You know you are in for a bad when...

[Captain]

You get up at 3 AM get ready to hunt, drink 3 cups of coffee, drive to hunt club, get on Gator and drive about 5 miles back into the woods to within a half mile of your stand, decide to pee before you walk to the stand only to find out you put your long john bottoms on backwards and no way to get your junk out. And it seems that when this happens the urge to pee escalates 10 fold in a hurry.
I got more pair of long jons with holes cut in the ass end than not...
You would think at my ripe old age I would have learned that lesson already!

[Thumper]

I think I'd be putting my Buck knife to good use. (Just be mindful of working around your junk!!)

[Captain]

Oh I did.... not much of a choice, cut 'em, strip down in the cold morning and re-dress, or pee in your pants.
The knife seemed the easiest of all options.

[Arty]

When that happens to me I normally just route my Johnson down the pants leg and lay the end of my business on the ground. Much better than cutting a hole in long jons.


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[Big Muddy]

Cap, in the military, that's called "Field Expediency"....better known as good ole common sense....sounds like you got it down pat, Cap. ;)

[Thumper]

When that happens to me I normally just route my Johnson down the pants leg and lay the end of my business on the ground. Much better than cutting a hole in long jons.

That's what any AVERAGE person would do ... but we're talkin' 'bout Cappy here. ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

How many times I gotta tell ya, yellow in front brown in back.

BKB

[Captain]

That's what any AVERAGE person would do ... but we're talkin' 'bout Cappy here. ;)

Right, if either one of you goobers grabbed your mess like a hoe handle, you'd piss on your last three fingers...

[quercus alba]

I was just fixing to bring in a bifocals joke but cap'n shot me down with a preemptive strike

[Bwana]

Rather than risk a slip of the knife, wouldn't it just be easier to unbuckle your belt and pull the waist band down or are you one of those union suit kind of guys? :)

[Thumper]

No rear flap I suppose ... he has to get nekkid to poop in the woods. ;)

[BarryBobPosthole]

I was gonna say. I'm a fan of the union suit type of thermals and they have an exit front and back.

BKb

[Big Skyz]

People still wear one piece long johns? Really? Ever since I switched over to two piece insulated underwear like Under Armor or any of the cheaper knock off brands backwards issues have never been a problem. That and the newer two piece stuff works 10X better than any pair itchy old long johns I ever owned.

[jb]

You need to know how he dresses for cold weather. He looks like the Michelin Man, walks like him too.
I wonder how he gets his boots on the correct foot, he can't see them.
Now the sad part about this is he dresses like this when it's just below 70 degrees.
Damn Southern Boys, it just sad I tell you, just sad.

[Captain]

Ah bite me JB. I don't wear near as many clothes since I got heaters in all my stands... :D

[Big Skyz]

Heaters in the stands are for those days just under 70 degrees right? :D

[Captain]

And there Big Sky piling on...
at least my brain ain't frozen all winter.

[Nandy]

Rather than risk a slip of the knife, wouldn't it just be easier to unbuckle your belt and pull the waist band down or are you one of those union suit kind of guys? :)

I dont get it either, I would have done as Bwana said....