Some jokes for Len whose bored and in the horsepistol

Ok, so lets everyone try to contribute. At least the funny ones.

So, this isn't a joke, but actually is true. the Thai word for 'joke' is 'Poot Len'.

Appropriate.

BKB

Hah! I'm beginning to wonder if all Len needs is a huge poot!

A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his follow up visit the doctor talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful."

They actually talk that way down heah.

Doctor to nurse: How is that little boy, the one that swallowed the ten quarters?
Nurse to doctor: No change yet.

Doctor Barry had sex with one of his patients and had felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

Every once in a while, however, he'd hear that soothing voice, within himself, trying to reassure him: "Barry, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to have sex with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. Let it go."

But invariably another voice would bring him back to reality: "Barry, you're a veterinarian!" ;)

Oldie, but goodie....

Two lawyers decide to go fishing....with nothing else to talk about, one says to the other, "If I came to your house, and screwed your wife, and she had a baby, would that, legally, make you and me kin???....the other lawyer thought for a moment, then replies, "I don't know if that'd make us kin, but it sure would make us even." ;)

Three doctors are in a duck blind and a bird flies overhead.

The genereal practitioner looks at it and says, 'Looks like a duck, flies like a duck, it's probably a duck,' shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away.

The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, 'Hmmmm, green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound, might be a duck,' he raises his gun to shoot but the bird is well gone.

A third bird flies overhead. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, then turns to the pathologist and says, 'Go see if that was a duck.'

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for breakfast and some quality time.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and felt he needed to stay in bed. To add to his misery, he knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives together and would be very disappointed. Fortunately, his wife came to the rescue and said she would take their granddaughter out for her weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather, who was still in bed.

"Well, did you enjoy your ride with Grandma?" he asked.

Not really, Papa, it was boring. We just drove around while Grandma smiled at everyone we saw. We didn't see a single asshole, queer, lesbian, piece of crap, horse's ass, socialist-left-wing-Obama-lover, blind bastard, dipshit, Muslim-camel-humper or son-of-a-bitch anywhere we went."

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn't in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?' To which he responded: 'I found the remote.'..

Little girl, missing her front teeth, walks into a petshop and says, "Mithter, I need a widdle bunny." Petshop owner thought she was the cutest thing and said, "Well fine, Sweetie. Do you want a cute little black bunny or a fluffy little white bunny?" Little girl thinks a minute and says, "I don't think my thnake much givths a thit."