A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:

"""If you are sleeping, send me your dreams,
If you are laughing, send me your smile,
If you are eating, send me a bite,
If you are drinking send me a sip,
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you!"""

The husband, typically non-romantic, replied, """I am on the shitter. Please advise."""