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Thread: Colonoscopy Time!

  1. #1
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    Colonoscopy Time!

    Or as they call it in Arkansas, time to fertilize the front yard! I blew off my doc’s orders to get one last year, I figured he was only trying to make his EOY numbers anyway. So he caught me on my last recent visit and called to make sure I’d scheduled. This is my virginal anal probe so I’m not sure what to expect. Hopefully they have good drugs. i go at 7:00 AM so that means I’ll get to lie naked in a cold room for only a couple of hours.
    This is my first and hopefully last post about my health of 2018.
    The fun begins at 4:00 this afternoon though. Stop on by!

    BYOCB

    BKB

    F3D95F84-BEFB-4EC9-A449-3C9E1662711D.jpg

    ps...I just got my 1 1/2 year ct scan results. I’m all clear!
    Viva Renaldo!
    Viva Renaldo!

  2. #2
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Chicken Dinner's Avatar
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    Good news on the scan. Based on your comment to me on the other thread, being anally probed makes you grumpy...


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    "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Raoul Duke

  3. #3
    Administrator LJ3's Avatar
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    The drugs they give you for it are a modern miracle of science. fantastic! I shit you not. See what I did there?
    If we all threw our problems in a pile, and you saw everyone else's problems-- you'd take yours back.

  4. #4
    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    The colonoscopy is a piece of cake. Now the prep? That's a whole 'nuther story! I don't envy you ... I've had 3 or 4 so far ... the prep SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICKS!!!
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

  5. #5
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thumper View Post
    The colonoscopy is a piece of cake. Now the prep? That's a whole 'nuther story! I don't envy you ... I've had 3 or 4 so far ... the prep SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICKS!!!
    So......you’ve been abducted by aliens three times?

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  6. #6
    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    Or four, can’t remember. The first time I came up clean (no pun intended), so I was good for another 5 years. The next one they removed about 20-30 polyps, so they put me on an annual check. I’ve kind of lost track since I started the yearly b/s.

  7. #7
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    ....like a dose of salts through a widow woman.

    Now I know what that old saw means.

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  8. #8
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) jb's Avatar
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    Mine is scheduled for April 13 (Friday)
    I get one every 5 years. Piece of cake, no pain, just a nice nap, after your start chitten clear liquid.
    The biggest chore is drinking the gallon of lemon juice.
    Enjoy, usually there is a very nice looking 20 year old nurse there to help stick the hose up your ass.
    The older I get, the better I was. I also forget my password and have to have Len reset it for me

  9. #9
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Trav's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thumper View Post
    The colonoscopy is a piece of cake. Now the prep? That's a whole 'nuther story! I don't envy you ... I've had 3 or 4 so far ... the prep SUCKS BIG DONKEY DICKS!!!
    I don’t think what you had done in those back alley’s in Thailand qualify as colonoscopies.
    “ No kingdom can be secured otherwise than by arming the people. The possession of arms is the distinction between a freeman and a slave”

    James Burg, An Enquiry into, Public Errors, Defects and Abuses 1775

  10. #10
    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trav View Post
    I don’t think what you had done in those back alley’s in Thailand qualify as colonoscopies.
    Make fun .... your day is coming young man!
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

  11. #11
    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    I'm sure I've told this story before, but I'll recycle it here. It'll show how "painless" the procedure actually is.

    I went in for my first colonoscopy and of course. expected the worse. I made it through the prep, which was torture, then went in the next morning for the procedure. The nurse started getting me hooked up and the doc started explaining the procedure to me, then he turned the monitor so that I could have a good view of it, and started aiming the camera around the room showing me how it all worked. It was pretty interesting. Then the nurse asked me to follow her as she helped me off the gurney. She took me into a small room next door where 3-4 other guys were sitting, then we all started talking about what we should expect during the procedure. The nurse was sitting at a desk doing some paperwork and one of us finally asked her when they were going to get started and in what order we'd be taken. She looked at us kind of funny and said, "You guys are finished with the procedure, this is the recovery room!" We were just there so she could monitor us until the drugs wore off enough for us to be released! Not ONE of us had a clue we'd already been through the procedure. Man! Those are some GOOD drugs they use!
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

  12. #12
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    I had an endoscopy, which is from the other end. I was having a conversation with the doctor and woke up in mid sentence. Only the doc wasn’t there. It was lights out in a second. And no sense of a lapse of time at all when I woke up.
    Strange.

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  13. #13
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Hombre's Avatar
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    The best part of goodhunting rigvht now is BBPs "colonoscopy time" thread is 1st on the list and BigSkyd "get ready to be blown away" is next

  14. #14
    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    Oh! Sorry P-hole ... this may be a bit late, but during the prep, DON'T WIPE! Delicately pat dry ....
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

  15. #15
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    Too late!

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  16. #16
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    All clear! No polyps no nuttin. Farting like a clydesdale but they say that’s par for the course.

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  17. #17
    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    Good deal! So it'll be a couple more days before we can tell you you're FOS again?
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

  18. #18
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    I’m working on that right now!

    Man that was a good cheeseburger.

    BKB
    Viva Renaldo!

  19. #19
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Hombre's Avatar
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    Congrats! I guess this means you can't wear white to a wedding anymore!

  20. #20
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Hombre's Avatar
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    Ps....I still can't believe people don't find these two threads together funny

    Screen Shot 2018-03-22 at 12.55.56 PM.jpg

  21. #21
    Grand High Exalted Taser-Master
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    "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones"
    Albert Einstein

  22. #22
    pUMpHEAD SYSOp Thumper's Avatar
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    Julie has a message for ya' P-hole ...


    colonoscopy_joke.jpg
    "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness" - Mark Twain

  23. #23
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    Hahahahahaha you have her pegged pretty well

    BKb
    Viva Renaldo!

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