Sucky week.

[Thumper]

Started a no fiber diet yesterday. Today is the start of a liquid only diet (no alcohol of course). Tomorrow I continue on the liquids and start drinking the dreaded 55-gal drum of Roto-Rooter mix and constant potty runs. 1:00 pm Thursday is a Covid test and at 1:30 my colonoscopy. This is a week I have NOT been looking forward to.

[quercus alba]

At least you'll drop a few lbs. Maybe you've discovered a revolutionary new weight loss system, the Explosive Diarrhea diet plan

[Thumper]

Well, one plus is, I was just able to get an earlier appointment (8:30 am), so that's almost a half day less suffering. Trust me, once the anesthesia wears off, I'll eat enough to more than make up for any weight loss I'd experience!

[Hombre]

This doesn't sound like a sucky week as much as it sounds like a week that's going to blow! Good luck.

[Chicken Dinner]

Sucky for you or the technician who has to snake a tube up you ass-end?


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[Thumper]

Sucky for you or the technician who has to snake a tube up you ass-end?

Be nice to me, or I may post the photos.

[BarryBobPosthole]

I have a deal that fits on my power washer I use to jet drains. Bet that would do the trick.

Might need to shim it up a bit around the entrance to prevent blowback.

BKB

[Thumper]

Come to think of it, I should have a few of those old pressure washer sewer jetter nozzles in the garage. You may be onto something here!

(Oh, and bite me anyway)

[Chicken Dinner]

There’s a visual That I can’t get out of my head fast enough!


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[Big Skyz]

I think the Granola crew call this cleansing...

[Thumper]

And the REAL fun just started. At noon, I started guzzling the big ol’ jug of nastiness. Or, what’s officially labeled, “Colon Electrolyte Lavage PWD for SOLN …. Whatever that all means. I can translate though, “Gallon of Horsepiss”!

[Thumper]

Well, wish me luck. I’m checked in and in the waiting room awaiting my butt probe. Arrrggghhh! At least the hard part is over with. FINALLY!

Just had my Covid test and came out negative.

[BarryBobPosthole]

You sound excited.
BKB

[Thumper]

And you can get excited when you bite me!

[Chicken Dinner]

At Thump’s age, this is probably the highlight of his week!


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[quercus alba]

closest thing he's had to sex in years

[Chicken Dinner]

Poor guy’s gonna sleep through it too.


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[quercus alba]

oh well, he can always look forward to his next prostate exam

[BarryBobPosthole]

Thump, was getting airtight as good as you were expecting?

BKB

[Thumper]

Youse dufes need to stand in line, ‘cause I only have one tall stool here.

Actually, all went well, but they did find six polyps which have been sent for biopsy. Just a heads-up. If you’ve reached “the age”, get yourself scheduled for a colonoscopy. (there are no symptoms) These things don’t run in my family to my knowledge, but they found over 20 polyps on my first exam (when I turned 50) and more (don’t remember how many) on my next exam a year later. Then I got a clean bill of health for a many years, now they found six today. Anyone can have have polyps and most are benign. If you catch ‘em early, they’re not a problem once removed. Let ‘em go, and they can become cancerous.

If you’re 50 years old or more, get your ass in (pun intended) and get checked out.

[LJ3]

My docs office is hounding me to get un updated anal probe. Had to send in a crap sample today as a preliminary step. I coulda already told 'em I was full of shit.

[Thumper]

Heck, if you need back up, everyone here can verify that!

[BarryBobPosthole]

I had one last year and I think the doc said I was good for ten years? I think that’s right.

Anyway, congrats on the anal weedeating.

BKB

[Thumper]

I’ve always been told every five years if no polyps, once polyps are found, it’s annually. That’s the VA standard anyway.

They also found minor diverticulitis this time around. It never ends.

[BarryBobPosthole]

That’s like the tire guy telling you you’re one tenth of a RCH out of alignment and he can align it for a mere pittance.
BKB

[Thumper]

Well, here's my history, if it means anything. As you probably know, polyps (if caught early) aren't usually a big deal, but if NOT caught early, have a chance of turning cancerous. I had my first colonoscopy at 52 (they're recommended at 50 yrs. old). I was clean and had my second 5 years later at 57, which was also clean. Number 3 was at 62 and they found a shitload (no pun intended) of polyps and the doc said he quit counting at 20. They then put me on an annual schedule and a year later they found (6-7, can't remember persactly). Then I went through about 2-3 years of no polyps found, then got a new doctor who said I haven't had a problem lately, then put me back on a 5 year rotation. So, as of yesterday's colonoscopy, it's been 5 years and they found 6 polyps. I won't meet with my doctor until the biopsy report comes back, but I'd have to assume I'll go back onto the annual schedule. Lynn has never had a polyp and is on a 5 year rotation with private insurance.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, although I was checked 2 times by age 57, I never had a hint of a problem. 5 years later I was FULL of the dang things, If I'd been on a 10 year rotation, I'm not so sure at least one of those little buggers wouldn't have had time to turn cancerous. 10 years seems like a pretty long stretch to me, but what do I know?

[LJ3]

And right here, ladies and gentlemen, we have everything you never wanted to know about Jimmy’s ass

[Thumper]

It was meant to be a public service announcement.