Colonoscopy Time!

Or as they call it in Arkansas, time to fertilize the front yard! I blew off my doc’s orders to get one last year, I figured he was only trying to make his EOY numbers anyway. So he caught me on my last recent visit and called to make sure I’d scheduled. This is my virginal anal probe so I’m not sure what to expect. Hopefully they have good drugs. i go at 7:00 AM so that means I’ll get to lie naked in a cold room for only a couple of hours.
This is my first and hopefully last post about my health of 2018.
The fun begins at 4:00 this afternoon though. Stop on by!

BYOCB

BKB

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ps...I just got my 1 1/2 year ct scan results. I’m all clear!
Viva Renaldo!

Good news on the scan. Based on your comment to me on the other thread, being anally probed makes you grumpy...


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The drugs they give you for it are a modern miracle of science. fantastic! I shit you not. See what I did there?

The colonoscopy is a piece of cake. Now the prep? That's a whole 'nuther story! I don't envy you ... I've had 3 or 4 so far ... the prep SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICKS!!! :angry1

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thumper

The colonoscopy is a piece of cake. Now the prep? That's a whole 'nuther story! I don't envy you ... I've had 3 or 4 so far ... the prep SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICKS!!! :angry1

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So......you’ve been abducted by aliens three times?

BKB

Or four, can’t remember. The first time I came up clean (no pun intended), so I was good for another 5 years. The next one they removed about 20-30 polyps, so they put me on an annual check. I’ve kind of lost track since I started the yearly b/s.

....like a dose of salts through a widow woman.

Now I know what that old saw means.

BKB

Mine is scheduled for April 13 (Friday)
I get one every 5 years. Piece of cake, no pain, just a nice nap, after your start chitten clear liquid.
The biggest chore is drinking the gallon of lemon juice.
Enjoy, usually there is a very nice looking 20 year old nurse there to help stick the hose up your ass. :fine

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thumper

The colonoscopy is a piece of cake. Now the prep? That's a whole 'nuther story! I don't envy you ... I've had 3 or 4 so far ... the prep SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICKS!!! :angry1

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I don’t think what you had done in those back alley’s in Thailand qualify as colonoscopies.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Trav

I don’t think what you had done in those back alley’s in Thailand qualify as colonoscopies.

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Make fun .... your day is coming young man! ;)

I'm sure I've told this story before, but I'll recycle it here. It'll show how "painless" the procedure actually is.

I went in for my first colonoscopy and of course. expected the worse. I made it through the prep, which was torture, then went in the next morning for the procedure. The nurse started getting me hooked up and the doc started explaining the procedure to me, then he turned the monitor so that I could have a good view of it, and started aiming the camera around the room showing me how it all worked. It was pretty interesting. Then the nurse asked me to follow her as she helped me off the gurney. She took me into a small room next door where 3-4 other guys were sitting, then we all started talking about what we should expect during the procedure. The nurse was sitting at a desk doing some paperwork and one of us finally asked her when they were going to get started and in what order we'd be taken. She looked at us kind of funny and said, "You guys are finished with the procedure, this is the recovery room!" We were just there so she could monitor us until the drugs wore off enough for us to be released! Not ONE of us had a clue we'd already been through the procedure. Man! Those are some GOOD drugs they use!

I had an endoscopy, which is from the other end. I was having a conversation with the doctor and woke up in mid sentence. Only the doc wasn’t there. It was lights out in a second. And no sense of a lapse of time at all when I woke up.
Strange.

BKB

The best part of goodhunting rigvht now is BBPs "colonoscopy time" thread is 1st on the list and BigSkyd "get ready to be blown away" is next

Oh! Sorry P-hole ... this may be a bit late, but during the prep, DON'T WIPE! Delicately pat dry .... :thumbsup

Too late!

BKB

All clear! No polyps no nuttin. Farting like a clydesdale but they say that’s par for the course.

BKB

Good deal! So it'll be a couple more days before we can tell you you're FOS again? ;)

I’m working on that right now!

Man that was a good cheeseburger.

BKB

Congrats! I guess this means you can't wear white to a wedding anymore!

Ps....I still can't believe people don't find these two threads together funny

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Julie has a message for ya' P-hole ...


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Hahahahahaha you have her pegged pretty well

BKb