Sucky update ....

[Thumper]

Mom’s condition has been a total roller-coaster this week. It’s been verified she had a stroke and a heart attack last week, as well as two previous mini-strokes. We’re 98% sure we know when they were (I was with her for the second one about a year ago), but we were told it had been a bout of “low blood pressure”.

They rolled her into surgery yesterday and basically didn’t do anything. She had a blood infection, an infection in one of her heart valves and a blood clot. Her veins/arteries are so trashed they can’t really do anything including installing the 3 stints they attempted to put in earlier this week.

Altzheimers is kicking in and she’s getting nasty and violent which makes it super tough on us. Yesterday she started cussing out the nurses/doctors and ended up ripping out her IV as well as jerking all her monitors off. Totally out of character and they’re trying to control her mood with drugs now. They want to move her into a rehab fascility where she’ll have to receive antibiotics via IV for 6-weeks (to fight the blood infection). That is going to be a real battle and she may have to be restrained to prevent yanking the IV out again.

This is turning into some really tough duty and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. We have put a DNR in place, but she could end up as not much more than a vegetable for a few years (doubtful) or could go at any minute (more likely), but nobody knows. The sucky part is, it’s really wearing us down, both emotionally as well as financially. Medicare will only help for another month, then it’ll basically be out of pocket. We did sell her house, but that $$$ will get drained in a flash with the current expenditures. If my sister and bro-in-law (whom I’m staying with here) were not millionaires, we’d be fubar and dependent on a Medicaid hell-hole.

Anyway, we’re hanging tough and realize the nastiness isn’t really coming from her, but it does add quite a degree of difficulty. I walked in yesterday and I had to tell her who I am. Then she asked, “Why are you here? I thought you lived in Florida!” I guess she doesn’t even know I’ve spent 10 hours a day by her side talking to her and helping make her as comfortable as possible. Oh well.

When Its time for me to go, I just want to go to bed one night and simply not wake up the next morning. Some parts of this getting old stuff really sucks. 😟

[jb]

We've been there with both Kay's dad & mother and my mother. It's not something they deserve or you, but just part of life. Hang in there good son.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Sorry to hear it for her and the family. I had no idea Medicare ever ran out for these types of situations.

Keep the faith, Jim. I know its tough.

BKb

[Bwana]

Prayers for you all in these tough times.

[Arty]

That’s hard stuff Jim. Keeping you in my thoughts.

[Big Muddy]

Southern prayers are already in place !!!!

[Chicken Dinner]

Man, I hate hearing things are going poorly for her and you. Just do what you can to ease her pain and try to take care of yourself along the way.


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[LJ3]

Sorry Jimmy. Lord knows it's a hard thing to negotiate your way thru.

[BarryBobPosthole]

In his final year, my Dad lost a large part of intellect. He was still there and once in a while he’d have a good day where he’d be his old self. It was harder because you missed them way before they were gone.

Its a hard row to hoe Jimmy. Be strong.

BKB

[LJ3]

As dementia set in, my Mom got mean as hell. Paranoid, too. Her (and my) sense of humor would poke thru on occasion. Sharpens ones perspective of what is truly important. One way or the other.

[DeputyDog]

Jim, I’m really sorry to hear this. It is a tough thing to have to handle. Even with previous dementia symptoms, anesthesia can have that effect on older patients. That can’t be helping in her case. I know my Mom, who didn’t have any previous issues, had a lot of dementia symptoms from the anesthesia after her hip replacement.


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[Big Muddy]

I prolly mentioned this previously, I went by my Mom’s to check on her daily, as she had early stages of dementia....she lit into me like a buzz saw, and claimed I had stolen her step ladder and car keys.....I didn’t even know my Mom knew some of those cuss words that she called me.
I started searching, and found her ladder under the dining room table, where she hid it under a pile of pillows.....and, she hadn’t driven in months, after I had to take away her car, and she was constantly losing her car keys....I got another cussing out for that, too.....however, after she passed away, we were preparing for the estate sale, and found 8 sets of her car keys in an old ice bucket.....the service manager at the dealership admitted later that he would just send her a new key, when she called him about losing hers.
———
Just remember, when dementia sets in on your parents, they are not the same parents that raised you.....their body might be totally healthy from the neck down, but that’s all.....saddest thing you’ll ever go thru.

[Thumper]

Yep, today was probably worse than yesterday. They reinserted her IV and completely wrapped her arm in gauze so she couldn’t get to it, then stuck new sensors on her chest. My sister stepped out of the room briefly and when she returned, mom had removed the gauze, pulled out her IV, pulled off the monitors along with her hospital gown and hid everything under her pillow. AND ... to make matters worse she had crapped her diaper and was removing it when my sis came back in the room. She had just enough time to really make a mess of things (no pun intended). This is NOT fun duty. She’s cursing everyone who’s trying to help her. That is NOT my mom. I really don’t know who she is right now. It sucks.

Eddie, a few months ago (after her mini-stroke), my brother and sister-in-law flew out from California. I was at moms a couple days later and she was mad as a wet hen. She told me my brother was welcomed to visit any time he wanted, but my sis-in-law was no longer allowed inside her house! Mom was convinced when they went back to California, my brother’s wife had stolen all of her nice “cruise clothes”! For one thing, my SIL is very petite and DEFINITELY had a different taste in clothing styles.

She described everything that was missing and my uncle and I turned the house upside down looking for the stuff, to no avail. According to mom, she KNOWS they were in the guest room closet because when my brother and SIL arrived, she slid her “cruise clothes” to one side to give them room to hang theirs on the other. She KNOWS they were there and she KNEW they were missing right after SIL left! A close friend of the family had been checking in on mom daily, doing her grocery shopping, cooking her meals and making sure she took her meds. When we mentioned it to her, she said all that stuff had been donated over a year ago! Mom wanted her closet cleaned out and stated she’d never be taking any more cruises, so she no longer needed her “cruise clothes”.

I never told my brother or SIL about that disaster.

[Captain]

Man that’s a lot to havebon you at one time. Your mom is a great lady.
Please tell her I’m praying for her.

[Chicken Dinner]

Give us an update when you can.


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[Penguin]

My heart goes out to you Jim. I hope things brighten up for you and your family soon buddy.

Will