this time ... but I think if they pulled my CCW, I WOULD feel depressed! I'm not sure I know where this is headed. Today I was given additional testing and a Rx for anti-depressants and sleeping pills (I've NEVER been a good sleeper and they say that can be a contributing factor). Heck, I have no clue what's going on, I'm just following doctor's orders and going with the flow to see what happens. I'd MUCH rather just take a couple of heavy bong hits every night ... who the hell could be depressed after that? ;)

I guess I'm learning that you don't necessarily have to FEEL depressed, or ACT depressed, to BE depressed. Huh?

Dude man. try not to overthink it at first. I don't mind tellin' ya I've spent more time in a therapists office than some people have at work :) It's a process and it works, you just can't be your worst critic. One thing it took me a long ass time to realize is that there is no such thing as normal. Every single person has a different normal. And yes, you are dead right about depression. You're not a sissy and chances are very good you'll learn more about yourself than you thought possible. It's a grea thing you're doing. It's hard as fuck sometimes but it's something you will not regret.

[Thumper]

Yeah, I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now. I'm gonna pretty much lay low and continue on my normal path to see how things go. To be honest, I never knew there was a problem, but Lynn did, and put a call in to my doc to get this ball rolling. I've started the meds (very low dose and increasing over time with close monitoring), so I'm just gonna kick back and see what happens. I have to send out some kudos to the VA. They catch a ton of hell, but all it took was a call from Lynn and they went right to work. I was immediately scheduled for an MRI of my brain (yes, they found it) and it expanded from there. The number of doctors, tests, consults and personal attention I've received the past couple of months is mind-boggling. They've left no stone un-turned and the Geriatric Psychiatrist I worked with today was spot-on with most everything she did or said. She was good ... really good. She got answers out of me that I didn't even realize I'd given her!

I will say I'm looking forward to the cruise next month to get a bit of R&R.

[Bwana]

Just knowing, or admitting, what the problem is will go a long way towards a solution.

You are on the right track Jimmy.

[Chicken Dinner]

Dang, Thump. It's good you've got Lynn keeping an eye on you and sounds like the Docs at the VA are on it. Did they mention whether that may have had something to do with the pink pants? Just wondering.:D

[Thumper]

Well, nothing about the pants, but the doc did ask why I say "BITE ME" so much. I told her it was just a habit I picked up by hanging around this place. So ... BITE ME! ;)

[Captain]

Let me talk to that doctor and the next time you go they will give you a white coat that ties in the back. :D

[Thumper]

They'd prolly consider me a certified nutbag just for hanging around a group like this! :banghead