Friday funny

[Captain]

A Navy fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it.”
The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”
The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?” "Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!”
The fighter pilot, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”

[Thumper]

Hey! I had one'a those watches once!

[Captain]

Yea and you also wore pink Panties.... So what's your point? 😈

[Captain]

I asked my Doctor, "Doctor, what are we going to do about this dangerous virus from Africa?
And he said, "I don't know, he still has two more years office

[Big Muddy]

.
Al Sharpton was in Sears.

He was there to protest the fact that most all of the washing machines were white.
So the clerk called the store manager over, who asked, “What’s the problem here, Reverend?

Sharpton pointed at the machines and loudly bemoaned the fact that most of them were white.

The manager replied, “Well, Reverend, it's true that most of the washing machines are white, but
if you'll open the lids, you'll see that all the agitators are black."