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Thread: Miserable July 4th.....

  1. #1
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Miserable July 4th.....

    Yesterday sucked donkey dicks!!!!!
    B-i-l decided to move our get together out to his deer camp in the dayum woods and cook out there.
    Only one room had a/c. Temps in the 90's.
    First of all, the boy cant cook. Then the dayum skeeters overtook the entire place.
    Couldnt even shoot fireworks in the yard without sucking skeeters up your nose.
    Kids ended up shooting only four roman candles and five sparklers. They were not happy campers!!!

    Back to the cooking....get this; the boy put the dayum boston butt on the smoker at 10 AM.
    We were suppose to eat at 2 PM. Thats only 4 hours. Need I say how it looked when he put it on the table???
    Blood was still dripping out of it. He tried to slice it and it looked like chunks of a bloody tire that just ran over an armadillo on the hiway.
    Next, came his ribs, off another smoker, hidden on the back porch.
    Completely burned black and look like hunks of lava rock.

    I will have to admit that the chicken was excellent!!! Aunt Dianne had cooked it in the oven!!!
    Last edited by Big Muddy; 07-05-2013 at 11:23 AM.
    Southern Gentleman

  2. #2
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    On a positive note, some of the kinfolks decided to stay over an extra day.
    Hahaha....(Maybe they just want some GOOD food.
    Ive got all my ribs and butts on the smoker, and the kids are out on the lake.

    Happy July 5th, everyone !!!!!

    I guess alls well that ends well!!!!!
    Southern Gentleman

  3. #3
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Buckrub's Avatar
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    Hmmmm. I woulda thought you to be the Family Patriarch.

    Maybe we need to talk to this brother in law...........
    WARNING - Due to the rising costs of ammunition, warning shots will no longer be given.

  4. #4
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    A bloody butt is what Artie's having too from the sound of it.

    BKB

  5. #5
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Well, I guess I am the patriarch of MY family.

    However, this is Arkie kinfolks on wifey's side, I'm talking about here.

    There's times when I definitely question their DNA.

    Somewhere along the way, termites musta got into their family tree.
    Southern Gentleman

  6. #6
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Whats wrong with Artys butt???

    'Rhoids???
    Southern Gentleman

  7. #7
    Administrator BarryBobPosthole's Avatar
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    Well, this is his idea of a vacation.
    BKB

    I'm working.
    On my tan
    On my cornhole skills
    On my beer drinking skills
    On my surf fishing skills
    On my wave jumping skills

    And so it shall be for the next 9 days.

  8. #8
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Ohhhhh, I get it, he's gettin' cornholed.
    Southern Gentleman

  9. #9
    Senior Member (too much time on their hands) Buckrub's Avatar
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    and fishing for surfs.
    WARNING - Due to the rising costs of ammunition, warning shots will no longer be given.

  10. #10
    Administrator LJ3's Avatar
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    I was gonna offer to send some of this down just to get you balanced again but it sounds like you have everything well in hand now. How stupid do you have to be to think a smoker would cook a roast in 4 hours? Dumbass.

    This was my 2nd shoulder. The first one was attacked and consumed by people that ate and behaved like starving refugees. I finally got my dry rub down to where it makes a reeeaaalll nice bark. Crispy, sweet, spicy and smoky... slap yo Mama. Or your dumbass relatives The smoked chicken lasted about as long.

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    If we all threw our problems in a pile, and you saw everyone else's problems-- you'd take yours back.

  11. #11
    Administrator Niner's Avatar
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    Whoaaa. Hold the phone there Edster. What happened to mama's insisting the festivities be held a pap-n-maw-inlaws house??? That bloody switcheroo sucks big time!!!!

    On the other hand, you've got told-ya-so ammo for YEARRRRS.


    I guess the ol' BIL's new nickname should be Wormy, since he likes to serve up rare/raw pork.
    My "disability" does not make me "disabled".


    Cancer Sucks!
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  12. #12
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    Good point there, Niner.

    Believe me, I Will hold that over wifeys head for a while.
    Southern Gentleman

  13. #13
    Delta Dufus Big Muddy's Avatar
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    And Sunny Im glad your sons condition has proved.

    Scary situation for sure.

    Ive been thinking about you guys.
    Southern Gentleman

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