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This getting old thing is for the birds ...
We bought this house the summer of 1989. Right after the move-in, Lynn went to the local supermarket to begin stocking our empty fridge. We had no idea what all was around the area, so I told her to keep an eye out for a barber shop while she was out. With packing everything up in California, tying up all the loose ends and moving to Florida, house hunting, etc. etc, a haircut had been low on my priority list ... but I was way overdue!
There happened to be a barber shop a few doors down from the grocery store, in the same strip center. The name of the place was Arnie's Barber Shop. Lynn stuck her head in the door and asked if Arnie was there. Arnie was at the first chair and responded to her. She asked how much a haircut costs, Arnie hollered out $7.00 and she continued on her way. She got home, told me where the shop was and told me to ask for Arnie. I headed over there and the minute I walked in, Arnie started in on me. I guess since he'd never seen me before, he assumed I was the one Lynn had asked pricing for. He asked if I'd sent my DAUGHTER in earlier to ask about pricing. I told him that was my wife and he busted out laughing! He said, there's no way she'd have given anyone, as ugly as me, a second look! When I got into his chair, I started to tell him how I wanted my hair cut. He laid down his comb and clippers, stepped in front of the chair, looked at me and said, "You came in here for a haircut didn't you?' I said, "uhhh ... yeah". He asked if I tell my doctor how to do brain surgery, then told me to just sit still and he'd cut my hair! I learned on future visits, you don't tell him how to cut your hair because he'll totally ignore you and cut it the way HE wants to cut it. EVERY trip in was a fun time and everyone there joined in the fun. Talking to Arnie was like trying to have a conversation with Don Rickles. No matter what you threw at him, you'd better duck for cover, because he'd come right back and nail you!
Arnie was a hardcore Republican and had no problem letting you know about it. He had all sorts of Conservative signs, bumper stickers, etc, all over the shop. He could also be a touch on the racist side, but not in a mean, disgusting way, he just had a problem with "social programs", so to speak. In all the years I knew him, I was only able to get the best of him ONE time. My dad was in town, traveling for business, and stated he needed to get a haircut while here. I filled him in on Arnie and we devised a plan to "F" with him. I was also due for a haircut, so I drove dad over, but he stayed in the car. I went in, picked a number, sat down and started chatting with Arnie, 5 mins. later, my dad walked in with a clipboard and never said a word, but walked around the shop "taking notes". Arnie asked if he could help him and dad looked at him and asked if he was the owner. Arnie said yes and asked what he could do for him. Dad looked down at his clipboard, glanced around a bit, then looked at Arnie and said, "I'm with the EEOC and I notice you have no minority barbers working here." Ha ha ha ha! I thought Arnie was gonna pop a vein in his neck before dad and I busted out laughing! That's when I introduced my dad to him. Dad got his haircut and never again set foot in the shop (he lived in Seattle), but Arnie NEVER once failed to ask about him whenever I was in.
Arnie LOVED John Wayne and had photos all over the shop of "The Duke". I gave him a real nice, framed print for Christmas one year and it hung in the shop for many years. Arnie was an avid fisherman and if he wasn't cutting hair, he was out in his bass boat on one of the local lakes. One year he took what he called his trip of a lifetime and went salmon fishing in Alaska. He always talked about wanting to go back, but never made it. He was also a regular at his church, even though he worked 6 days a week and church time cut into his fishing time. I remember, on my first visit, I tipped him $1.00 after my haircut and it became a running joke as through all those years, I continued tipping him $1.00! When I had all my medical issues and was in and out of the hospital, whenever I went in for a haircut, he always refused to charge me. He'd just brush the hair off my shoulders, shove me out of his chair and tell me to get well. Anyway, a few years back, he decided to retire and sold his shop to one of his barbers. I ran into Arnie one evening at Walmart and asked how he was doing now that he's retired and he said he missed working so much, he opened another shop. He handed me his new business card, which directed me to "Arnie's Barber Pole". It's a small shop, just 4 chairs, but easy to manage, and Arnie continued to be my only barber! Then Covid hit and all barbers were required to close. Being the hater of "big government" that he was, he fought the shut-down, but had to follow the rules. In the meantime, I picked up a nice set of clippers on eBay and Lynn started cutting my hair. This continued all through Covid and even when barber shops started opening back up, we just continued on with Lynn cutting my hair.
Yesterday, I really needed a haircut and decided to drop in and see Arnie. Lynn was with me and we walked into the shop, which was pretty busy as it was Saturday. The first thing I noticed was Arnie was not there. Lynn asked where Arnie was and we were informed he'd died a couple years ago! We were not only a little embarrassed, but I got pretty choked up. As we waited, I told Lynn I needed to go. After the past 35 years, just sitting there watching someone else manning Arnie's chair, was a little too much for me to handle. It just wasn't the same shop anymore. There was only ONE Arnie and nobody will ever be able to replace him. As it stands now, I may just continue having Lynn cut my hair, There's not that much of it left anyway. In fact, once I started losing my hair, I always asked Arnie when he was going to start giving me a discount. He'd just laugh and tell me he should be charging me extra just because I'm so damned ugly!
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