I was cleaning out some old files this morning and ran across a hand-written card with obit enclosed, dated Oct. 05, 2009. It reads as follows:

Jim,

I'm just writing to let you know Bill passed away Friday morning, Oct. 2 of congestive heart failure. It came on very quickly and he was gone in 6 hrs. It was a shock after the good reports from the cancer doctor, but a blessing he didn't suffer for months as the cancer ate away at him. He valued your friendship, always looked forward to your phone calls and considered you a dear friend. I tried to call and email you, but nothing would go through for some reason. Please let his internet friends know.

Darlene


Of course, "Bill" is Bill "Mauserman" Rummel and we had grown extremely close after he was diagnosed with cancer. I was on the road at the time and I made sure he knew he could call me ANY time of day ... 3:00 pm or 3:00 am, it made no difference to me ... AND he took me up on that promise regularly. We had many 1-2 hour chats, usually late at night. Toward the end, we talked probably 5-6 nights out of the week (as well as many daytime calls). He knew he was dying and did everything he could to prepare. He sold off a HUGE collection of guns. In fact, he actually had SHIPPING CONTAINERS full of guns and gun parts, some which he had purchased and never even opened. By shipping container, I mean like you'd see on a cargo ship for example. He wanted Darlene to be set financially and didn't want her to have to deal with it. He bought her a new Cadillac and all the bills and mortgage was paid, etc. What I thought was really cool, is he had wanted a new truck for quite some time and told me he was going to splurge ... on HIMSELF! He actually went out and bought a fully loaded, brand new Ford pick-up! He'd tell me every night what he was going to do to it and at one point, I told him he sounds like a Tijuana cowboy with all the accessories he was tacking onto that thing. Visor, running boards, wheels, cargo cover, clearance lights, etc, etc. What made it even cooler was, the whole time he was doing this, he was in such bad shape, he couldn't even drive! Darlene would have to drive him to his appointments etc, but at least he got to RIDE in his new truck. The funny thing is, Darlene loved it as much as he did and he said she'd usually leave the Cadillac at the house and use his truck to run errands, etc! I could "feel" the smile on his face every time he'd talk about that truck. It was a parting gift to himself and it made his final weeks a happier time for him.

During one of our nightly phone conversations, he once thanked me for being there for him. We talked about 'Nam. He opened up and talked about things he'd never talked about with anyone before. I think it provided a lot of healing he'd needed for a long time. He told me he was comfortable talking about those things with me, but had never felt comfortable discussing it with anyone else since leaving 'Nam. In some ways, I knew more about him than his closest family did. In fact, it reached a point where he informed me he'd quit talking to his family altogether, including his own brother whom he was evidently pretty close to. When I asked why, he said he was sick and tired of everyone telling him he was going to get better. That the meds and treatments were going to get him back in shape and all was going to be fine. He said he was tired of the bullshit as his cancer was incurable and that I never sugar coated things. We talked about him preparing for death. Things he wanted to accomplish while he could still get around. He told me nobody else would face reality and actually TALK to him about what was inevitable. He knew he was going to die and grew tired of people tip-toeing around the topic and pretending that all was well, while I shot straight with him and accepted he was on the way out. We talked about his passing like some would talk about an upcoming business trip.

I could go on and on, but I've said enough. I miss that old fart. The odd thing is, a month after he passed is when I entered the hospital and was pretty danged close to joining ol' Mauserman myself ... wherever it is he ended up.


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