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Thread: I got a real dilema, this morning....

  1. #1
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    I got a real dilema, this morning....

    I'm in my deer stand, and plan on staying here until around 1 pm....I forgot my wide-mouth pee jug, so I'm trying to figure out how to pee in this little Coke bottle.

    If my johnson was the size of Thump's, I'd just stick it "inside" the little neck of the bottle.
    Southern Gentleman

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    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    If it were the size of mine, it would reach the ground!

    FWIW, I did a bit of research many years ago. I'd always carried a pee bottle with me, but at one point, I decided it was not worth the effort. One morning I pee'd out of my stand and it had zero effect on how the deer acted, except for the fact one little button buck and his little sister walked right by my tree and stopped to sniff the wet spot. It didn't seem to affect their behavior in any way. I killed a nice 7-point (plus a couple of stickers) that day and from that point forward, I just started peeing out of my stand.
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

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    Administrator Captain's Avatar
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    Pocket knife, cut the top off from the bottle. Pour the pee out the window of the stand. A buck will be there shortly.
    A Government that pays people to do nothing destorys their willingness to do anything!

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    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    Oh yeah, I forgot you hunt from condos. I was in a tree stand.
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

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    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    I heard once that human pee loses its scent quickly. No idea if that's true. I use a empty gatorade bottle.

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  6. #6
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Condo won't matter....I'll just hang it out the window, close my eyes until I get an image of a nekkid Selena Gomez....it'll stiffen right up, then I can pee a straight line into that log pile over yonder about 50 feet.
    Southern Gentleman

  7. #7
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Btw, ya'll remember those sweet taters that I "accidently" dropped near my deer stand???....the day'um coyotes ate every single one of them....the game camera caught them, chowing down on them at 3 am.

    I know yotes love watermelons, but had no idea they like sweet taters, too.
    Southern Gentleman

  8. #8
    Grand High Exalted Taser-Master
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    the protein in urine breaks down pretty quick, couple of hours at the most. I had a friend that used to hunt pipelines and he claimed you could scratch up the dirt with your boot toe then pee in it and every deer that came along would stop and check it out
    "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones"
    Albert Einstein

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    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) jb's Avatar
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    Never had a problem peeing on the ground next to my deer blind, kick some dirt and leaves over it and keep on hunting.
    In my ladder stand by the time the pee reaches the ground it's spread over a 10 yard radius, then I just open a bottle of apple cider and let the wind do the same thing with a few drops of that.
    This scent chit is just a way for some companies to take your hard earned $$
    The older I get, the better I was. I also forget my password and have to have Len reset it for me

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    Administrator Nandy's Avatar
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    as many mentioned, pee off your stand, it wont hurt a thing...

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    Administrator LJ3's Avatar
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    What if you ate asparagus?

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    Administrator Captain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LJ3 View Post
    What if you ate asparagus?
    Don't nobody eat that shit!
    A Government that pays people to do nothing destorys their willingness to do anything!

  13. #13
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Well, I guess ya'll are some smart fellers....this little gal came to visit my pee spot about 10 ft. from my deer stand, just a few minutes ago.

    I'll fix the day'um pic, when I get home !!! Frigging iphone.


    imlildoe.jpg


    ROTATED AND CORRECTED THE MOFO !!!!!
    Last edited by Big Muddy; 11-29-2016 at 12:23 PM.
    Southern Gentleman

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    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Bwana's Avatar
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    BM, you want me to call my sister?

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    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    She's just on the trail of an old goat with a weak bladder.

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

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    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Chicken Dinner's Avatar
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    The thought of a guy your age being able to pee 10' is cracking me up. You'd be lucky to clear the window sill in the blind...

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Muddy View Post
    Well, I guess ya'll are some smart fellers....this little gal came to visit my pee spot about 10 ft. from my deer stand, just a few minutes ago.

    I'll fix the day'um pic, when I get home !!! Frigging iphone.


    Attachment 8220.
    "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Raoul Duke

  17. #17
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BarryBobPosthole View Post
    She's just on the trail of an old goat with a weak bladder.

