Fate

[BarryBobPosthole]

With absolutely no experience other than my own, I’ve become a believer in fate. Not predestination mind you, but just a good old fashioned (maybe old person would be a better description) belief that much of wherever it is we end up in life is determined by circumstances out of our control. It still doesn’t mean its divinely plotted. I just mean that if we were able to map it out, we’d be able to see what decisions/consequences/life changing events led us to where we are. And it might be enlightening.
Strange topic for GH, yes. I think it was David Pecker that got me to thinking about it. How much did having to live life with that handle have to do with him running a sleazy outfit like National Enquirer? Is it totally his fault he’s an asshole?

BKB

[DeputyDog]

I see what you're saying, but I think that there is always a choice to be made and that is what sets the circumstances in motion. Even if the outcome is months or years in the future.

[BarryBobPosthole]

Without a doubt, its our own decisions that matter most.
BKB

[Penguin]

David Pecker? Never heard of that fellow!

It's a good question. If honest I will admit that there was a good deal of luck that contributed to the successes I've had. And that there was a good bit of bad judgment and bad decision making in my failures. Recognizing this, as I grow older, has been humbling.

Also made me realize that there are a lot of things out of my control. Helped my blood pressure. 😊

[Hombre]

Fate has something to do with outcomes but hard work, preparation, and decision making play a pretty big role imo. A bit off topic but I also think a persons attitude plays a large role in how we perceive the decisions we make and whether the outcomes are good/bad. Kat and I were talking about this the other day. We generally feel like we've made good decisions on major life events. Buying a house/properties, moving geographically, changing jobs, education choices or leaving jobs. But, I wonder how many of those are "the best" choice we could have made or just feel like it. I think we are generally the kind of people that once we decide on a direction, we commit to it and are generally positive. I think it helps things workout for the better. But, you don't know how the other directions would have turned out, it just feels like the choice was the best because there are no real comparables. I think things generally do work out and seem the best if you commit and try and find the good in a direction.

[BarryBobPosthole]

I like it. And agree. And sometimes to my own harm, I’ve stayed committed to bad directions for way longer than I should’ve. Much of it thanks to my own stubborness. But that’s a virtue when it works out, right?
Something someone told me in my business life once, stuck with me. For every decision, commitment, promise, direction, fork in the road there is a negative. It may be small, it may be great. And it may not be you that’s affected. But its there. I don’t mean we have to labor over everything. But like the one word note my old man taped to the dash of my car the first time I was allowed to drive it to school. ‘Think’

BKB

[quercus alba]

I'm not a believer in fate if used the strictest sense of the word(unavoidable outcome). I do believe in fate as in general probability such as if you make a habit of driving drunk then you are fated to an unpleasant outcome of some sort. I also believe that God created a natural order of things and for the most part allows man to carve his own path. I do believe that in certain circumstances He subtly becomes involved but I have no idea of what the criteria is for Him to do so. Our logic, experience, and integrity all play a part in our decision making process which in turns leads us to a general probability of events, thus our fate.

[Thumper]

Sometimes youse dufes make my brain hurt! I'm lazy and retired now, so STOP IT!

Well heck, you sucked me in, so I guess I have to comment.

I think there are many grey (gray?) areas with the word and it can mean different things to different people. Through life, I've always used two different words, although they are very similar in meaning, to differentiate what has been talked about here. I may not be technically correct, but it just helps me personally to figure out which is which.

I've always figured (generally speaking of course) that I have no real control over my fate. It's just gonna happen.

On the flip side, I use the word destiny for the results of my personal decisions and actions.

It doesn't always work and there are a bazillion contradictions, but to simplify things, I can personally categorize my life that way.

Let's say I've smoked all my life, am a heavy drinker, do drugs, never exercise, am overweight, party like an animal, drive drunk ... you get the idea ... I'm "destined" to die young.

I had a cousin who was a health nut, exercised daily, played sports, ate all the right things, didn't smoke, drink or do drugs, but died at age 28 of a rare genetic disease he knew nothing about. I feel that was his "fate".

Right or wrong, it's kind'a how I look at it.

[BarryBobPosthole]

But even his rare genetic disease was the result of a decision somewhere down the line. By your definition, some else’s destiny became his fate. And that’s exactly the point.
The Old Testament story about the ten commandments has a very similar sentiment when it says that sins commited by fathers will affect the next seven generations.
BKB

And to edit, I looked it up and I think he said three or four generations.

[Thumper]

I don't think so P-hole. I was a kid and don't really remember the details (and it was actually a second or third ? cousin I think). I never met her personally and they lived in Washington State ... about as far away from Florida as you could get. I just remember hearing about it from my grandmother. It was some oddball disease that supposedly laid dormant for generations or something like that. I was probably 6-7 years old at the time and didn't really understand it. I still don't as I don't even remember what it was, but I was told nobody in the family knew it ever existed. Heck, I don't even know anybody who's still alive who could explain it to me. About the only time I ever thought about it was wondering if I have anything like that hiding in me? Kind'a scary in a way, but with medicine where it was in those days, it may be something that doesn't even exist these days. I honestly don't believe anybody down the line made a decision to pass it along to her.

I only met one of my grandfather's brothers (Uncle Erb? Maybe Urb for Urban?) and couldn't even tell you how many siblings he had, I don't even remember if it was my grandfather's brother, sister, cousin, aunt, uncle or what the family connection was. I just used 2nd or 3rd cousin because I really don't know the actual family relationship.

But it's kind of a moot point IMHO as I don't believe any decisions were made to pass this thing on ... I don't even know if anyone understood the biology involved in those days.

[BarryBobPosthole]

It really doesn’t matter, all I’m saying is that much of what we think of as fate, is really just the natural unfolding of events we might not even be aware of. Our daughter died of a rare cancer that as far as they know isn’t genetic or hereditary andcthey don’t know yet thegenetic markers for it. So yeah, there’s no simple explanation for everything. shit does indeed happen.
But what if we did know? We’re getting to a point where they do know genetic markers for diseases and conditions. The moral question is, what do we do about it and should we? Making kids has always been a crapshoot. There’s a whole pile of stuff coming up that I’m glad I don’t have to unravel before I have kids. Its a much different world, regardless of our desire to keep it the same. Do we ride or fight? Are we survivors or stragglers?
Scattershooting has been fun!
BKB

[Thumper]

I know what you're saying P-hole. It reminds me of that reality TV show that's on now. Little People? (or something like that) It's a family that started out as two dwarfs (dwarves?), heck, "little people" to be P/C. They have a pile of kids. Most of the kids ended up with dwarfism. Some of the kids have grown over the years and married "normal" people and have had kids themselves. It's a total crap-shoot and they have mixed results, dwarf kids and normal kids. From the outside looking in, I feel like they're shitheads for having kids, but that's not my call. Right or wrong? I don't know. It's a personal decision, but it just goes against my grain to knowingly pass that gene down and subject the kids to that difficult life on purpose. Seems selfish to me, but who am I?