I haven't mentioned it here before, but I've spent most of my days this past week at the hospital, or now, a hospice center. The mother of a very close friend (we're actually considered family) fell at her assisted living facility last week and broke her hip. They did the hip surgery (replacement) on Friday, but she's never really recovered. She failed her swallow test Saturday, Sunday and Monday (she doesn't, or can't swallow) so the option was a feeding tube just to keep her alive. She has big-time dementia and does nothing but babble, plus she gets very aggressive at times, fighting with nurses, etc. She's over 95 years old, so some tough decisions needed to be made. Yesterday, she was moved into a VERY nice hospice facility. I was there waiting for her when she was transported and she came in swinging and fighting. They got her into her room and she was fighting the two attendants who were attempting to get her into bed. I was there with her daughter and Lynn, but we were waiting outside until they got her settled in. Well, she socked one of the nurses right in the side of the face and I stepped in. I held her hand, told her I was there and she IMMEDIATELY calmed down, gave me a smile and relaxed. Wow! It was quite a bonding experience. They got her situated while I held her hand and then her daughter and Lynn entered the room. The staff gave her some pain meds and a sedative which immediately took affect and she was out like a light. Our friend has a hired assistant who has spent every night with "mom" for over a year now and she showed up around 6:00 pm so we could all go home and get some rest. Our friend needed to go pack up all of mom's stuff from the assisted living facility today, so I went in at 5:00 am this morning to relieve the assistant and sit with mom. The assistant said she slept the WHOLE night through. About 5-mins after I got there, mom woke up, looked at me and smiled as I held her hand.

It's really tough. This lady is a total angel and was a teacher all her working life (elementary ... or grade school as it's called now). I held her hand and "talked" with her all morning. She can't carry on a real conversation and only babbles ... you can make nothing out that she says. The strange thing is, I asked her a few questions today and actually got a response! Are you cold? "No." Are you hot? "Yes." So I removed her blanket and just covered her with a sheet. It was very basic, but she actually knows what's going on I suppose. Now, I have to tell you, it's really tough going through this. To put it bluntly, hospice is simply a place where you go to die. She's on no food or water ... none ... not even ice chips. She can't swallow, so anything that enters her mouth will go into her lungs, then you have choking and most likely pneumonia as an aftermath. What hospice does is simply keep her as comfortable as possible. (pain killers, etc) She'll most likely pass by tomorrow or possibly Friday.

Ok, mom is extremely religious. She NEVER missed church. EVER! Once she was confined to a nursing home, she insisted to be taken, by wheelchair, into the chapel every Sunday (she was unable to be transported to church). Why did I mention "believers" in the title? As I said, she cannot speak in sentences. She babbles, but it's pure gibberish. She's been like this for quite a while. As I sat beside her bed this morning, holding her hand, she all of a sudden shouted out, "Mary!" And I mean LOUDLY ... like she was calling Mary from another room down the hall! I squeezed her hand and said, "Mom, Mary's not here." (I don't even KNOW a Mary) Mom looked me straight in the eye and said, "Yes she is!" (that was a sentence!!) I asked her where Mary is and she stared straight at the ceiling and pointed ... then continued staring and pointing. Virgin Mary? I dunno. At that instant, the Priest walked into the room! He said he was just making his morning rounds and dropped in to visit. As the Priest sat down beside her, I texted Lynn and asked who Mary is. She doesn't know a Mary. I called her daughter, told her the story and she said she has no idea who Mary is.

Anyway, her daughter is with her now and I came home to grab a sammich. I'll be making airport shuttle runs the rest of the day as family flies in and Lynn is making hotel reservations for many of them. We're about to lose one of the sweetest, kindest ladies you'd ever want to know. It's been a really rough week and after dealing with my own mother's funeral just a few months ago, I'll be looking at another one in a matter of days. This getting old and losing people around you is tough duty.