    BKB
    Ha, yep, but it's consistent.....consistently dribbling !!!
    Southern Gentleman

  18. #18
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    What's that old joke about dribbling before you shoot?

    I still wince every time I take a piss expecting some sort of extreme pain. I remember my Dad saying once when he was in his 70s that nothing felt better than a good strong piss. I kinda know what he meant now!

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  19. #19
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Ha, Chick, I wish.... !!!....10 ft. is how far I tossed the pee can out the window.
    Southern Gentleman

  20. #20
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bwana View Post
    BM, you want me to call my sister?
    Bwana, I got this friggin' iphone set to correctly post my pics, but the day'um thing just don't like me.
    Southern Gentleman

  21. #21
    Administrator Captain's Avatar
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    My dad says after you turn 80 you are doing one of two things.
    Peeing, or looking for a place to Pee.
    A Government that pays people to do nothing destorys their willingness to do anything!

  22. #22
    Administrator Nandy's Avatar
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    OK, can't take it any longer, will someone let me in the inside joke of "call bwana Sister"?

  23. #23
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Ha, Cap, I think I've told this story previously, but when my Dad was in assisted-living with that day'um dementia, a nurse would come by once a month to pick up his urine sample, which he would leave in a bottle in the bathroom for her....in the later stages of his condition, the nurse called me, one morning, and said that he didn't leave any pee in the bottle for her, and that Dad had gotten a little testy with her about it.

    I dropped by for my daily visit with him, and asked him why there was no pee sample....he said, in no uncertain terms, that it was in the bathroom....I checked, but there was no pee in the bottle....I showed him the empty bottle, and he asked, "What's, that???---that's not my pee bottle, it's the other bottle."

    I looked around, and found his dentures container was slap full of yellow, NOT blue, dentures cleanser....I rinsed it out, then walked back into the room, holding the container...he glanced over and said, "Told ya."

    While it can sometimes lead to humorous situations, that day'um disease is just sheeity, for an otherwise healthy individual..
    Southern Gentleman

  24. #24
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    Hahahaha, good story Eddie.
    Viva Renaldo!

  25. #25
    Administrator Captain's Avatar
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    Dang Muddy, that just ain't right!
    A Government that pays people to do nothing destorys their willingness to do anything!

  26. #26
    Administrator Nandy's Avatar
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    My grandpaw in my mother side worked in construction amongst other things. His foreman helmet was his pride. I was told that while i was a toddler on one occasion I received hiM on the door, took his helmet from him and proceed to pee in it... He did not touch me, I am named after him.

  27. #27
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    i think I told ya'll this one, too....one of the worst beatings (yes, beating !!!), I ever got was when I was about 6 yrs, old, from my Dad at our old deer camp back in the '50s....sleepy-eyed, I got up in the middle of the night to pee, and just walked out on the porch of the old shotgun house, which everyone bunked in, back then.

    How was I to know that the old black camp cook had come in early to start breakfast, and was sitting on the steps, right below the porch, smoking a cigarette???....he squalled like a panther, and woke up everybody.

    Two things I remember--- my Dad grabbing me by my pajama tops, and dragging me behind the old out-house, and the sight of the old camp cook, standing there with his old greasy hat dripping, and that soaked cigarette, hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

    My butt got whooped good, and I couldn't sit down for a week....I deserved it, too. !!!
    Last edited by Big Muddy; 11-29-2016 at 03:16 PM.
    Southern Gentleman

  28. #28
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    These stories remind me of the Patrick McManus story about Pat and his buddy Crazy Eddie Muldoon peeing in the jars in the attic of the garage.

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  29. #29
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    My g'kids tell me to write a book....no way !!!....all my childhood buddies would sue the sheeit outta me.
    Southern Gentleman

  30. #30
    Grand High Exalted Taser-Master
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    I see Posthole and I have similar taste in literature. The title of that story is called The Experiment. I particularly remember the part where crazy Eddie's (wonder if it was our Eddie) dad had a six foot switch warming it up on a fence post
    "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones"
    Albert Einstein

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