This getting old stuff is for the birds. It seems you get to a certain point in your life and things just start falling apart.

Last week I awoke one morning feeling like someone had kicked me in the nut sack. My left nut was so sore it hurt to breathe! Of course I GENTLY felt around a bit ... but it was danged painful and my left 'nad felt pretty swollen. Heck, I figured I'd rolled over in my sleep and got 'em smashed between my legs or sumpin'. I think that was around Tuesday or Wednesday of last week. It hurt like hell, but Lynn and I had reservations at the beach for Friday - Sunday ... so I kinda down-played it a bit. BUT ... by Friday, I was feeling a lot better and by Saturday there was just a very little amount of "tenderness" if touched, but generally it just wasn't a problem. Sunday ... nothing ... zilch ... nada. I wrote the whole thing off to an unintended "injury" or maybe some sort of "infection" that cleared up. Since Sunday, I haven't even thought about it.

Fast forward to this morning. I was getting up early to head out to an estate sale and happened to reach down to kinda move my massive nut sack out of the way to roll out of bed.

Well, I felt "something" that kind of caught my attention. I stopped, felt around a bit (let's call it a "self-exam") and determined SUMPIN' ain't right. There is a hard "lump" ('bout the size of a large pea) on my left 'nad (the one that was so sore last week). Now I have to admit, contrary to popular belief, I REALLY don't play with my nuts all that much. I have no clue how long it's been there, but am assuming it's connected to the pain last week. So ... I've cancelled my plans today and will be calling in for a visit to my doctor.

Let me tell you ... I've already had about 10,000 "I told you so's" from Lynn this morning. She wanted to cancel our weekend last week and take me to the doctor, but I nixed the idea because it was getting better on it's own (the pain only lasted about 3 days). Her brother died of testicular cancer a few years ago at an early age ... so she's VERY sensitive about this sort of thing. I also have to wonder about the Agent Orange connection. After the military did some research they verified I'd been exposed (something I've known for 42 frigging years), but they just recently admitted. Testicular cancer as an AO exposure symptom is on their "needs more study" list ... but I am already on the official "National AO Registry" as being exposed for 3+ years!

Right now, I have no clue if there's a connection or if I even have a problem at all. I guess I'll be finding out soon enough .. once I go in and have my balls played with by my (of course) .... female doctor! I HOPE I'm simply over-reacting ... but who knows?

This sucks ... and I'd be lyin' if I said I'm not just a little bit concerned.

Youse dufuses may want to play with yourselves for a few minutes tonight just for the helluvit. Here's my public service announcement for today:

What are the Signs of Testicular Cancer?

Men themselves, not doctors, find most testicular cancers as a painless lump or an enlargement or hardening of the testicle, this is why regular self-exams are so important. If you do notice any lumps or changes it is important to see a doctor immediately. Many men with testicular cancer do not feel ill and many times there is no pain involved.

Here are the major symptoms (I had 4 out of 7 last week).

1) Any enlargement of a testicle
2) A significant loss of size in one of the testicles
3) A feeling of heaviness in the scrotum
4) A dull ache in the lower abdomen, back or in the groin
5) A sudden collection of fluid in the scrotum
6) Pain or discomfort in a testicle or in the scrotum
7) Enlargement or tenderness of the breasts

Did I already say this sucks?